ironpony Posted November 12, 2022 Posted November 12, 2022 My gf has been having back problems and I wanted to get her a Christmas gift to make it feel better but I am not sure what ideas would be good for that specifically. Does anyone have any? Thank you very much for any advice on this!
Brian1223 Posted November 12, 2022 Posted November 12, 2022 Depending on what specific issue she is having with her back, you could book her a massage or a voucher to a local masseuse for her to book at her own leisure.
basil67 Posted November 12, 2022 Posted November 12, 2022 If she's got a sore back, she needs something now. Not at Christmas time. Hopefully she's seeing a physiotherapist. I'd got for something which is more personal. Does she have a favourite clothing store? Or like a particular kind of jewellery?
Author ironpony Posted November 12, 2022 Author Posted November 12, 2022 42 minutes ago, Brian1223 said: Depending on what specific issue she is having with her back, you could book her a massage or a voucher to a local masseuse for her to book at her own leisure. That's true, I could I just thought maybe I would get her something that she would use over and over again rather than just once. Her mattress of many years is making her back really sore and it's very worn out since she had it since she was a kid. I thought about getting her a new matrice, but I was told by friends and family that is too much money to spend on a gift since the good ones are costly. But if that's true, I thought maybe I can get her something else therefore, if I shouldn't spend as much.
Author ironpony Posted November 12, 2022 Author Posted November 12, 2022 (edited) 1 minute ago, basil67 said: If she's got a sore back, she needs something now. Not at Christmas time. Hopefully she's seeing a physiotherapist. I'd got for something which is more personal. Does she have a favourite clothing store? Or like a particular kind of jewellery? Oh well I thought I would get her the Christmas gift now, if I can get her something for her back, but it will just be an early Christmas present, which I thought would be fine. I will ask her if she considered a physiotherapist, or if her doctor recommended one. Edited November 12, 2022 by ironpony
basil67 Posted November 12, 2022 Posted November 12, 2022 (edited) The only reason to buy her an early Xmas gift would be if she really wanted a particular thing right now but couldn't afford it. Or perhaps it tickets to an event which would have finished by Xmas. But in this case, she hasn't said she needs something. And even if she did need something , it would be nicer to buy it now and just give it to her.... and still give her a personal xmas gift. You don't have to wait for special days to give a gift. Edited November 12, 2022 by basil67 1
Wiseman2 Posted November 12, 2022 Posted November 12, 2022 Get her something she would enjoy for Christmas and let her see her doctor about her back. There's no need to combine the two. 2
Author ironpony Posted November 12, 2022 Author Posted November 12, 2022 5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Get her something she would enjoy for Christmas and let her see her doctor about her back. There's no need to combine the two. I can do that. It's just I'm not sure what she wants or would like for Christmas and she doesn't know either she said so I was kind of stumped and thought maybe I should do something for her back since she was having problems there.
smackie9 Posted November 12, 2022 Posted November 12, 2022 Here's an idea...make your own gift basket with different massage oils, stuff to put in her bath to soak, scented candles and a gift certificate to a day spa. Spas offer different packages, even for couples 2
Alvi Posted November 12, 2022 Posted November 12, 2022 10 hours ago, ironpony said: That's true, I could I just thought maybe I would get her something that she would use over and over again rather than just once. Her mattress of many years is making her back really sore and it's very worn out since she had it since she was a kid. I thought about getting her a new matrice, but I was told by friends and family that is too much money to spend on a gift since the good ones are costly. But if that's true, I thought maybe I can get her something else therefore, if I shouldn't spend as much. Well, the both of you could go mattress shopping together if you end up moving in together. What does her doctor says about her back pain and the solutions for it? No, don't get her anything for her back unless it is specified by her doctor and she really wants get it by Christmas. 10 hours ago, basil67 said: And even if she did need something , it would be nicer to buy it now and just give it to her.... and still give her a personal xmas gift. You don't have to wait for special days to give a gift. This is so true. You don't have to give her gifts only on Christmas and her B-day. Gifts could be given at any time without any special occasion. Give her something sweet and/or memorable. Have you asked her what she actually wants for Christmas?
seapebbles Posted November 12, 2022 Posted November 12, 2022 A good mattress will be expensive, so instead you could buy a mattress topper. A friend of mine was having back issues and purchased a memory foam mattress topper for her old mattress. She said it helped her back pain the first night she used it. 1
Wiseman2 Posted November 12, 2022 Posted November 12, 2022 7 hours ago, ironpony said: I can do that. It's just I'm not sure what she wants or would like for Christmas and she doesn't know either she said so I was kind of stumped and thought maybe I should do something for her back since she was having problems there. Ask your mother or female friends. Pay attention to her and what she seems to enjoy. While you mean well, practical and household gifts are not for dating . Even married women do not want stuff like vacuum cleaners or washing machines or bedsheets as "gifts". Stick with something more romantic and personal.
