NuevoYorko Posted November 28, 2022 Posted November 28, 2022 4 hours ago, CuriousSara said: No, I’m trying to say she will encounter many girls that are interested in him so working there for her will not be easy or enjoyable. That's not the way that successful marriages or other long term relationships work. The existence of attractive people doesn't automatically mean a threat, and doesn't make life or work less enjoyable. For heaven's sake. 1
basil67 Posted November 28, 2022 Posted November 28, 2022 4 hours ago, CuriousSara said: No, I’m trying to say she will encounter many girls that are interested in him so working there for her will not be easy or enjoyable. There is so much wrong with this statement. 1. Why do you assume he will have many girls who are interested in him? 2. If there are many girls who are interested, how would she know? 3. If she does know that they are interested but he keeps good boundaries, why do you assume she would find it difficult? Truly, this is none of your business and it looks like it's just more of you being mean towards her out of jealousy. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted November 28, 2022 Posted November 28, 2022 OP, I think it is best you stop working with this man in any capacity. You are making way too many baseless assumptions about him, his girlfriend, and their relationship. None of it is any of your business. It's making you look jealous and condescending, frankly. Anyway, he is not single and it would be highly inappropriate now to shoot your shot. Leave them be. There is no need to stew in your own feelings. Cut this whole thing off so you can let go and move on. I wouldn't even bother maintaining a professional relationship with him, since it's causing you too miuch turmoil. It's not worth it. 3
Wiseman2 Posted November 28, 2022 Posted November 28, 2022 11 hours ago, CuriousSara said: she’s already in his life and she’s from his culture too. This is the most important thing. He was straight honest and clear with you that they are together. He may think you're a fine worker so will continue to do business with you. What is unclear is why you won't pursue interested available men rather than be upset about a situation you have no control over. All you can do is change what is changeable and that's not him, his business, his GF or their culture. What is in your control is finding men who are interested in dating you. 2
Author CuriousSara Posted November 28, 2022 Author Posted November 28, 2022 4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: This is the most important thing. He was straight honest and clear with you that they are together. He may think you're a fine worker so will continue to do business with you. What is unclear is why you won't pursue interested available men rather than be upset about a situation you have no control over. All you can do is change what is changeable and that's not him, his business, his GF or their culture. What is in your control is finding men who are interested in dating you. I will pursue my other interested and available men as you say this is controllable by me. I should have no problem moving forward and developing some other meaningful personal relationships. Thank you for your guidance.
Author CuriousSara Posted November 28, 2022 Author Posted November 28, 2022 8 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: OP, I think it is best you stop working with this man in any capacity. You are making way too many baseless assumptions about him, his girlfriend, and their relationship. None of it is any of your business. It's making you look jealous and condescending, frankly. Anyway, he is not single and it would be highly inappropriate now to shoot your shot. Leave them be. There is no need to stew in your own feelings. Cut this whole thing off so you can let go and move on. I wouldn't even bother maintaining a professional relationship with him, since it's causing you too miuch turmoil. It's not worth it. I will try working a bit more together and see how it goes for me. I can always stop and move on if it gets to be too much. Thank you. 1
stillafool Posted November 28, 2022 Posted November 28, 2022 6 minutes ago, CuriousSara said: I will try working a bit more together and see how it goes for me. I can always stop and move on if it gets to be too much. Thank you. Do you have to "work a bit more together"? Or just mind your business and do YOUR job? 1
Author CuriousSara Posted November 28, 2022 Author Posted November 28, 2022 10 minutes ago, stillafool said: Do you have to "work a bit more together"? Or just mind your business and do YOUR job? Well I’m always going to the shop to pick up items then I go back to drop off. So that’s 2 to 3 times a week usually. Since she’s been in shop he’s been weird with his phone too. Doesn’t reply as often and I see she uses his phone too so she sees all interactions etc. I’ve limited my phone texts recently with him.
stillafool Posted November 28, 2022 Posted November 28, 2022 3 minutes ago, CuriousSara said: Well I’m always going to the shop to pick up items then I go back to drop off. So that’s 2 to 3 times a week usually. Since she’s been in shop he’s been weird with his phone too. Doesn’t reply as often and I see she uses his phone too so she sees all interactions etc. I’ve limited my phone texts recently with him. I'm confused Sara I don't know how your statement above relates to my post.
Author CuriousSara Posted November 28, 2022 Author Posted November 28, 2022 (edited) 4 minutes ago, stillafool said: I'm confused Sara I don't know how your statement above relates to my post. I though you were asking about how much we were together. No? I’m not sure what you are asking. Edited November 28, 2022 by CuriousSara
stillafool Posted November 28, 2022 Posted November 28, 2022 33 minutes ago, CuriousSara said: I will try working a bit more together and see how it goes for me. I can always stop and move on if it gets to be too much. Thank you. You said the above and I'm asking: Do you have to try to work together, or just mind your business and do your job? You don't have to try to work together, you just have to mind your business and do your job. It's that simple.
Author CuriousSara Posted November 28, 2022 Author Posted November 28, 2022 2 minutes ago, stillafool said: You said the above and I'm asking: Do you have to try to work together, or just mind your business and do your job? You don't have to try to work together, you just have to mind your business and do your job. It's that simple. Yes I see. Yes it’s that simple. As I was doing before he told me about it. I’m going back to that time. It works for me and hopefully it will for him.
Recommended Posts