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47 year old BF (long time friend) is temporarily broke and homeless, how long do I support him?

howwouldiknownow22

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howwouldiknownow22 Established Member

howwouldiknownow22

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I am truly in a jam and don't know what or how to think/proceed.  I am hoping for guidance here.  

A former client of mine turned into a long distance friend for the past few years.  He told me he had divorced years ago and was living in Las Vegas and building a family office/investment fund. 

In professional mastermind groups, he was always very well respected and I thought he was extremely smart, but I also knew he had a binge drinking issue that I witnessed while at some of these events.

We have texted and chatted back and forth for years...and I talked him through some tough times (over the phone) when his brother died etc. 

So, I "get" (let's call him MIKE) and the emotional pain he has.  He has no family...everyone has passed away and then he divorced.  No children.

So, when I told him I had a last minute fundraiser to plan at my home 3 months ago, he offered to come and help and fill the room with some of his investors too.

After he was in town for a few days, he was clear he was interested in a relationship with me and during the time of hanging out with him...and dinners etc. But his level of drinking was shocking to me.And he was consistently leaving me the bill.  I thought...WHY am I paying for this multi millionaire's dinner and bar tabs?  Things didn't make sense.  

So, on the last dinner (he would conveniently disappear to the bathroom when the bill arrived)... I waited for his return.   He acted like he couldn't find his wallet and then I just sat quietly.  He eventually pulled out his wallet and when he ran his credit card it said "insufficient funds".   

So, I pretended not to see...and he pulled out another card.   Same thing.  "insufficient funds".

I pulled out my card and paid.  When we got in the car, I said, "is everything ok?"  (He was probably 8-10 drinks in by this point) and he said he was going through some tough financial times, but he will be fine.  Everything is "great".

He flew back to Las Vegas and then referred me to a few clients...and we currently share 2 clients.   We were on work calls together with these clients and all seemed to be fine.

However, I began to notice that he would avoid texting me back around 7pm PST and he'd say that he fell asleep early etc. But, seems pretty odd, right?

Long story short, I discovered that he was indeed divorced on paper 3 years ago, but it was only to protect her assets.  

He was/is broke and he never moved out of their house and he was still living like a married couple with her in Las Vegas.

He said that he told her that he was moving on with ME and she threw him out of the house and cut off all access to money.   

Although, it sounds like they have none overall.  At least liquid...

He ended up flying to my state for a family office meeting and told me this and that he's homeless.  He has no access to money.  No credit cards and wanted to "sleep on my couch" after the conference that I was already attending due to our mutual clients.  

I told him that I couldn't allow that because I have my 17 year old son half of the time, but I'd help him as much as I could.

In the meantime, I called another friend who knows "Mike" well and asked what was going on ...and he told me that "Mike" does have millions COMING in a big investment deal next year, but right now, he is dying on the vine.  

He said that he THOUGHT "Mike's car was repossessed as well and he is considering selling shares of some of his real estate to survive.  

Over the last 2 weeks, I have allowed him to stay with me on the days I don't have my son and I've paid for his hotel every other night.  I have paid for all his meals and allowed him to use my car.

I have taken him to nice dinners etc and he's drunk BOTTLES of wine on my tab.  He told me he wants to eventually marry me and when his investments come in, he will repay me with many things etc.  

I have confirmed through outside sources that he truly is respected in his field and that these companies exist...and even the clients we share...clearly think very highly of him.

However, I am very concerned because I don't understand how someone could have NO money and be homeless! 

I've talked to his friend/business partner for the past few days confidentially and he's asked me to help "Mike" because he says he will get paid from a current investment/client early next week to the tune of 100k.   But, until then, he has nothing. (Of course he never told him he's broke out of fear/embarrassment) 

Personally, I'm not well.  I have been extremely stressed and overwhelmed.  I have worried so much for him and for my own well being.  I've been drinking daily, as well and end up feeling terrible the next day...

My money is being depleted fast.  In the past month, "Mike" has cost me about $7k because he also invited me to the professional conference in my state for 3 days so I could meet "potential clients".  I haven't secured any new clients from that yet -- but he left me with the hotel bill and dinner tabs.

I have no idea how he can be HOMELESS and without money for food etc and also raising capital for very prominent founders/companies.  It is mind boggling to me.

Bottom line, the reason he's not calling and asking anyone ELSE for money and help is because it would ruin his reputation with his colleagues.   So, I am trying to help him as much as I can.

