normal345 Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Ok, had 4 wonderful dates with a woman, spread out over a week and a half. On the fourth date, I read all the signs of her being very into me. Always looking at me, touching me, complimenting me, and inviting me into her place. We proceed to have sex for the first time, and it is great. She is almost crying, and telling me how good it was. She then keeps asking what I am thinking, how I feel, etc, but I dont say much, kind of joke a bit, but do let her know I enjoy her company, and I am very interested. She tells me how I drive her crazy, she loves kissing me etc etc. So, it is about 2 am, and she has to work early, and she says "you can stay if you like, but I have to get up early." We werent in bed, so i opted to go home, telling her we might not get much sleep, and i wanted her to sleep well. She seemed very cool with this, walked me outside, we kissed for a few minutes, and she asked me to call the next day. So, i see her online, and she just says she is busy. I see her online later, and she ignores me. Then i call, she doesnt answer, or return my call. 3 days later i text her, but get no reply. I finally im her again, and she just says she has been really busy. Now I asked a couple friends, one girl telling me maybe she is busy, just give it time, and another girl telling me she is either playing games, or just not interested? So, any advice? I am definitely not calling again, and at this point just about lost all interest in her. I just wonder have any of you men or women witnessed this before after a fourth date?? Especially when the one doing the ignoring has been the one saying so much, and even making long term plans? I have never in my life had this happen before. We are both in our late 20's.
loony Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 We proceed to have sex for the first time, and it is great. She is almost crying, and telling me how good it was. She then keeps asking what I am thinking, how I feel, etc, but I dont say much, kind of joke a bit, but do let her know I enjoy her company, and I am very interested. She tells me how I drive her crazy, she loves kissing me etc etc. So, it is about 2 am, and she has to work early, and she says "you can stay if you like, but I have to get up early." We werent in bed, so i opted to go home, telling her we might not get much sleep, and i wanted her to sleep well. She seemed very cool with this, walked me outside, we kissed for a few minutes, and she asked me to call the next day. She probably expected you to stay (I assume she really wanted you to stay and she really wanted you to want it as well and was quite disppointed when you didn't, even though she didn't show it) and when you didn't she thought you were not that into her or playing games, so she played hard to get as well. If someone gets so emotional you should get a little bit mushy, too, and not be such a sensible and rational dolt who worries about you two getting enough sleep. Who the hell needs sleep when he's in love. Be aware that this girl seems not to be good with communication and might demand a little bit more attention than you might be prepared to give.
alphamale Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Ok, had 4 wonderful dates with a woman, spread out over a week and a half. mistake #1... four date in 10 days???!! in the beginning you should see a woman once per week at most... Then i call, she doesnt answer, or return my call. mistake #2... 3 days later i text her, but get no reply. mistake #3... I finally im her again, and she just says she has been really busy. mistake #4... Now I asked a couple friends, one girl telling me maybe she is busy, just give it time, and another girl telling me she is either playing games, or just not interested? mistake #5...don't ask females for advice on other females. ask a man. Basically my point here is that you hounded this woman and smothered her too much. You came off as desperate and pathetic and clingy and this is the kiss of death with females. After you banged her you should have waited at least one week to contact her again.
JS17 Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Actually I agree with Loony 110%. She didn't know how to ask for what she wanted and she clearly wanted more of an emotional connection from you after sex. I haven't come across too many women who wanted the men to leave if they were involved (ie. Not a one night stand or FWB situation). It also sounds like sex happened before you were both really ready. It's not fair of her to expect you to read her mind nor did she handle it well at all by ignoring you. If you want to see her again then back off and give her space. When she talks to you again you can try to have an open discussion with her about her actions....if you're still interested in her.
loony Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Alphamale, you shouldn't give advice to people who want a serious relationship...
morrigan Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Be aware that this girl seems not to be good with communication and might demand a little bit more attention than you might be prepared to give. I agree. It was only the fourth date--it was an attraction, not a love affair. It was great sex, and further dating may have eventually led to more, but it was a little early to put any serious overtones on it. I don't thinks she was ready to have sex with you, or at least deal with her feelings afterwards. I personally think she was expecting more of an emotional connection and overreacted about you leaving. If you're not wanting to call her again, then don't.
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