Lishy Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Why oh why oh why oh why do we always want the guys who dont make the effort and guys who dont seem to care about you unless you are in the sack? Why do we balk at the nice guys that we say we want, but obsess over the ones who dont give a flying crap? When guys chase us like crazy and we are not that interested to start but then we decide we will give it a shot why do they then turn cold? Is it just an ego thing? Do we just want what we cant have? Are we just gluttons for punishment? Tell me pleassssssssssseeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
elijahBailey Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 of course it's an ego thing. so, who's been giving you a hard time now Lishy?
Author Lishy Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 No one babes - My friends are ALWAYS complaining about guys being like this though! It makes girls too scared to show how they really feel cos when they do POW the guy disappears! Its a no win situation, you dont show em how you feel and they chase, you let them know and they POOOOOF!!!!!! Why cant our love lives be so easy and simple and honest? I am too scared to even give it a chance after the last guy i was seeing did the exact same thing!!!!!! Yukky men eh lol
Devildog Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Maybe you should stop playing the extreme ends of the spectrum. When you go from ignoring to smothering in 0.3 seconds, yeah, it is gonna scare anyone. Either that or cause whiplash. Have you checked the hospital for these guys after they "disappear"?
alphamale Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Is it just an ego thing? Do we just want what we cant have? Are we just gluttons for punishment? It is the ego thing LISHY....and also the fact that women choose the men they want and when they choose a man and he isn't that interested (or is aloof) then women get pissed off. I call it the I can have any man I want syndrome. And contrary to popular opinion, it is the women who love to chase much more than men do but they have to like or love the man. The other thing is that most men (90%?) are not a challenge to women. They are too easy to get and when a man comes along that provides challenge and drama and plays hard-to-get then it piques the woman's interest. This is all human nature. We all want something that is unavailable and that does not come easy. In other words, the more work you have to do to get somebody the more they'll be worth to you...
Hot Coco Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 You could have been describing me at one time in my life! But the thing is it has to do with self-esteem. Deep down you don't think you DESERVE the nice guy. The one you don't have to play games with. AND you haven't met the right one yet. When you do, you won't believe how easy it is. No games. No guessing. It will be mutual. It will be easy. You'll both know right away. No one will be chasing anyone. You'll see.
Author Lishy Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 It is the ego thing LISHY....and also the fact that women choose the men they want and when they choose a man and he isn't that interested (or is aloof) then women get pissed off. I call it the I can have any man I want syndrome. And contrary to popular opinion, it is the women who love to chase much more than men do but they have to like or love the man. The other thing is that most men (90%?) are not a challenge to women. They are too easy to get and when a man comes along that provides challenge and drama and plays hard-to-get then it piques the woman's interest. This is all human nature. We all want something that is unavailable and that does not come easy. In other words, the more work you have to do to get somebody the more they'll be worth to you... This is so so true!!!!!!!! I DO love to chase - I HATE being chased too much it makes me lose respect for a guy! Maybe deep down i do just want what i cant have because if i am completely honest with myself the last guy i really liked wasnt that interesting to me UNTIL he backed off!! (he isnt full on relationship material to me anyway!) But boy did i obsess over him! Does this make me a bad person? I hate to see myself as a girl who plays guys - I hate that game playing scene. Damn i hope Hot Cocoa is right and when that guy comes along things will be so easy hehhehe Great advice as always guys!!!!!!
Author Lishy Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 Oh I just remembered something - The last guy i was interested in pissed me off when he couldnt come around when i wanted him to - So i told him! He said to me "babe if i say i cant come around because i have to be up early for football or I am starting work early in the morning - then that is the reason why, it's not because i dont want to" and ::cringe:: I replied "Well how i see it you should be lucky that I am asking you cos i NEVER call a guy first" So he says "So call me Neo ... The chosen one" Yeah it's an ego thing for sure (I have deleted his number now my ego has to get packed away with my summer clothes) lol
Hot Coco Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Lishy, Not to sound arrogant but I AM right. You will see. The only other piece of advice I will give you is to not bring sex into it too soon. It will cloud your judgement. You won't know if it's REALLY the right person for you or not. It will be hard to do but you MUST not bring sex into the relationship too soon. It will mess with your head if you do. Become friends first and if you don't want to be around the person ALL the time with NO sex, then he's not the guy for you. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. I was once where you were.
slubberdegullion Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 I HATE being chased too much it makes me lose respect for a guy! Every dude should have this quote taped to their bathroom mirror so they see it every single day. There is so much truth in this statement.
alphamale Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Every dude should have this quote taped to their bathroom mirror so they see it every single day. There is so much truth in this statement. there has been a lot of mis-information spewed about in todays society. Most people believe that its the man who likes to chase. In actuality it is the woman who likes to chase once she finds a man she likes... Any man who is good with women knows this fact....
