Ex still has photo of me on his socials.

[truelovewinsall23]

My Ex and I broke up after a year together. 

I am accepting the break up he broke up with me. I feel like he wasn't sure about the break up. He broke up with me but I had some great support of my girlfriends and family so I wasnt thrown to the wolves. 

The thing is I am aware he is back on the dating sites and he is a free man and can do what he likes just like I myself am a free woman. We still follow each other on social media and the break up wasn't bad it was sudden but I think all break ups are like that. 

So I noticed he still has a photo of me on socials, it is very much a couple photo like you would know it and I am curious why would you keep a very much couple photo on your page? I know for a fact he hates the photo he used to tell me it all the time after he posted it and says he looks terrible in it. 

I understand keeping photos if it isn't exactly obvious that your a couple like the could just be friends type of photo but this one isn't one of those. 

There is about 5% of me holding out a little that maybe it's a sign that he might not be sure of his decision but that is me just trying to see a positive I am aware that it wont happen. 

So what do people make of it? Surely if you are back on dating sites and moving on having a very couplie photo would give the impression you where still in a relationship? 

I am now a single woman and wouldn't say I would be really put off but If I meet or was texting etc a guy and then looked at his instagram and saw that photo it would make me think there are some longings there or feelings? 

[Wiseman2]

9 minutes ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

We still follow each other on social media and the break up wasn't bad it was sudden but I think all break ups are like that.  I noticed he still has a photo of me on socials

Sorry this happened. What was the breakup about? Make sure you ask him to take down your photos as well as deleting and blocking him and all his people from all your social media. If you date again, it is a red flag that you two are still on social media together replete with photos. If he wanted to reconcile,  you would know..

[truelovewinsall23]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened. What was the breakup about? Make sure you ask him to take down your photos as well as deleting and blocking him and all his people from all your social media. If you date again, it is a red flag that you two are still on social media together replete with photos. If he wanted to reconcile,  you would know..

I understand it, I doesn't really bother me at all. I just find it so odd why he hasn't removed it as it is a couple photo. Like I get not deleting your photos but my ex rarely ever posted and his most recent one is one of the two of us cuddled together at a friends wedding. Especially given he said how much he didn't like the photo but liked how happy we where in it. 

The reason for the break up was he thought we where incompatible, I am aware he has moved on given him being on dating sites etc I am just curious and not for me to wait around but does it signal he still has feelings. 

Like even yesterday I saw his stories and he was posting about loosing an earphone. Stupid but it was our inside joke I always teased him about it. It was like it was posted for me to see. 

[smackie9]

Block/Delete, stop stalking/checking his SM. Move on, start fresh. 

[poppyfields]

1 minute ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

Like even yesterday I saw his stories and he was posting about loosing an earphone. Stupid but it was our inside joke I always teased him about it. It was like it was posted for me to see. 

I've experienced similar. And still experiencing it to some degree even though I'm married and my ex's know it. 

He's messing with you, that's all.  It's a total mind "spin."

Don't take it seriously, or allow it to affect you in any way shape or form

I wouldn't bother blocking or deleting, he's not worth the effort.  Who cares, simply ignore it. 

What's important is that you continue moving forward in your life and being happy. 

 

 

Edited November 28, 2022 by poppyfields

[stillafool]

If he was the one to break up with you because he felt you were not compatible and has yet to apologize, retract the breakup he's moved on.  Left over pictures, whatever don't matter.  If he's not asking to see you and talk, block, delete and move on because he has.  How long ago was the break up?

[truelovewinsall23]

8 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

Block/Delete, stop stalking/checking his SM. Move on, start fresh. 

I really do want to do it but he was a pretty decent guy. wasn't perfect but a good guy. The reason I am asking the question is I feel like he might be regretting breaking up. But I know I cant be the one to reach out because he done the breaking up. 