I love him as a person.  But, he's lied countless times to me.  He's taken money and continues to do so...and he's a binge drinker.

I reached out to his wife/ex wife and left a message and text.  She didn't reply.  

Obviously, I had no idea I was getting involved with someone who was still very much attached to another woman.  

He is here in my house all day because he has nowhere else to go.

I'm not sure how to handle any of this.....I had a business meeting yesterday and was gone for a few hours and I realized it was a great break.  I have been divorced and living alone for the past 2 years and maybe I'm stuck in my ways, but it's really hard to have your BF in your house 24/7....and also having to pick up after him, drop off his dry cleaning....make sure he has a ride back and forth to the hotel (that I'm paying for) when my son is with me.  

It's a lot.  And this morning, I am have considered ending things completely with him.  I will miss him, but I think this is just too much to deal with.   And while I know he is so charismatic and eloquent in professional settings.... he is also the guy who I can't get out of my house and who isn't flushing the toilet!  

Would appreciate advice on my next steps.   

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, howwouldiknownow22 said:

I have taken him to nice dinners etc and he's drunk BOTTLES of wine on my tab. 

He may be a friend, but don't enable him. Don't let someone with a drinking problem drive your car or move in. He is parasitic at this point. There are plenty of resources for someone with homelessness, alcohol problems, etc., so refer him to those.

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howwouldiknownow22 Established Member

howwouldiknownow22

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9 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

He may be a friend, but don't enable him. Don't let someone with a drinking problem drive your car or move in. He is parasitic at this point. There are plenty of resources for someone with homelessness, alcohol problems, etc., so refer him to those.

I suggested on Sunday that we begin a 30 day NO DRINKING plan starting yesterday...  but after I got home from my meeting he was all dressed for dinner and said let's grab some food!  He asked if we could order a bottle of wine and just split it ...and no other alcohol.  I said ok...and fortunately, I THINK that's all he drank yesterday...  but he could easily be hiding alcohol in his luggage.  I don't know.  

Do I break it off completely?  Or just say, "hey, tonight, my son is coming back.  And you said you were getting paid today (Tuesday he said SOME of the payments were coming in) ... are you ok to get an air bnb?"   Then the problem is...he doesn't have a car.  So he keeps asking me to pick him up everywhere he stays.

Since my location is one where you need a car to get around...I think it's possible he will leave for another city like NYC or Miami.  He was talking about that as an option before he asked to come here...   and THAT will be hard.  It's very possible I will worry that I made a mistake etc.  

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, howwouldiknownow22 said:

Do I break it off completely?

Yes there's BnB and Uber. Homeless shelters, AA, detox/rehab and many other programs that would help rather than enable him. 

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BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
Posted
40 minutes ago, howwouldiknownow22 said:

Would appreciate advice on my next steps.   

Run, don’t walk, away from this guy. And that includes all his so-called “investors.”

If you are willing to spend your hard earned money on a married alcoholic - he has demonstrated that he has no problem taking it. You need to work on boundaries, because you are at risk of losing everything.

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howwouldiknownow22 Established Member

howwouldiknownow22

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Just now, BaileyB said:

Run, don’t walk, away from this guy. And that includes all his so-called “investors.”

If you are willing to spend your hard earned money on a married alcoholic - he has demonstrated that he has no problem taking it. You need to work on boundaries, because you are at risk of losing everything.

You are absolutely right.  I see that... and I think that's what scares me most.  I have a solid business...and much of this has already harmed my mental health and my finances.  He keeps talking about how the clients he's introduced me to...are world class.. and yes, they are.  But, you know what...they don't even pay their bills like my CURRENT clients...  they seem cheap and stingy!  

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
27 minutes ago, howwouldiknownow22 said:

 It's very possible I will worry that I made a mistake etc.  

A mistake about what?

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, howwouldiknownow22 said:

You are absolutely right.  I see that... and I think that's what scares me most.  I have a solid business...and much of this has already harmed my mental health and my finances.  He keeps talking about how the clients he's introduced me to...are world class.. and yes, they are.  But, you know what...they don't even pay their bills like my CURRENT clients...  they seem cheap and stingy!  

Why have you stood by so long and accepted this?