elijahBailey Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 the last guy i really liked wasnt that interesting to me UNTIL he backed off!! (he isnt full on relationship material to me anyway!) But boy did i obsess over him! typical. <yawn>.... Does this make me a bad person? uhm.... lemme see..... hmmm..... <tapping my fingers>..... alright, yes! but then, so am I :lmao:
JS17 Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Why oh why oh why oh why do we always want the guys who dont make the effort and guys who dont seem to care about you unless you are in the sack? These are the only guys that exist so you really don't have a choice but to be with them. If you want someone, this is what you have to settle for. Why do we balk at the nice guys that we say we want,They don't really exist, that guy that you were talking about above lies underneath the nice guy cover. In the primate kingdom the Alpha Male exists with a harem of female primates. (please AM, no comments) I have studied what the non-AMs do to try to get their genes into the next generation. The will sneak into the territory of the AM and have sex with the unwilling female primates when the AM is out hunting and what not. (There has actually been a few studies done on this behavior to understand rapists but that is off the point.) The point is that the AM and non-AM are the same underneath their covers...the nice guy (non-AM) and the agressor (AM). The nice guy will turn into a jacka$$ once he gets what he wants and that is to get his genes back into the pool....this applies to both the human and animal kingdoms.
elijahBailey Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 oh hey, Lishy, I was just gonna say.... that kind of behavior is usually displayed by women who has high stock value. Doesn't usually happen to girls who doesn't have any guys going after them....... as Alpha would probably attest to.
elijahBailey Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 In the primate kingdom the Alpha Male exists with a harem of female primates. (please AM, no comments) I wouldn't bet my bank on that, JS :lmao: Watch out, anytime now......
JS17 Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 I wouldn't bet my bank on that, JS :lmao: Watch out, anytime now...... It was a last ditch attempt...I didn't think it would really work but I'm still keeping my fingers crossed.
alphamale Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 These are the only guys that exist so you really don't have a choice but to be with them. If you want someone, this is what you have to settle for. They don't really exist, that guy that you were talking about above lies underneath the nice guy cover. I must respectfully disagree JS17.... I know some nerdy and not-so-desirable men who would never cheat on a beautiful woman, they would be very nice and do everything she says and they would take out the garbage every Tuesday and never look at another female and they would cook and clean and take care of the kids and they would be sooooo happy to have her that they would thank their lucky stars.... oh yeah, they are also sorta ugly with little personality and no spine....
elijahBailey Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 they would be very nice and do everything she says and they would take out the garbage every Tuesday and never look at another female and they would cook and clean and take care of the kids isn't that like a woman masquerading as a man? :eek:
JS17 Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 I know some nerdy and not-so-desirable men who would never cheat on a beautiful woman How about a not so beautiful woman? I bet they would.
alphamale Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 How about a not so beautiful woman? I bet they would. how??? they cannot get any chicks to begin with. even the fat and ugly women shun them!
Khyati Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 chill babe...it is just human tendency to run behind what they dont have.It has happened to me several times and beleive me I dont regret the same.We crave for things which we lose but that is for just short span..This is so so true!!!!!!!! I DO love to chase - I HATE being chased too much it makes me lose respect for a guy! Maybe deep down i do just want what i cant have because if i am completely honest with myself the last guy i really liked wasnt that interesting to me UNTIL he backed off!! (he isnt full on relationship material to me anyway!) But boy did i obsess over him! Does this make me a bad person? I hate to see myself as a girl who plays guys - I hate that game playing scene. Damn i hope Hot Cocoa is right and when that guy comes along things will be so easy hehhehe Great advice as always guys!!!!!!
JS17 Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 how??? they cannot get any chicks to begin with. even the fat and ugly women shun them! I don't know. I've never come across a man that could get absolutely nobody. I'm not sure I believe that exists.
alphamale Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 I don't know. I've never come across a man that could get absolutely nobody. I'm not sure I believe that exists. I know it exists cause I've met men in their 30s and 40s who've never had a girlfriend or been married.
SmoochieFace Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 I know it exists cause I've met men in their 30s and 40s who've never had a girlfriend or been married. Maybe those men have only had boyfriends and they didn't want to clue you in on that.
ThumbingMyWay Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Why do we balk at the nice guys that we say we want, but obsess over the ones who dont give a flying crap? Is it just an ego thing? Do we just want what we cant have? Are we just gluttons for punishment? IMO....women cant choose....they want it all, but cant have it all. They want a HOT bad boy in the sheets....a rugged handy man to help around the house....a clean cut nice guy to make them feel like a princess and a good man with morals and values to be a father.... The problem is....a man of these qualities is slim to come by. YOU must settle for a compromise...and your ego wont let you....cause you want want want.... SO....after sifting thru the jerks....you will finally come to the realization, that you should have kept that NICE guy who treated you well, listened to you and WANTED to be with you..... BUT NOOOO.......you just gotta push that guy away....WHY? I know SOOOOO many nice decent men, good looking, have a job, good values, etc.....BUT no wife or GF..... ladies...YOU are missing out....not US nice guys....casue sooner ot later WE will be taken...and that is one less "good" man on the market. This is what men want: An average looking female who will admire and adore them for WHO THEY ARE...not what YOU want them to be. This is what women want: EVERYTHING
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