Am I overreacting? Please, I would like to know how you would feel on this situation.

[Alternate Life]

My boyfriend that talks with me everyday, went on a vacation trip with his family. Just for reference, he is 29 years old (in case people think he is a teen). In 10 days away, he called me once for 30 minutes. He said there was no free Wi-Fi on the place but they bought 24 hours once, and that was the day he called me, telling me he was going to call me later again but he never did it.  He sent me some text messages but just a few through out the days.

I feel put aside, relegate because i think he had better things to do. I feel like i'm good just for the time he has nobody else around. I'm really sad and hurt.

Am I overreacting? Am I seeing something that is not there? Please, i need some insight. Tell me how would you feel if it was with you. Thank you so much.

 

[BrinnM]

He’s on a vacation and he called you, explaining the Wi-Fi situation. He’s with family. I don’t see anything wrong with that, unless he’s usually a massively frequent Texter or caller.
 

You’re not specifying how long you’ve been a couple. If the relationship is pretty new - and I’m drawing this conclusion because I’m thinking that you’d be with them as a part of the family if you were “established” -, maybe he doesn’t feel obligated to catch up with you on a very regular basis yet. I think you’re overreacting, and I don’t understand the feeling of being put aside, either. I’m assuming he’s abroad, busy enjoying his family trip, and spending time with mom/dad/siblings. Nothing wrong with that. 

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, Alternate Life said:

My boyfriend that talks with me everyday, went on a vacation trip with his family. I feel put aside, relegate because i think he had better things to do.

How long have you been dating? Let him enjoy his vacation and miss you a bit. Is there a specific reason you are worried, such as thinking there are other women involved?

[glows]

13 hours ago, Alternate Life said:

I feel put aside, relegate because i think he had better things to do. I feel like i'm good just for the time he has nobody else around. I'm really sad and hurt.. 

There’s not much info in your post so I can’t tell if you’re overreacting. The part quoted above is powerful because it describes just how low you’re feeling and how hugely insecure you feel in this relationship.

Is this you in general (are you normally an insecure person) or is this the relationship and him not following through or letting you down previous times before? 

We know it’s not the calling itself but that he said he would call and didn’t that is hurtful.

 

[JTSW]

I think you're overreacting.

He is on vacation with his family. Cut him some slack.

It's only ten days. He'll be back.

[ExpatInItaly]

On 11/6/2022 at 12:58 AM, Alternate Life said:

Am I overreacting? Am I seeing something that is not there?

Yes, and yes. 

Unless you're leaving out big parts of the story, I don't see why his explanation wasn't satisfactory for you. He told you why he can't be in touch so much. And you also know he's away with family. I would try not to personalize this or use it as a measuring stick of your value in the relationship. 

[Alpacalia]

Very early on in our relationship, my ex went away to Ireland and didn't call me much.

As soon as he arrived back in the country he brought me a thoughtful collection of Irish items. Were together for seven years.

It is fine to feel frustrated and upset he didn't call when he said he would.

Personally, I think communication should be at a bare minimum when your partner travels. I think it’s a good thing to give people breathing room and let your partner miss you sometimes.

It’s through his behavior that you find out what you’ve actually got with him. That’s how you know. That’s the only way to know for sure!

As a couple, what matters is finding something that works for you. Clearly, you want more attention when he’s away. It's unclear if you expressed your expectations, and he forgot or ignored them, or if he did what he thought was right and you weren't pleased.

When he returns, let him know that you missed him and hoped to hear more from him. Be specific.

It's all right.

He'll be back soon.

Edited November 7, 2022 by Alpacalia

[Mike B.]

I think you should allow him to enjoy his vacation.