Gattaca2022 Posted October 24, 2022 Posted October 24, 2022 What’s a better first date spot you think?
glows Posted October 24, 2022 Posted October 24, 2022 Neutral. If it’s a first meet, keep it short. You’re not staying there longer than 30 min or a hour max. Excuse yourself and save it for the next one.
Gaeta Posted October 25, 2022 Posted October 25, 2022 Coffee shop Ice cream parlor Walk in a park I think it's better to stay away from alcohol for that 1st meeting.
poppyfields Posted October 25, 2022 Posted October 25, 2022 (edited) My hubs and I had our first meet at a local and popular pub. We sat at the bar and ordered drinks and an appetizer to share. Sharing apps over drinks creates a great relaxing vibe as it eases the inevitable nervousness and anxiety that one typically feels on first meets or dates. Make sure you drink responsibly, getting drunk is not a good look especially on a first meet/date. I have always preferred that venue, again great vibe, great music, great way to connect assuming there is chemistry between you. Edited October 25, 2022 by poppyfields
mortensorchid Posted October 25, 2022 Posted October 25, 2022 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: Coffee shop Ice cream parlor Walk in a park I think it's better to stay away from alcohol for that 1st meeting. ^ This. Avoid alcohol for the first meeting if you can. Of course I have had and others I know of have also had dates where rhe other shows up drunk / high already. If and when that happens it's out of your control. 1
Alpacalia Posted October 25, 2022 Posted October 25, 2022 (edited) I'm not sure one is really better than the other. They're just different and they each have their pluses and minuses. Bar dates can be polarizing whereas a coffee date is "safe." Some might not be comfortable with the suggestion of drinks for a first date and others won't mind. Coffee dates are more informal where bars can be sexy. Both venues are totally legit and can lead to lasting love. Having a first date at a pub sounds fun. First dates have taken me out for coffee and to dinner at restaurants that serve alcohol. Sometimes we'd have a drink, sometimes not. No more than one alcohol beverage was ordered by myself or my date if we did happen to order drinks. I can't think of a single time either of us got sloshed on a first date. This was mostly offline though. Most of the meet-and-greets that happen online don’t know who will show up until you meet them anyway. It's really about what you want. Quick decisions are okay sometimes. After all, some debates exist for a good reason: because there really is no right answer. So, if your heart is set on one over the over, go with that. Put it to rest. Just do it. Edited October 25, 2022 by Alpacalia
Maldives Posted October 25, 2022 Posted October 25, 2022 9 hours ago, Gattaca2022 said: What’s a better first date spot you think? Bar no food menu lol
ZA Dater Posted October 25, 2022 Posted October 25, 2022 Coffee shop because I think alcohol on the first meet is probably not the best of ideas. I'll never forget the first date I had once where she drank a bottle and a half of wine....was not a pleasant experience.
Wiseman2 Posted October 25, 2022 Posted October 25, 2022 12 hours ago, Gattaca2022 said: What’s a better first date spot you think? Ask her. Would you like to get a coffee or drink sometime? There's your answer.
ChatroomHero Posted October 25, 2022 Posted October 25, 2022 I've always felt like a coffee date is more like an interview and sets a weird, "proper" tone and don't get much out of it. A bar or social atmosphere let's you 'socialize' and it;s not so much an interview environment.
Gaeta Posted October 25, 2022 Posted October 25, 2022 Coffee dates can be real fun. It's not the environment that makes the date it's the people on the date. Whether it's a meeting at a coffee shop or in an elevator, I can make it fun. 1
poppyfields Posted October 25, 2022 Posted October 25, 2022 (edited) Yeah meeting a random person in an elevator is spontaneous, there's no pressure to "connect," its relaxed and fun! I actually met a previous boyfriend that way. For some people, coffee dates are awkward and cause anxiety. This person is a stranger and you're sitting across from them drinking coffee trying to make small talk and break the ice. And connect. It can be very awkward sometimes, for some people, myself included. On first meets, there's this pressure to connect and because of that, chances are you won't connect, because of that pressure. Meeting at a pub, sitting at bar sharing an app, where's there is music playing, others around, a lively atmosphere creates a more relaxing vibe in my experience, less pressure. Imo the environment is so important, it can make a real difference in how comfortable you both are, how well you vibe together and ultimately connect. My experience. Edited October 25, 2022 by poppyfields
mark clemson Posted October 25, 2022 Posted October 25, 2022 My understanding is that a coffee date is often more of an initial "meeting" the other person before taking them on a "real date" that costs more money and time, etc. However having plans to potentially extend a coffee date if things go well and turn it into a "real date" isn't at all crazy.
Els Posted October 25, 2022 Posted October 25, 2022 It really depends on your culture, so it's difficult to give relevant advice when we don't know where you're from. In some cultures, "let's grab coffee together" is basically akin to saying "I would like to do business (or be friends) with you". Whereas on the other hand, in other cultures alcohol can be a controversial thing, so people rarely meet up for the first time in a bar. I've lived in both.
glows Posted October 26, 2022 Posted October 26, 2022 (edited) The coffee is nicer to go with a brisk walk. Edited October 26, 2022 by glows
Clarity1 Posted October 27, 2022 Posted October 27, 2022 The first date should be about getting to know the person and seeing if you vibe well enough for a second date, so less distractions the better. Going to a bar and having a drink or two will of course help with nerves/relaxing. Coffee shop is more casual, less pressure.
smackie9 Posted October 27, 2022 Posted October 27, 2022 It depends on you and the person....there's no right or wrong. I'm a people watcher so I like a pub type atmosphere or outdoor cafe. 1
mortensorchid Posted October 28, 2022 Posted October 28, 2022 Also, beware someone who has a lot to drink before going out in general or who drinks a lot on a date. One or two alcoholic drinks is alright but someone who drinks 3/4 a bottle is concerning.
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