basil67 Posted November 14, 2022 Posted November 14, 2022 If you are involved in buying her a mattress, make sure she's there testing them all with you. No sense buying a good mattress which is too hard or too soft for her liking.
Author ironpony Posted November 15, 2022 Author Posted November 15, 2022 12 hours ago, glows said: You don’t want both of you ordering new mattresses. For the sake of simplicity and avoiding a double mattress fiasco I think it’s best to speak with her and ask her if this is a good idea. You both can split the cost if it’s too much or your family thinks it’s too expensive. I personally don’t think it’s a good idea. Anything to do with her place is her responsibility. Don’t get trapped into the idea of thinking you’ve contributed to her apartment and are owed living there in the future. You’re not playing house here or living together, just dating. I would go with jewellery or a watch or something more simple, nothing to do with her apartment. Oh okay. It was not my intention to make her think I was owed living there, and I just wanted to do something for her back since she was having problems with it. But she also suggested kitchen items as well, unless that counts as part of the apartment? She is not much of a jewelry person.
Author ironpony Posted November 15, 2022 Author Posted November 15, 2022 23 hours ago, glows said: Why can’t she buy her own mattress? You’re both not living together so leave these things for later on. She should be able to afford her own mattress and basic essentials. Oh she had car problems and had to spend money on that, or maybe she is just being thrifty with her mattress choices, she is looking at so far.
stillafool Posted November 15, 2022 Posted November 15, 2022 Maybe a heated mattress pad would help her back.
Author ironpony Posted November 16, 2022 Author Posted November 16, 2022 Oh okay thank you very much. I will look into that as an option. Thanks!
Author ironpony Posted November 22, 2022 Author Posted November 22, 2022 Well I ended up buying half of her mattress when she went to go buy one, because I really wanted to give her something for Christmas, and felt here is the opportunity. But does it come off as tacky, if I only paying for half of a Christmas gift?
basil67 Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 8 minutes ago, ironpony said: Well I ended up buying half of her mattress when she went to go buy one, because I really wanted to give her something for Christmas, and felt here is the opportunity. But does it come off as tacky, if I only paying for half of a Christmas gift? It's a bit late to be asking this question now that you've already spent the money.
Wiseman2 Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 2 hours ago, ironpony said: I only paying for half of a Christmas gift? Well it's not really a Christmas gift since you stay there and sleep on the mattress. You're just chipping in as you should. Think of it as contributing to the cost of living since you stay at her place but she can't stay at yours. Think of something nice for her for Christmas. Because buying a household thing that you wanted anyway because you thought her mattress was too uncomfortable for you is not a "gift".
Author ironpony Posted November 22, 2022 Author Posted November 22, 2022 4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Well it's not really a Christmas gift since you stay there and sleep on the mattress. You're just chipping in as you should. Think of it as contributing to the cost of living since you stay at her place but she can't stay at yours. Think of something nice for her for Christmas. Because buying a household thing that you wanted anyway because you thought her mattress was too uncomfortable for you is not a "gift". but at what point did I say the mattress was for me? I already have my own mattress and my own bed, so at what point did I say it was for me?
stillafool Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 An electric heating pad with moisture is good for the back.
smackie9 Posted November 23, 2022 Posted November 23, 2022 On 11/14/2022 at 5:32 AM, ironpony said: She is looking at mattresses and prices now, and so am I, if I get her one. She was also hinting the other day, about how she would like some cooking instruments for the kitchen for Christmas. I could get her those, but I thought that her back is more important for a gift, since it's been hurting, if I should just stick with that? If that is what she is hinting at, that is what she wants! Let this back thing go!
stillafool Posted November 23, 2022 Posted November 23, 2022 4 hours ago, smackie9 said: If that is what she is hinting at, that is what she wants! Let this back thing go! Mattress sets are expensive so is she really hinting for you to buy her a set or is this something you're doing because you don't have other ideas. My Grandpa told us girls to never buy a man a pair of shoes because he'll walk away and told the boys never to buy a woman a bed because another man will sleep in it. I'd get her a cookware set. You said "cooking instruments" are you talking about pots and pans or cooking utensils? 1
Gaeta Posted November 23, 2022 Posted November 23, 2022 On 11/22/2022 at 7:23 AM, ironpony said: but at what point did I say the mattress was for me? I already have my own mattress and my own bed, so at what point did I say it was for me? Do you not sleep in her bed? I don't think you should count that as a Xmas gift. You paid half because she's you're gf of 2 years and you care for her back.
glows Posted November 24, 2022 Posted November 24, 2022 On 11/21/2022 at 9:18 PM, ironpony said: Well I ended up buying half of her mattress when she went to go buy one, because I really wanted to give her something for Christmas, and felt here is the opportunity. But does it come off as tacky, if I only paying for half of a Christmas gift? Did you feel pressured in any way or was this on impulse? I don’t think it’s tacky. A gift can be anything you want it to be. Did she thank you or was she even aware this was her Xmas gift?
Author ironpony Posted November 24, 2022 Author Posted November 24, 2022 6 hours ago, stillafool said: Mattress sets are expensive so is she really hinting for you to buy her a set or is this something you're doing because you don't have other ideas. My Grandpa told us girls to never buy a man a pair of shoes because he'll walk away and told the boys never to buy a woman a bed because another man will sleep in it. I'd get her a cookware set. You said "cooking instruments" are you talking about pots and pans or cooking utensils? That's true. God point. I could ger her a necklace with a photo of us inside, if that's better? 1
Author ironpony Posted November 24, 2022 Author Posted November 24, 2022 4 hours ago, Gaeta said: Do you not sleep in her bed? I don't think you should count that as a Xmas gift. You paid half because she's you're gf of 2 years and you care for her back. Oh well it's just I have gotten her appliances for her health before as gifts. For example for her birthday, I got her a waterpick, unless that was a bad gift?
Gaeta Posted November 24, 2022 Posted November 24, 2022 10 hours ago, ironpony said: Oh well it's just I have gotten her appliances for her health before as gifts. For example for her birthday, I got her a waterpick, unless that was a bad gift? It depends on the person, does she like those type of gifts? All my life I heard my mother tell my dad to not buy her kitchen appliances for her b'day or Xmas because they're not gifts in her eyes, personally I really like kitchen appliances, cutlery, casseroles. You must know what makes her happy after 2 years dating. 2
stillafool Posted November 24, 2022 Posted November 24, 2022 11 hours ago, ironpony said: Oh well it's just I have gotten her appliances for her health before as gifts. For example for her birthday, I got her a waterpick, unless that was a bad gift? Did she ask or hint that she wanted a waterpik? I'm sure she appreciated it but it could insinuate she has bad dental health or bad breath. She's still your gf so I doubt she took it that way.
Author ironpony Posted December 2, 2022 Author Posted December 2, 2022 (edited) On 11/24/2022 at 8:57 AM, stillafool said: Did she ask or hint that she wanted a waterpik? I'm sure she appreciated it but it could insinuate she has bad dental health or bad breath. She's still your gf so I doubt she took it that way. Oh well she was having some cavity problems, and that was the reason, as I thought it woud help with that as it helped me with preventing as many future cavities compared to what I had before. So I thought it would help her as well too likely therefore. Her breath is good though. Edited December 2, 2022 by ironpony
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