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howwouldiknownow22 Established Member

howwouldiknownow22

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7 minutes ago, stillafool said:

A mistake about what?

about letting go of him as a romantic partner.  However, I see that long term (even if he comes into his millions)...will not end well for me...  even trust is an issue.  He was LIVING w his ex and I had to find out on my OWN.  He lied repeatedly.  He said it was because he was "embarrassed"...

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted (edited)
10 minutes ago, howwouldiknownow22 said:

about letting go of him as a romantic partner.  However, I see that long term (even if he comes into his millions)...will not end well for me...  even trust is an issue.  He was LIVING w his ex and I had to find out on my OWN.  He lied repeatedly.  He said it was because he was "embarrassed"...

Your aren't losing anything and tbh, it's doubtful he's going to come into millions.  He's using you and you're letting him.  Why did you agree to order a bottle of wine when his drinking bothers you?  Stop paying for his drinking.  Let him find his own transportation and stop being his Uber driver.  He's using you and I bet you aren't the first female he's used.  Tell him to go back and live with his ex as he was before.

Edited by stillafool
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howwouldiknownow22 Established Member

howwouldiknownow22

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14 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Your aren't losing anything and tbh, it's doubtful he's going to come into millions.  He's using you and you're letting him.  Why did you agree to order a bottle of wine when his drinking bothers you?  Stop paying for his drinking.  Let him find his own transportation and stop being his Uber driver.  He's using you and I bet you aren't the first female he's used.  Tell him to go back and live with his ex as he was before.

I have confirmed that he will come into the money...but he may already be over leveraged that he will blow it all quickly.  IDK.  I just feel in shock, tbh.  I can't believe that I am in this situation with someone that has immersed himself in my life so much ...  

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted

I only read half of your story because it was too painfull to read.

He's not your friend, he's a user,  manipulator & a liar, no wonder he has no one in his life. Why do you put up with this? And i'm not even getting into his alcoholism!! Girl c'mon!! You're smarter than that! Get rid of him.

 

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howwouldiknownow22 Established Member

howwouldiknownow22

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Posted
Just now, Gaeta said:

I only read half of your story because it was too painfull to read.

He's not your friend, he's a user,  manipulator & a liar, no wonder he has no one in his life. Why do you put up with this? And i'm not even getting into his alcoholism!! Girl c'mon!! You're smarter than that! Get rid of him.

 

Thanks @Gaeta!  I hear you.. I'm really glad I came here to this objective advice.  I just got too buried in my emotional attachment and desire to help.  But, it's def not a wise plan... that's for sure.  

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted (edited)
14 minutes ago, howwouldiknownow22 said:

I have confirmed that he will come into the money...but he may already be over leveraged that he will blow it all quickly.  IDK.  I just feel in shock, tbh.  I can't believe that I am in this situation with someone that has immersed himself in my life so much ...  

Yep the way he acts if he does get the money it's probably already owed out and he'll probably be left with a tax debt.  Get out now.  A million dollars isn't what it used to be.  As you can see he doesn't mind blowing through your money and has probably blown through the other ladies as well.  He probably has a string of people he's been living off of.  

Edited by stillafool
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poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted
Just now, howwouldiknownow22 said:

Thanks @Gaeta!  I hear you.. I'm really glad I came here to this objective advice.  I just got too buried in my emotional attachment and desire to help.  But, it's def not a wise plan... that's for sure.  

I encourage you to explore, both on your own through reading reputable books on codependency and/or with a qualified therapist, why you allowed yourself to become so emotionally attached to this person and situation.

This is beyond dysfunctional and if you don't gain insight into why you became drawn into this, the pattern will continue. 

It's good you're walking away from this, which I hope is for good, but it's also important to understand why it attracted you, why you have such low standards for yourself, why you feel you don't deserve better.

Good luck. 

 

 

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted (edited)

You sound like a real nice person that does a lot for people...so why wouldn't you feel you should help him out. The problem is that he took advantage of you. People with addictions cheat/lie their way through life. He was leaching off his ex wife until he thought he found someone else (you). That's what people like him do...they do whatever it takes to keep their addiction going. He does need help. Give him the address to a shelter and the number for AA or Al-anon. It's going to be difficult to do, but in cases like this, tough love needs to comes into play.

Edited by smackie9
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howwouldiknownow22 Established Member

howwouldiknownow22

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8 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

You sound like a real nice person that does a lot for people...so why wouldn't you feel you should help him out. The problem is that he took advantage of you. People with addictions cheat/lie their way through life. He was leaching off his ex wife until he thought he found someone else (you). That's what people like him do...they do whatever it takes to keep their addiction going. He does need help. Give him the address to a shelter and the number for AA or Al-anon. It's going to be difficult to do, but in cases like this, tough love needs to comes into play.

