AndrewJ Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Js17 u need to lighten up:lmao: It is an ego thing for sure!!! In my experience the ones i couldn't have i wanted, the ones i could have had i didn't want. Then the ones I could have had turned into the ones i couldnt have, A nevr ending cycle of frustration and mania:D
JS17 Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Js17 u need to lighten up:lmao: I'm going to defend myself when I am being attacked.
Hot Coco Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 JS, here's all I'm saying. Women who have the attitude, and this goes for men who have this attitude towards women, that there are no good men out there send off a certain vibe. I think men can SMELL it a mile away. They're too scared to approach you. Then if they do, women like this have this attitude of "what are you going to do for me" and that the guy has to PROVE themselves to you. Of course they DO but it's a vibe sent out that makes those good ones RUN. THe bad ones could care less if you like them or not really, since they're only out for one thing and it doesn't really matter to them WHAT you think of them. Do you see what I'm saying? You and your friends don't think those kind of guys exist because for you guys they DON'T. No decent guy with any sense is going to go NEAR you guys with that kind of mentality. And like I said for the braves ones who do, they won't stay long when they think they have to bend over backwards to prove themselves to you...they'll just move on to a girl who appears to LIKE men and who doesn't think the worst of them right off the bat. I mean think about it. With you guys, men have 3 strikes against them before they're even out of the batting cage! (Sorry, don't really know baseball so if that's not the way the game works, hopefully you still get my drift!) Who wants to "play a game" where you've lost before you've even started to play?? I wouldn't and neither do the nice guys.
westernxer Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 But the difference between me and you is that I don't think ALL women are like that. I may have briefly thought that out of bitterness or anger at times but I know it's not really true. I don't think good women are a myth, I have simply made poor choices. Amen to that.
Hot Coco Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 JS, hello? No one attacked you! We're just having a discussion here. My comments were observations based on some things you said. And what do you mean you have no choice about who you hang out with? Is someone holding a gun to your head? I don't get it. EVERYONE has a choice, unless they're incarcerated, about who they spend their time with. And you know what? It doesn't matter WHEN or WHY you got that attitude...it just matters that you HAVE IT NOW. So don't complain and say there are NO nice guys. Sheesh!!! What was the main topic here anyway? I've forgotten!
JS17 Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Well I Hot Coco, I didn't think that all men were liars and cheaters when I met my ex. I even thought how lucky I was that I had always had such great boyfriends, especially because I was surrounded by men every day that just wanted sex from women. So then my ex cheated and lied. Then I thought it was an isolated incident. So the next guy I dated...cheated and lied. Went to a friend when I was devastated because he had been devastated over a breakup too, he managed to get his conquest accomplished then stopped speaking to me. So I would say that it is my experience that has changed me....just like a bunch of the men around here.
JS17 Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 And what do you mean you have no choice about who you hang out with? Is someone holding a gun to your head? I don't get it. EVERYONE has a choice, unless they're incarcerated, about who they spend their time with. I consider my job incarceration. So yes I am forced to spend time with men who think that money and sex are the most important thing in life every day.
RecordProducer Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Why do we always want the guys who dont make the effort and guys who dont seem to care about you unless you are in the sack? Why do we balk at the nice guys that we say we want, but obsess over the ones who dont give a flying crap? Not me! Is it just an ego thing? Do we just want what we cant have? I think the basis for wanting what we can't have is the following (for both sexes, but I will use female gender in this example): if a guy wants me then he is not good enough; because why would anyone decent want to be with me? I am worth nothing. But if he shows he doesn't want me, I must be not good enough for him. And he is right cuz I am not good for anyone. So he must be better than me and I want someone better than me. I actually had a friend who would become sick of every guy she would start a relationship with. The moment she would knew he was hers, she would not want him anymore, she would feel low of him. She had issues with low self-esteem. She was very young too. It's actually healthy to long for someone who is better than you. However if you are attracted to someone who treats you like crap, you think you deserve that kind of treatment. In your case, Lishy, it's possible that you're simply intrigued by the guys who are cold to you or because of the lack of guys you fancy, you're simply imagining that you're interested in the guys you can't have. Imagine your prince and how he would ideally behave! Wouldn't he be nice and warm to you? Or would he play head games and not pay attention to you?
ThumbingMyWay Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 So I would say that it is my experience that has changed me....just like a bunch of the men around here. I understand what you are saying.....I kinda feel the same....given my wife cheated and lied....and so have past GF and I know some wifes in our gorup of friends that are cheating too....gives me a bad taste...BUT I also know that not all of them are bad, lying, cheaters.....its just we have been burned and its hard to look past what we experience.... in another life JS17...you and I would be perfect for eachother I would cange your attitude and you would change mine....
tanbark813 Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 And how do you know that I am not having a brief period of thinking these things out of bitterness and anger? I don't even know the answer to that. I don't know. If you are then that's cool. Just make sure it's temporary.