Els Posted November 12, 2022 Posted November 12, 2022 I have heard that the Lelo Smartwand is excellent for back massages. The website even shows a woman using it on her back. (I'm only half kidding, by the way. It really does feel good on your back - although it feels better on other parts). 1
AngryGromit Posted November 12, 2022 Posted November 12, 2022 16 hours ago, ironpony said: Does anyone have any? Tramp Stamp tattoo, may not make her feel better, but would be good for me, huge turn on. On a more serious note, you could get her a TENS Unit, to help eliminate the sensation of pain, better yet get her both a Tramp Stamp and TENS Unit.
basil67 Posted November 12, 2022 Posted November 12, 2022 15 hours ago, ironpony said: That's true, I could I just thought maybe I would get her something that she would use over and over again rather than just once. Her mattress of many years is making her back really sore and it's very worn out since she had it since she was a kid. I thought about getting her a new matrice, but I was told by friends and family that is too much money to spend on a gift since the good ones are costly. But if that's true, I thought maybe I can get her something else therefore, if I shouldn't spend as much. Sorry, I missed the mattress comment. IS the mattress making her back sore, or is this an assumption she has? Not that a new mattress would go astray...but this is something she should sort out for herself. Or perhaps go halves in a quality new one when you move in. Kindly, if your friends and family have already told you this is too much, why are you asking us? Do you not trust their advice? 1
Lotsgoingon Posted November 13, 2022 Posted November 13, 2022 You want to be listening to what your gf says she wants and then to follow up on that ... and the gift might have nothing to do with her back. I worry like others that you are trying to be a parent here or a doctor by getting something for her back. If she needs something for her back and you guys have a real relationship then she would state this need loudly and clearly.
glows Posted November 13, 2022 Posted November 13, 2022 (edited) Massage her if you’re good at it. I don’t recommend any chicken fingers. I once dated someone who could not massage if his life depended on it - very unsatisfying. Or, as Smackie mentioned a care package is so thoughtful. Most of all, get her what she likes and listen to her if she needs to talk about her back. Edited November 13, 2022 by glows
Author ironpony Posted November 14, 2022 Author Posted November 14, 2022 On 11/12/2022 at 3:38 PM, basil67 said: Sorry, I missed the mattress comment. IS the mattress making her back sore, or is this an assumption she has? Not that a new mattress would go astray...but this is something she should sort out for herself. Or perhaps go halves in a quality new one when you move in. Kindly, if your friends and family have already told you this is too much, why are you asking us? Do you not trust their advice? Oh well sometimes I feel my friends and family worry about me too much and what I do, so I was wondering, if them telling me not to buy her a mattress is an over-reaction or not. Her current mattress is pretty bad though, it hurts when I share her bed with her so I know what she is talking about.
glows Posted November 14, 2022 Posted November 14, 2022 Why can’t she buy her own mattress? You’re both not living together so leave these things for later on. She should be able to afford her own mattress and basic essentials.
Wiseman2 Posted November 14, 2022 Posted November 14, 2022 (edited) 6 hours ago, ironpony said: Her current mattress is pretty bad though, it hurts when I share her bed with her Is your concern for you or for her? Gifts are supposed to be something nice for the other person, not to make your sleepovers more comfortable for yourself. Gifts are also not welcome if they are trojan horses, meaning a hidden agenda, such as more sex or your personal needs. Edited November 14, 2022 by Wiseman2 1
Author ironpony Posted November 14, 2022 Author Posted November 14, 2022 5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Is your concern for you or for her? Gifts are supposed to be something nice for the other person, not to make your sleepovers more comfortable for yourself. Gifts are also not welcome if they are trojan horses, meaning a hidden agenda, such as more sex or your personal needs. Oh my concern is for her and her back. I was just addressing that it's not an assumption on my part, since one of the responses, asked if it was an assumption :).
Author ironpony Posted November 14, 2022 Author Posted November 14, 2022 She is looking at mattresses and prices now, and so am I, if I get her one. She was also hinting the other day, about how she would like some cooking instruments for the kitchen for Christmas. I could get her those, but I thought that her back is more important for a gift, since it's been hurting, if I should just stick with that?
glows Posted November 14, 2022 Posted November 14, 2022 (edited) You don’t want both of you ordering new mattresses. For the sake of simplicity and avoiding a double mattress fiasco I think it’s best to speak with her and ask her if this is a good idea. You both can split the cost if it’s too much or your family thinks it’s too expensive. I personally don’t think it’s a good idea. Anything to do with her place is her responsibility. Don’t get trapped into the idea of thinking you’ve contributed to her apartment and are owed living there in the future. You’re not playing house here or living together, just dating. I would go with jewellery or a watch or something more simple, nothing to do with her apartment. Edited November 14, 2022 by glows 1
Mike B. Posted November 14, 2022 Posted November 14, 2022 Something for an injury or medical condition doesn't strike me as a great Christmas gift. I think it would be similar getting her a vacuum cleaner. How about just doing something thoughtful for her back such as massages or something just as a random gift but get her another cool gift for Christmas. 1
Gaeta Posted November 14, 2022 Posted November 14, 2022 Buy her or help her buy a better bed because you love her, you care & and you're generous within your means. No need to buy something too expensive. Look for mattresses on special, sometimes they're half price. Don't make it a xmas gift, get her something more personal for xmas. This is a long term relationship now. Who cares you don't live together, you are committed.
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