Thank you so much for saying this.. it IS hard.  I've known him for years.  I also know many of his colleagues who see him with high regard.  So, that's what causes confusion too...  I just don't know how it could get THIS bad for him?  

And have no access to credit?  It just doesn't make sense..  

I believe I will get him to the air bnb tonight..and then I'll just say I'm sorry.  I can't help further.

The OTHER hard part is ENDING this relationship completely...  but, I hear from all of these posts...that it's imperative that I do that...because I'm sure I'll get suck back in...if I don't.  

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ms.stressed Established Member

ms.stressed

Posted
Posted

It depends on you. If you don't feel right doing, then don't. Don't let feeling sorry for someone keep you from being happy. I give to people I know who need it...I don't give to people who put themselves in their situation. 

 

I help abused people and people who lost jobs and are homeless...runaways...people who are victims due to their circumstances, not their choices. He was cheating on you, not wanting to work or screwing up at work, then you probably need to consider if you're enabling bad habits...and think about walking away.

Acacia98 Established Member

Acacia98

Posted
Posted

In your original post, you say, 

Quote

He said that he told her that he was moving on with ME and she threw him out of the house and cut off all access to money.   

That bit sounds like the kind of thing that someone would say if he wanted to guilt trip you into letting him stay with you. And it worked, didn't it? It probably tugged at your heartstrings because it made you feel like he was fighting for your relationship. At the same time, it must have made you feel like it was at least partly your fault that he lost his living situation. This guy is good (at the manipulation game)!

I've been reading/watching videos about scammers who take advantage of women by posing as rich men who are down on their luck but are just on the cusp of receiving a huge payment or inheritance. So, IMO, this situation you find yourself in rings many alarm bells.

But let's say you don't want to believe that this guy is manipulating or using you. Let's say you are really convinced that he's the real deal and he means well. Even if you're right, you're setting yourself up to fail. You see, the first rule of coping with having no money of your own is cutting down on expenses as much as possible. That means no fancy dinners, no stays at fancy hotels, no downing numerous expensive bottles of wine. If you can't afford it and it's not a necessity, you do without it. If you're going to rely on someone else's generosity, then you have to make an effort not to inconvenience them or to impose on them. If you can't pay them back for their assistance, then you find other ways to help them/support them. And because you are an adult and are responsible for yourself, you roll your sleeves up and go get a job, any job you can, to help you survive until you can figure something more permanent out. This guy isn't doing any of that. For crying out loud, he's not even flushing the toilet. This is not someone who cares about you or your child. He's just thinking about his comfort.

You realize that, being a parent, you cannot afford the luxury of messing up in ways that will affect your health, well-being and financial stability. Your first responsibility is to your child. He is still a minor. He's dependent on you to be financially and emotionally stable, to be present for him. You're shortchanging him by allowing this guy to take over your life so much and to have such a huge negative impact on your well-being. Just keep reminding yourself of your son and your responsibility for him and love for him. That will give you all the motivation you need to do the right thing.

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, Acacia98 said:

In your original post, you say, 

That bit sounds like the kind of thing that someone would say if he wanted to guilt trip you into letting him stay with you. And it worked, didn't it? It probably tugged at your heartstrings because it made you feel like he was fighting for your relationship. At the same time, it must have made you feel like it was at least partly your fault that he lost his living situation. This guy is good (at the manipulation game)!

I've been reading/watching videos about scammers who take advantage of women by posing as rich men who are down on their luck but are just on the cusp of receiving a huge payment or inheritance. So, IMO, this situation you find yourself in rings many alarm bells.

But let's say you don't want to believe that this guy is manipulating or using you. Let's say you are really convinced that he's the real deal and he means well. Even if you're right, you're setting yourself up to fail. You see, the first rule of coping with having no money of your own is cutting down on expenses as much as possible. That means no fancy dinners, no stays at fancy hotels, no downing numerous expensive bottles of wine. If you can't afford it and it's not a necessity, you do without it. If you're going to rely on someone else's generosity, then you have to make an effort not to inconvenience them or to impose on them. If you can't pay them back for their assistance, then you find other ways to help them/support them. And because you are an adult and are responsible for yourself, you roll your sleeves up and go get a job, any job you can, to help you survive until you can figure something more permanent out. This guy isn't doing any of that. For crying out loud, he's not even flushing the toilet. This is not someone who cares about you or your child. He's just thinking about his comfort.