The reason I ask is we did have a big argument before and he deleted the photos of me. Out of anger, but this time it feels different. I know if he wanted to he would delete them but im curious as to why he hasn't. 

[truelovewinsall23]

2 minutes ago, stillafool said:

If he was the one to break up with you because he felt you were not compatible and has yet to apologize, retract the breakup he's moved on.  Left over pictures, whatever don't matter.  If he's not asking to see you and talk, block, delete and move on because he has.  How long ago was the break up?

It happened Friday 18th November so still recent enough. I spoke to my mother about it and she's always been someone I turned to as she gives the best honest advice and can read people like no one else can. She thinks I should wait a few more days and see. She knows all the ins and outs of the relationship so I do trust her to a certain extent she is also older and didnt understand what Tinder was so while her advice helps the advice of people who are familiar with those things help too. 

[stillafool]

7 minutes ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

She thinks I should wait a few more days and see.

Well since you trust your mom do as she's advised.  Being that the break up was 11/18 could explain also why the picture isn't down by now.  I hope it works out for you.

Edited November 28, 2022 by stillafool

[truelovewinsall23]

1 minute ago, stillafool said:

Well since you trust your mom do as she's advised.  Being that the break up was 11/18 could explain also why the picture isn't down by now.  I hope it works out for you.

Yeah that's what I was thinking as it is so recent maybe that's why it is still up I do trust my moms advice, but she has also been married for 50 years so isn't very in the know. Plus his stories about the earphones. Very out of character for him to post that and something that we only joked about. 

I am not sure if he's testing the waters, maybe is afraid to reach out and was hoping posting that would make me reach out. I know i am reaching with that idea lol but I thought maybe its his way of trying to get me to contact him as he's stubborn. 

But also I think if you do regret a decision whatever it might be you try to rectify as quick as possible. 

[truelovewinsall23]

32 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

I've experienced similar. And still experiencing it to some degree even though I'm married and my ex's know it. 

He's messing with you, that's all.  It's a total mind "spin."

Don't take it seriously, or allow it to affect you in any way shape or form

I wouldn't bother blocking or deleting, he's not worth the effort.  Who cares, simply ignore it. 

What's important is that you continue moving forward in your life and being happy. 

 

 

Why do it though? 

I am a little torn cause I think he might be testing the water or maybe is having regrets. He could also just be posting for posting but the image he posted was so relevant to our inside jokes and tbh was something he would never have posted before. 

[glows]

A friend still has her first marriage’s wedding photos over a decade ago on her social media page. She initiated the divorce and remarried soon after and has two kids with her second husband. 

He ended it so he has reason to leave and the photos likely don’t mean anything. I don’t think it means he still has feelings for you. As in the case with the friend I mentioned she says she appreciates the special day and it’s her memories despite the marriage obviously not working. It hasn’t prevented her from moving on and her new husband wasn’t jealous about it. 

What you can do is ask him to remove your photo on the web and delete and block him from your contacts. Those are his memories too so best to let go and acknowledge that the relationship is over. 

[truelovewinsall23]

3 minutes ago, glows said:

A friend still has her first marriage’s wedding photos over a decade ago on her social media page. She initiated the divorce and remarried soon after and has two kids with her second husband. 

He ended it so he has reason to leave and the photos likely don’t mean anything. I don’t think it means he still has feelings for you. As in the case with the friend I mentioned she says she appreciates the special day and it’s her memories despite the marriage obviously not working. It hasn’t prevented her from moving on and her new husband wasn’t jealous about it. 

What you can do is ask him to remove your photo on the web and delete and block him from your contacts. Those are his memories too so best to let go and acknowledge that the relationship is over. 

Thanks, I apricate  that.  You are right they are just memories. 

[Ami1uwant]

1 hour ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

I understand it, I doesn't really bother me at all. I just find it so odd why he hasn't removed it as it is a couple photo. Like I get not deleting your photos but my ex rarely ever posted and his most recent one is one of the two of us cuddled together at a friends wedding. Especially given he said how much he didn't like the photo but liked how happy we where in it. 

