Non communicative ex and tennis

[Alpacalia]

4 hours ago, Caliguy2349 said:

I think this is another facet I didn't mention.  He has a 6 yr old half sister. His half sister plays soccer. 

So my son has to watch her every weekend he is there. . My son has to watch her practices. And if she does anything remotely well in the 6 yr old soccer, it is celebrated as a family all weekend.

meanwhile, if my son calls to tell her how he fought for 3 hours and won a huge match, it is met with "oh that's nice.  Did you know your sister did XYZ"

So in my house, I have more time for my son and he comes first. In her home the pecking order is husband who pays the bills, then her, then the daughter, then my son.   But she will never admit this.

So she just says "its too much tennis.. He doesn't want to.  We have plans". etc. Then later my son tells me none of it is true. 

Are you concerned that she is playing favorites by accommodating her daughter's activities that she shares with her current husband?

In case of divorce or a remarriage, it's not always out of the question that parents will do that with their children. 

That may be part of the problem.

 

Edited November 24, 2022 by Alpacalia

[IrinaM]

4 hours ago, Caliguy2349 said:

The first Thursday she puts him in a dentist appointment instead. The next Thursday she says he has an eye appointment.  The next Thursday I get a letter from her attorney saying she doesn't have to take him.

Is it possible that there was somewhat of a communication issue on your side with how you handled these two routine appointments? Were you accusatory or angry towards her? I'm just wondering if maybe that's why she had her attorney write a letter.

The truth is, her attorney is correct. It's not part of your divorce agreement that your ex take him to tennis practice on any particular schedule.

Divorce is brutal on children. They have to divide their time between two residences, which is exhausting. I don't see how it would be realistic for a child to have six-day-per-week involvement in extracurricular sports while dividing their time between two homes and family units.

[Caliguy2349]

19 minutes ago, IrinaM said:

Is it possible that there was somewhat of a communication issue on your side with how you handled these two routine appointments? Were you accusatory or angry towards her? I'm just wondering if maybe that's why she had her attorney write a letter.

The truth is, her attorney is correct. It's not part of your divorce agreement that your ex take him to tennis practice on any particular schedule.

Divorce is brutal on children. They have to divide their time between two residences, which is exhausting. I don't see how it would be realistic for a child to have six-day-per-week involvement in extracurricular sports while dividing their time between two homes and family units.

Absolutely not. She scheduled it as she knows my child wanted to go. So she bought time in letting him down, instead of just saying "hey, you are never allowed to attend on Thursday's"

There are kids in his academy that have divorced parents! It is not that hard. Raising kids takes effort, and sometimes putting them first. 

When I married my ex wife she told me that her mother never let her take ballet lessons as a10 year old because she was self absorbed. .  She was literally crying about this at the age of 30! Now she is doing the same to my son. 

[Lisa]

Thread closed due to high number of hostile posts

Edited November 24, 2022 by Lisa