You realize that, being a parent, you cannot afford the luxury of messing up in ways that will affect your health, well-being and financial stability. Your first responsibility is to your child. He is still a minor. He's dependent on you to be financially and emotionally stable, to be present for him. You're shortchanging him by allowing this guy to take over your life so much and to have such a huge negative impact on your well-being. Just keep reminding yourself of your son and your responsibility for him and love for him. That will give you all the motivation you need to do the right thing.

OP ^^^^^^This pretty much sums it up in a nutshell.  Please read and reread this.

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ms.stressed Established Member

ms.stressed

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, howwouldiknownow22 said:

I am truly in a jam and don't know what or how to think/proceed.  I am hoping for guidance here.  

A former client of mine turned into a long distance friend for the past few years.  He told me he had divorced years ago and was living in Las Vegas and building a family office/investment fund. 

In professional mastermind groups, he was always very well respected and I thought he was extremely smart, but I also knew he had a binge drinking issue that I witnessed while at some of these events.

We have texted and chatted back and forth for years...and I talked him through some tough times (over the phone) when his brother died etc. 

So, I "get" (let's call him MIKE) and the emotional pain he has.  He has no family...everyone has passed away and then he divorced.  No children.

So, when I told him I had a last minute fundraiser to plan at my home 3 months ago, he offered to come and help and fill the room with some of his investors too.

After he was in town for a few days, he was clear he was interested in a relationship with me and during the time of hanging out with him...and dinners etc. But his level of drinking was shocking to me.And he was consistently leaving me the bill.  I thought...WHY am I paying for this multi millionaire's dinner and bar tabs?  Things didn't make sense.  

So, on the last dinner (he would conveniently disappear to the bathroom when the bill arrived)... I waited for his return.   He acted like he couldn't find his wallet and then I just sat quietly.  He eventually pulled out his wallet and when he ran his credit card it said "insufficient funds".   

So, I pretended not to see...and he pulled out another card.   Same thing.  "insufficient funds".

I pulled out my card and paid.  When we got in the car, I said, "is everything ok?"  (He was probably 8-10 drinks in by this point) and he said he was going through some tough financial times, but he will be fine.  Everything is "great".

He flew back to Las Vegas and then referred me to a few clients...and we currently share 2 clients.   We were on work calls together with these clients and all seemed to be fine.

However, I began to notice that he would avoid texting me back around 7pm PST and he'd say that he fell asleep early etc. But, seems pretty odd, right?

Long story short, I discovered that he was indeed divorced on paper 3 years ago, but it was only to protect her assets.  

He was/is broke and he never moved out of their house and he was still living like a married couple with her in Las Vegas.

He said that he told her that he was moving on with ME and she threw him out of the house and cut off all access to money.   

Although, it sounds like they have none overall.  At least liquid...

He ended up flying to my state for a family office meeting and told me this and that he's homeless.  He has no access to money.  No credit cards and wanted to "sleep on my couch" after the conference that I was already attending due to our mutual clients.  

I told him that I couldn't allow that because I have my 17 year old son half of the time, but I'd help him as much as I could.

In the meantime, I called another friend who knows "Mike" well and asked what was going on ...and he told me that "Mike" does have millions COMING in a big investment deal next year, but right now, he is dying on the vine.  

He said that he THOUGHT "Mike's car was repossessed as well and he is considering selling shares of some of his real estate to survive.  

Over the last 2 weeks, I have allowed him to stay with me on the days I don't have my son and I've paid for his hotel every other night.  I have paid for all his meals and allowed him to use my car.

I have taken him to nice dinners etc and he's drunk BOTTLES of wine on my tab.  He told me he wants to eventually marry me and when his investments come in, he will repay me with many things etc.  

I have confirmed through outside sources that he truly is respected in his field and that these companies exist...and even the clients we share...clearly think very highly of him.

However, I am very concerned because I don't understand how someone could have NO money and be homeless! 

