KTINSC72 Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 I have read alot of the posts on this board and the consensus seems to be just what I didn't want to hear.... of course like everyone else, I feel that my situation is a little different, but in the end it is the same... Maybe you can offer some advice... I am currently seperated, almost divorced (thank god). My ex was unfaithful, thus I am not exactly the most trusting person in the world. I have been casually dating and finding that all men are pretty much the same... pigs (sorry guys just a generalization). Enter old high school sweetheart, ya know, the one that got away, the one that was always meant to be but the timing was never right. He found out through a mutual friend that I was getting divorced. Within an hour of finding out this information, he calls me. His exact words... "You have been trying to get away from me for 16 years and you are not going to do it this time". I knew he was married, unhappily. He goes on to say he is leaving his wife and that if there ever was a chance for us, its now. That was a month ago, he has since talked with an attorney, but is still living at home. Says he is moving out as soon as he can but does not want to just blindside his wife. We have seen each other several times since then, even spend a few days off together. He works out of town and normally spends a few weeknights away from home, so at times will drive back from his job to stay with me, then drive back 2 hours to work the next morning. I have no reason not to trust him other than the fact that he is cheating on his wife (just a small detail). We have never seemed to be able to keep away from each other over the past 16 years. The L word is mentioned alot, we get along beautifuly and the sex is mindblowing! Friends have always commented that we were made for each other, and he is talking long term for us. I am skeptical! He says he has a plan, says that it will only be as long as it has to. How long do I give him to take care of what he needs to do? Do I refuse to see him until he has taken care of his situation and moved out? Geez, I sound like an episode of Jerry Springer!
Sami_D Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 How long do I give him to take care of what he needs to do? Do I refuse to see him until he has taken care of his situation and moved out? It doesn't sound like you're head over heels here... it's just an option for you at the moment, yes? I'd tell him you're flattered, and would love to see him once his D is final.
Author KTINSC72 Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 I'm pretty head over heels... have loved him since we were kids. I'm just afraid to let my guard down.
Sami_D Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 "He goes on to say he is leaving his wife and that if there ever was a chance for us, its now. That was a month ago, he has since talked with an attorney, but is still living at home. Says he is moving out as soon as he can but does not want to just blindside his wife." You're in a situation at the moment in which you feel vulnerable? He's telling you that he 'is leaving his wife' but 'doesn't want to blindside her'. Sounds dodgy to me (Just my opinion). And I would say... you might have lots of lovely memories (and hopes)... but please try to keep your head. You are still IN CONTROL here. Don't let that slip away with meetings, love-making and 'promises'. Tell him.. you're flattered, and would love to see him once his D is finalised.
TheDiva Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 I am skeptical! He says he has a plan, says that it will only be as long as it has to. MM's with "plans" typically do not leave. The "plan" is usually an excuse to keep you hanging while he figures out how to juggle you both. MM aside, jumping into a new long term relationship while you are not even divorced yourself probably isn't a good idea. Tell him you will see him when he has his papers in hand, cause its a lonely walk on Heartache Road.
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