JS17 Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 I understand what you are saying.....I kinda feel the same....given my wife cheated and lied....and so have past GF and I know some wifes in our gorup of friends that are cheating too....gives me a bad taste...BUT I also know that not all of them are bad, lying, cheaters.....its just we have been burned and its hard to look past what we experience.... Thanks TMW, I'm glad you understand, I think there is too much judgement and EGO to get my point across. I know not all men are bad, lying, cheaters. I even went out with one once upon a time I don't think I'm right or wrong about anything here. What I know is my opinion from my experiences.
JS17 Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 I don't know. If you are then that's cool. Just make sure it's temporary. I'm working harder than you know to find out.
Hot Coco Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Well I Hot Coco, I didn't think that all men were liars and cheaters when I met my ex. I even thought how lucky I was that I had always had such great boyfriends, especially because I was surrounded by men every day that just wanted sex from women. So then my ex cheated and lied. Then I thought it was an isolated incident. So the next guy I dated...cheated and lied. Went to a friend when I was devastated because he had been devastated over a breakup too, he managed to get his conquest accomplished then stopped speaking to me. So I would say that it is my experience that has changed me....just like a bunch of the men around here. I meant that you should surround yourself with positive people OUTSIDE of work. I wasn't talking about at work. You really SHOULDN'T let your negative experiences change your attitude that not ALL men are like that. Each person needs to be approached as a brand new slate. You can't have preconceptions like that. The men on here (and it's not ALL of them) are wrong to be that way too in my opinion. You said good guys are a MYTH. That means you think they don't even EXIST. Could it be that you expect all men to cheat and lie? Maybe they're just giving you what you expect. Or they think they can't win with you anyway so they may as well go out and do what you think they'll do anyway. SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY!
Author Lishy Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 IMO....women cant choose....they want it all, but cant have it all. They want a HOT bad boy in the sheets....a rugged handy man to help around the house....a clean cut nice guy to make them feel like a princess and a good man with morals and values to be a father.... ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Thats HIM ...... THATS the man i want - hahahhahahah Yes RP you are right - If i picture my ideal man he is NOTHING like the guy i obsessed over for time! I simply want him because i cant (even tho i had him round last week! ) I want him to want me and he does but he does not pay enough attention - But cut me some slack i was in a 14 year relationship until a few months ago so i have been out of the dating game for years!! I guess 2nd best will not do for me anymore and i think i deserve the best and why should i settle for less!
noclobber Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Why oh why oh why oh why do we always want the guys who dont make the effort and guys who dont seem to care about you unless you are in the sack? Why do we balk at the nice guys that we say we want, but obsess over the ones who dont give a flying crap? When guys chase us like crazy and we are not that interested to start but then we decide we will give it a shot why do they then turn cold? Is it just an ego thing? Do we just want what we cant have? Are we just gluttons for punishment? Tell me pleassssssssssseeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! It looks like Lishy and Star Gazer keep saying that they are attracted to the bad boys and then deny it when other members of the forum say 'yes that's the truth!'
Author Lishy Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 The guy i was talking about isnt bad, he has always been nice and respectful to me and is always pleased to hear from me. The question was why do we want what we cant have and when we can why do we not want it anymore!!! The truth is i am not attracted to many men at all, so when i am its a big deal to me! I had 14 years of feeling like my life was built around someone elses happiness and a bad boy is the last person I would be with (even for a night) I am choosy about who I would hand my number out to, I have my son to consider and he comes first with everything in my life! I can spot a 'wrongun' a mile off and they would never stand a chance.
noclobber Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 guys who dont seem to care about you unless you are in the sack? Why do we balk at the nice guys that we say we want, but obsess over the ones who dont give a flying crap? the above sentences gave me that impression.. well, anyway... i think trying to get what u can't have is not just limited to humans. in my own life i have found myself craving for certain things that were so difficult to get. but once i got them i lost interest in it soon. the things could be some rare mp3s, antique items, art work, whatever.... the same logic applies to people as well. u obsess over a person and once the chase is over and they r urs the charm fades away.. and u move on to somebody new..
Author Lishy Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 I was talking about some of my girlfriends and why they go through this time and time again! Yeah you are so right about that NC but it sucks dont it!! lol
ThumbingMyWay Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 But cut me some slack i was in a 14 year relationship until a few months ago so i have been out of the dating game for years!! just a ? but after 14 years.....wouldnt you want some alone time....I mean to live with you and get to know you again? I dunno...I think if I became single...I wouldnt get into the dating scene for at least a year or so...but thats me I guess....
Author Lishy Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 well it's been 11 months now!!!!! I am not looking to get married - Just get some fun and attention!!!!
ThumbingMyWay Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 oops....when you siad a few months...I thought you meant 3...my bad.. well.....go get some girl!
Author Lishy Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 Ooooooooo TMW you are a hottie!!!!! Sorry my sex drive is getting outta control hahahhahha
ThumbingMyWay Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 hahahahahaha.... mine would be too after 11 months your attractive as well...
Author Lishy Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 oh hey, Lishy, I was just gonna say.... that kind of behavior is usually displayed by women who has high stock value. Doesn't usually happen to girls who doesn't have any guys going after them....... as Alpha would probably attest to. ??????????????
Author Lishy Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 I know it exists cause I've met men in their 30s and 40s who've never had a girlfriend or been married. Could they be gay?
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