I've talked to his friend/business partner for the past few days confidentially and he's asked me to help "Mike" because he says he will get paid from a current investment/client early next week to the tune of 100k.   But, until then, he has nothing. (Of course he never told him he's broke out of fear/embarrassment) 

Personally, I'm not well.  I have been extremely stressed and overwhelmed.  I have worried so much for him and for my own well being.  I've been drinking daily, as well and end up feeling terrible the next day...

My money is being depleted fast.  In the past month, "Mike" has cost me about $7k because he also invited me to the professional conference in my state for 3 days so I could meet "potential clients".  I haven't secured any new clients from that yet -- but he left me with the hotel bill and dinner tabs.

I have no idea how he can be HOMELESS and without money for food etc and also raising capital for very prominent founders/companies.  It is mind boggling to me.

Bottom line, the reason he's not calling and asking anyone ELSE for money and help is because it would ruin his reputation with his colleagues.   So, I am trying to help him as much as I can.

I love him as a person.  But, he's lied countless times to me.  He's taken money and continues to do so...and he's a binge drinker.

I reached out to his wife/ex wife and left a message and text.  She didn't reply.  

Obviously, I had no idea I was getting involved with someone who was still very much attached to another woman.  

He is here in my house all day because he has nowhere else to go.

I'm not sure how to handle any of this.....I had a business meeting yesterday and was gone for a few hours and I realized it was a great break.  I have been divorced and living alone for the past 2 years and maybe I'm stuck in my ways, but it's really hard to have your BF in your house 24/7....and also having to pick up after him, drop off his dry cleaning....make sure he has a ride back and forth to the hotel (that I'm paying for) when my son is with me.  

It's a lot.  And this morning, I am have considered ending things completely with him.  I will miss him, but I think this is just too much to deal with.   And while I know he is so charismatic and eloquent in professional settings.... he is also the guy who I can't get out of my house and who isn't flushing the toilet!  

Would appreciate advice on my next steps.   

Leave him alone. My therapist told me I have healer energy...and people like him, pray on people like us, because we enable bad habits, like binge drinking...lack of initiative, inconsideration...everything...leave it alone and move on until they can be the person you need them to be.

Edited by ms.stressed
NuevoYorko Established Member

NuevoYorko

Posted
Posted (edited)

I think it would help you if you rewrite your OP and leave out all of the "stage dressing" details.

To boil it down:

He'd been in town for A FEW DAYS and 

3 hours ago, howwouldiknownow22 said:

his level of drinking was shocking to me.And he was consistently leaving me the bill. 

Then he went home and you found out he's living with his wife, is homeless, has no car,   And, then he came back, to stay in your house all day and let you basically play the role of his concierge and ATM.

It's hard not to get bogged down in the superfluous details but I think that this whole thing between his first visit to this stage  has transpired over the course of a very few weeks.   Maybe 2?

Now you're sick, drinking daily, and spending $7k on this person in a short period of time.

I am sorry you are going through this but to be brutally frank, I don't even understand the point of your post.

What is the potentially positive outcome of allowing this to continue?  Even if he does "come into millions" next year from "a big investment deal" (that's b.s., things don't work that way as you surely know, being in business yourself - we are headed for a recession in 2023 and the stock market has been precarious, but whatever) that won't have any impact on his relationship with his "ex" wife, his alcoholism, his wreckage etc. 

Meanwhile your teenage son is living with you part time? 

Or, your self destructive behavior.

So, what is the "silver lining" you are hoping for here?

 

Edited by NuevoYorko
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mark clemson Established Member

mark clemson

Posted
Posted

I would consider independently confirming these "millions" are actually real if I were you.

Even if they are, there's absolutely no guarantee he'll pay you back out of "decency". Some people simply don't operate that way.

Also, once big-time investors can go fully bust. Happens all the time, due to e.g. leveraging with loans and then economic conditions change.

It sounds to me like you are being exploited by someone with a pathological need to indulge in a lavish lifestyle.

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introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, howwouldiknownow22 said:

But, he's lied countless times to me.  He's taken money and continues to do so...and he's a binge drinker.

So what exactly is appealing about this guy who lies, uses you, and is an alcoholic?

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NuevoYorko Established Member

NuevoYorko

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, introverted1 said:

So what exactly is appealing about this guy who lies, uses you, and is an alcoholic?

Right.  That's my question.  I'm sorry the OP is getting hurt, but I'm not seeing any potential upside here.

They are going to a great deal of effort to allow an unreliable person to destroy their life, and it's not even someone who was very close to them.   Just a "long distance friend" on the phone.   

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