The reason for the break up was he thought we where incompatible, I am aware he has moved on given him being on dating sites etc I am just curious and not for me to wait around but does it signal he still has feelings. 

Like even yesterday I saw his stories and he was posting about loosing an earphone. Stupid but it was our inside joke I always teased him about it. It was like it was posted for me to see. 

it depends on the photo.  We’re you traveling somewhere or did you go to a concert ?  Peop,e dhoukd sacrafice memories of a trip thry took just because it was with an ex.

 

why did the relationship end? He might still have feelings for you

[glows]

10 minutes ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

Thanks, I apricate  that.  You are right they are just memories. 

We went to high school together, all four of us, and I saw her through both marriages. That may have something to do with her second husband not feeling jealous. He knew what her first marriage was like too in addition to knowing her since we were kids.

Generally keeping exes up visibly isn’t a good look and he may have to learn the hard way when someone eventually asks questions. He may delete them on his own when he’s ready too unless you ask first and he obliges.

Either way, yes, please accept it’s over and remove him from your contacts eventually so you can heal and move on.

Edited November 28, 2022 by glows

[poppyfields]

21 minutes ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

Why do it though? 

To elicit a reaction. 

Even if not to him directly, he knows your wheels are spinning, which they are otherwise this thread wouldn't exist. 

He may still harbor some feelings as do you otherwise you'd be indifferent to it. 

Like I am towards my ex(s) when I see something like.

I pay it no mind, it doesn't bother me, I ignore it - indifference. 

Which is what I suggest you do as well unless you want something to happen with him. 

Do you? 

 

 

[truelovewinsall23]

OK so I have an interested update. The guy in question is using a dating app by location and I have the same app both of which show you men or women by who is closest. 

Anyway, I just looked at the app and guess who was less then 547 meters from my home. My ex. Now I know he drives by it daily he has too for work however I don't know if he parked somewhere to see if he could see me on it? 

He has never once shown up on this app before being so close and now he is all of a sudden. I don't understand why someone would want to be seen in an area theyre ex lives Like if I was in the area where he lived and I saw him I would block him to avoid that awkwardness. 

I don't know what to make of it. 

[Lotsgoingon]

I agree with others that you really want to move on. Let him directly come to you if he wants reignite things.

Could be he's just incompetent and lazy or socially inept. Ideally, if he's worth returning to you, you should KNOW him well enough to answer this question yourself. Stop the "I understand" stuff and let yourself think and imagine and add up what you know of the guy and come up with an answer! Let yourself think all the forbidden thoughts, think of his weaknesses as well as strengths and you will have your answer. 

BTW: you really want to be able to answer questions like this as you date. Example: do you know why he broke up with you? Not what he says, but why he really did it. Lots of people don't honestly explain a breakup, for multiple reasons. 

Now, if you want to step up and into some real maturity and boldness, ask him directly. If the presence of those photos is bothering you even 5 percent as you say, then that's too much.

 

[Alpacalia]

2 hours ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

I am now a single woman and wouldn't say I would be really put off but If I meet or was texting etc a guy and then looked at his instagram and saw that photo it would make me think there are some longings there or feelings? 

I think it's quite possible that you can still have feelings towards someone but still not want to get back together. He may also just not have gotten around to removing the photos. To the other comment, if he wanted to get back together with you, you would know.

I'm sorry that's probably not what you are hoping to hear. I know it can be hard not to go digging for signs that someone that you are hurting over might just be feeling the same way.

He is actively on dating sites.

That means he is moving on.

[glows]

18 minutes ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

OK so I have an interested update. The guy in question is using a dating app by location and I have the same app both of which show you men or women by who is closest. 

Anyway, I just looked at the app and guess who was less then 547 meters from my home. My ex. Now I know he drives by it daily he has too for work however I don't know if he parked somewhere to see if he could see me on it? 

