tarsoo Posted November 13, 2022 Posted November 13, 2022 I go to a cosmedic medicine clinic for removing skin tags etc and there is a hot receptionist there that stares at me sometimes. I have talked to her a little bit only but unfortunately there is absolutely no chance of me asking her for her number or anything as the waiting area is always full of clients. Will finding her on social media and messaging her be too creepy? Please help me hit on her in a non-creepy way without having to going into the clinic and asking her out
Wiseman2 Posted November 13, 2022 Posted November 13, 2022 19 minutes ago, tarsoo said: I go to a cosmedic medicine clinic for removing skin tags etc and there is a hot receptionist there . Please help me hit on her in a non-creepy way It's ok to have a crush but it's unethical for her to date patients. Do not stalk her on social media as that would seem creepy. Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting women that way. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 13, 2022 Posted November 13, 2022 Yes, it would seem creepy to seek her out on social media. You don't even know if this woman is single, and it could get you banned from the clinic if she complains to her superiors about you. Just don't go there. 2
glows Posted November 13, 2022 Posted November 13, 2022 She may be looking at you because she can feel you staring at her. Yes, it is creepy looking her up on social media. You’re a patient and she’s an employee. Leave this alone if you respect anything to do with someone’s profession, career or job. 2
Author tarsoo Posted November 13, 2022 Author Posted November 13, 2022 I have a very disappointing experience with online dating. Hence I prefer and I am trying to find beautiful women in real life. The fact that it's always unethical or creepy to connect to a woman in this hectic fast pace world is quite sad. Thanks but I am not willing to get online, like every low selfesteem guy does.
Wiseman2 Posted November 13, 2022 Posted November 13, 2022 54 minutes ago, tarsoo said: I have a very disappointing experience with online dating. Hence I prefer and I am trying to find beautiful women in real life. Ok. If you prefer ways to meet women in real life, join some groups and clubs, volunteer, take some classes and courses. Broaden your social horizons. It's inappropriate to try to pick up women at their workplace. 1
Alpacalia Posted November 13, 2022 Posted November 13, 2022 1 hour ago, tarsoo said: The fact that it's always unethical or creepy to connect to a woman in this hectic fast pace world is quite sad. If talking to a woman is creepy, we really have lost touch. Many people are taught to keep to themselves, shut up, and do not ask out people they don't know or only through very specific means or are friends with. That being said. The decision not to approach someone who has their nose buried in the newspaper is entirely understandable and especially in a medical setting where you are a patient. If she is a receptionist and you're just there to "hit on" her, don't bother. There is always a level of risk to get to know someone. If you come across a woman that interests you if you're out and about, give them *your* phone number and assure them that if they don't call you, that's totally fine. Then leave it at that.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 13, 2022 Posted November 13, 2022 3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: It's inappropriate to try to pick up women at their workplace. This. OP, it's not the context to try to approach a woman. That is the part that make it creepy. 1
smackie9 Posted November 13, 2022 Posted November 13, 2022 Say hi? Introduce yourself, and ask how her day is going? 1
Alpacalia Posted November 13, 2022 Posted November 13, 2022 (edited) Would it be possible for you to attend a church dance or a country dance event in your area and maybe meet a woman that way as well? Edited November 13, 2022 by Alpacalia
Lotsgoingon Posted November 13, 2022 Posted November 13, 2022 (edited) Hold on, your first step is to get a conversation going with this person. One, for practice, two to figure out if she is worth being interested in. And three, if there is any potential, it should emerge likely from her end--since she's working at her professional position is at stake. Start a conversation ... start with anything. The weather. Sports. Something funny about the office. Otherwise you're going from a smile to trying to ask someone out ... which is sorta like going from jogging a mile ... to signing up for a marathon. Oh and next time someone looks at you and you're interested ... look back (which you say you did) and smile. Simply smile. Most likely she'll also smile ... and then throw out some kind of conversation piece. And here's the thing. You really should want to throw out a conversational line if you are really interested. I converse with all kinds of workers but I don't ever ask the out. But ... I have noticed that there is a fine line--really not that much of a line--between friendly conversation and really the first step of getting to know someone. Edited November 13, 2022 by Lotsgoingon 1
mark clemson Posted November 13, 2022 Posted November 13, 2022 12 hours ago, tarsoo said: I have a very disappointing experience with online dating. Hence I prefer and I am trying to find beautiful women in real life. The fact that it's always unethical or creepy to connect to a woman in this hectic fast pace world is quite sad. Thanks but I am not willing to get online You sound a bit fussy and inflexible. Perhaps that is part of your issue finding women? That said, I agree that RL is better when possible. I hear a lot about dysfunctional folks and what you might call "perma-shoppers" in OLD. Suggest you try Meet-Ups, and not just the "Singles" ones. When I used to go to them (pre-COVID) there seemed to be a certain % of folks that were singles looking for potential partners at many of the events.
basil67 Posted November 13, 2022 Posted November 13, 2022 (edited) 13 hours ago, tarsoo said: The fact that it's always unethical or creepy to connect to a woman in this hectic fast pace world is quite sad. It's only creepy to slide into the DMs of someone who is paid to talk with you. It's not creepy to make a face to face connection with a woman who you meet socially. Remember that the reason it's viewed as creepy is because she will feel unsafe with you having made an uninvited crossover from her professional life to her personal life. Avoiding making people feel unsafe is good...not sad. Edited November 13, 2022 by basil67 1
Lotsgoingon Posted November 14, 2022 Posted November 14, 2022 It is not unethical to connect to a woman. But looking at a woman and not talking to her and skipping to assuming she's interested in a date isn't very attractive. It's actually weird to people--and not just women. I've had a crush or two send me a note without first talking to me. Very odd. I don't know the person well (even though I made a good impression from a distance), I haven't talked to them. And yet they are crushing! Very strange and awkward. Relationships emerge. You have to start somewhere. Start with conversing. There will be many times the other person isn't interested in talking or you're bored by them or they're bored with you. There will be times when you realize you can't stand the way the person thinks once you hear them talk. Totally OK. You connect at the level at which things work.
Alpacalia Posted November 14, 2022 Posted November 14, 2022 I was initially concerned to receive a direct message from someone in a leadership position associated with the school that found me through social media. I thought it odd and him a bit brazen initially. It turned out we had a pleasant coffee date without any unpleasant surprises. That you came here to get outside opinions first is a good sign. Keep in mind that she is at work and being watched by bosses/managers/supervisors or even other customers and it's not professional for her to be putting her work aside to spend time arranging or accepting dates. I think the key in any setting is giving her an out and accepting her response and not making her feel cornered. That's creepy. Keep it quick and simple. If she says no, you say okay have a good one and get on with things. It's when you stay longer than appropriate that you're definitely going to make her uncomfortable. I also agree that it's good to broaden your horizons but don't feel that you have to be confined to meeting someone a certain way. People meet, date or get married through all sorts of avenues. It is important not to limit yourself to online dating alone either. I mean, just reading and hearing some of the stories online it's not all rainbows and lollipops either.
Wiseman2 Posted November 14, 2022 Posted November 14, 2022 On 11/13/2022 at 2:09 AM, tarsoo said: there is a hot receptionist there Please help me hit on her It's best not to pester women at work. Remember that she is there for a paycheck and it's her job to interact and be pleasant to you. There's plenty of other opportunities to interact with women socially.
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