ElleOli Posted October 31, 2022 Posted October 31, 2022 Hi everyone, I’m looking for advice about asking a coworker out. I’ve had a crush on him for a while now, and he seemed to flirt with me and stare, but a few months ago I learned that he had a girlfriend so I ignored him. However, when he came back from a long holiday a few days ago, I saw him on a dating app. I’m not sure what his deal is now but it’s sparked interest again and ever since he got back we’ve been talking more and he’s usually the one who starts the conversations. I can’t see any clear signs that he likes me though, so I would like some advice on how to proceed. I would like to suggest getting a drink together sometime, but I don’t know what his deal is and, also, we’re coworkers, so I don’t want things to become uncomfortable. Any advice? Thanks!
Ami1uwant Posted October 31, 2022 Posted October 31, 2022 Have you asked him things like “ how was your weekend, what did you do?”
glows Posted October 31, 2022 Posted October 31, 2022 It sounds like you’re torn. What’s the workplace policy on dating fellow staff? Find that out first. Then second, ask yourself what your job means to you and if you want to take the risk should things go south. Who is this guy? Is he reliable at work? Punctual? Well-respected? What is doing with his life? Or is he the office knave looking for one distraction after another? Do other women roll their eyes when he approaches? He might initiate conversations with you because you’re not reactive and rather inert/unimpressed. He knows you may not misinterpret him. If you feel you want to make a move and it’s not against workplace policies then ask him out. At the most you’ll get an apologetic No, sorry. If he’s dishonest with you you’ll likely find out soon enough in his mannerisms or the way he treats you. The important thing is what kind of man/employee is he? What’s your gut feeling on this person aside from his looks or things he says? 1
Wiseman2 Posted October 31, 2022 Posted October 31, 2022 2 hours ago, ElleOli said: I saw him on a dating app. Contact him on the app. See what happens.
ZA Dater Posted November 1, 2022 Posted November 1, 2022 As someone who was in a similar situation with a co worker I would suggest you decide if you want to date in the work place. I had a co worker, she was exceptionally friendly and loved any degree of attention I could give her but like in your scenario she was not single but enjoyed the banter with me. All I am saying is it can be very difficult to balance this in a workplace and if things go wrong it could be difficult to deal with. Hate to say this but unless there is something super attractive about him you are probably better off not dating in the work place.
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