Rico3 Posted October 21, 2022 Posted October 21, 2022 Is it fair that the married girl said I cheated on her when I always kept telling her to divorce her husband but wouldn't because of the kids and because she said I didn't seem 100% committed. She was my best friend for most of my life. We eventually started dating each other because she wasn't happy with her husband. I have (and have always had) commitment issues so that's what she was reading. I do truly love her it was just that I never got to experience being with her 24/7 so I was never sure that I could marry her. But once she left I was 100% sure I wanted to marry her. But she no longer wants me because I was seeing other girls. I was alone every weekend. I found a girl that would see me on the weekends. How is it fair that she could stay with her husband but I couldn't see other girls. I told her to leave her husband hundreds of times so we could be together. She never did. I don't question her love for me because she truly loved me. I felt it. But she didn't want to commit to me because of my commitment issues. How crazy is that. I miss her to death.
Will am I Posted October 21, 2022 Posted October 21, 2022 I understand your pain. But it seems that what you both want is not very realistic. She (MW): married and having an affair with you (OM) on the side. Maybe you as the OM are her back-up plan. She expects you to remain available and refrain from dating other women. You: really want to be with your MW but since she’s not available you date other women. You tell me: what would be a good outcome of this? Obviously you can put the puzzle together if MW would leave her marriage. But I wouldn’t count on that. If she was getting a divorce, she’d already done that and she wouldn’t have been an MW but a recenyly divorced woman when she hooked up with you. I think you should shift your paradigm from fair/unfair to realistic/unrealistic. 2
Alpacalia Posted October 21, 2022 Posted October 21, 2022 (edited) 51 minutes ago, Rico3 said: Is it fair that the married girl said I cheated on her when I always kept telling her to divorce her husband but wouldn't because of the kids and because she said I didn't seem 100% committed. What the heck!? I hope that's what you said to yourself. Edited October 21, 2022 by Alpacalia 1
Author Rico3 Posted October 21, 2022 Author Posted October 21, 2022 3 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: What the heck!? So I did cheat? And she wasn't cheating?
Will am I Posted October 21, 2022 Posted October 21, 2022 Sorry to be blunt but your whole relationship is founded on infidelity. You seem to look for a moral highground in a place where there is no such thing to be found. Your best chance of success is actually when you leave your partner. That will create a pivot point where she needs to choose, she can no longer have her cake and eat it. Maybe (small chance) she will leave her husband is that is a requirement for her to see you. Probably she won’t. But even that outcome is better than yojr current situation. 1 2
basil67 Posted October 21, 2022 Posted October 21, 2022 If we play with fire, we get burned. And to be honest, the only person who's been hard done by in this situation is her husband. Or potentially any woman who you may have started seeing without first ending it with your MW 2
Wiseman2 Posted October 22, 2022 Posted October 22, 2022 10 hours ago, Rico3 said: So I did cheat? And she wasn't cheating? It's not about cheating. For whatever reason,, she decided to stick with her husband and that happens all the time. Why even keep her in play if you are able to date single available women? Delete and block her. It's that simple. This way you can focus on women who want you rather than bored or unhappy married women who just want outside attention
BaileyB Posted October 22, 2022 Posted October 22, 2022 17 hours ago, Rico3 said: she didn't want to commit to me because of my commitment issues. How crazy is that. Not that crazy - she had a lot to lose by divorcing her husband and breaking up her family. 1
stillafool Posted October 22, 2022 Posted October 22, 2022 19 hours ago, Rico3 said: I don't question her love for me because she truly loved me. I felt it Love is about actions. If she truly loved you she would have divorced her husband, seek a coparenting agreement and moved with you. People do that everyday. She's a cheater and would probably cheat on you too. No prize here. 2
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