He has never once shown up on this app before being so close and now he is all of a sudden. I don't understand why someone would want to be seen in an area theyre ex lives Like if I was in the area where he lived and I saw him I would block him to avoid that awkwardness. 

I don't know what to make of it. 

This is where it’s a good idea to block and put the phone down. You may be having a tough time with the break up but don’t make this harder for yourself. He broke up with you which means he doesn’t want to be with you.  

Edited November 28, 2022 by glows

[ExpatInItaly]

You're probably reading too much into it, OP. 

I know people who've been broken up for ages and moved on to other relationships, yet still have old couple photos with exes lingering in the depths of their social media. It means nothing other than they were fond memories and the people in question don't really care that much who sees them.

25 minutes ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

guess who was less then 547 meters from my home. My ex. Now I know he drives by it daily he has too for work however I don't know if he parked somewhere to see if he could see me on it? 

Again, you are projecting. If he's on a dating app, he is not looking to get back together with you. You are going to drive yourself crazy if you don't block him everywhere you can. 

[poppyfields]

OP, not everything is so black and white to assume because he's on a dating app, he doesn't still harbor feelings and doesnt want to get back.

Life doesn't work that way. There are various nuances and shades of gray. 

It might mean something, it might mean nothing. 

Human behavior (especially from ex-boyfriends/girlfriends) can be confusing and drive you crazy IF you allow it to. 

Truth is, no one, including myself, knows what his motives and intentions are.  The only person who knows is HIM.

I was projecting based on my own experiences with ex's who still post stuff on their socials or sometimes even message me directly with what amounts to BS.   

Again, I do not care and ignore. 

I asked you earlier if YOU still harbor feelings and you didn't answer. 

That's fine, you're not obligated to answer but in situations like this, instead of focusing so much energy on what you think HE is doing and why, focus on yourself to determine why you are reacting the way you are. 

The answer lies within you. 

Edited November 28, 2022 by poppyfields

[flitzanu]

leaving a photo on social media is absolutely not an indication of regretting dumping someone.  most likely, as he dumped you, he just doesn't care and doesn't have an emotional attachment to the photo and left it posted.

if he knows how to be in touch with you which it sounds like he does, he would absolutely be telling you he wants to reconcile.

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

 I spoke to my mother about it and she's always been someone I turned to as she gives the best honest advice and can read people like no one else can. She thinks I should wait a few more days and see. 

How old is he? Are you hoping he will come back?

[Alvi]

9 hours ago, truelovewinsall23 said:

he broke up with me.

I could be wrong, but if he wanted to continue dating you, he would not have broken up with you. He knows how to find you if he wishes to do so. But since he is not contacting you, guessing he is not interested getting back together. It sounds like you are grasping at the last straw, trying to find something, anything that would indicate that he wants to restart this relationship again.  A picture on his social media page means absolutely nothing. Him being in close proximity to you means nothing. You better stop focusing on him and why he is doing whatever he is doing. Start focusing on yourself and your own healing. 

Sure, you can listen to your mother and wait few more days or weeks or month for him to change his mind and come back. But what if it never happens? For how long are you willing to put your life on the hold for a guy who dumped you? Even if he choses to come back, what is going to be different? You said that the two of you are not compatible, so what is going to change if he actually comes back to you wanting a relationship? Do you truly believe that if he comes back, the two of you are going to suddenly be more compatible somehow and whatever issues that you had are just going to vanish?

I would suggest going no contact with him. That would mean blocking him everywhere. Blocking is not about him or about sending him any message. It is more about you being able to move on with your life without any unnecessary destructions (like looking at his social media pages). Like I said, he knows where to find you but he is not in any hurry to make things up with you, is he? Take a few days, weeks, months and grieve this if you must. But understand it is what it is. Start dating again after you feel that you are emotionally strong again.