HazelBliss Posted October 20, 2022 Posted October 20, 2022 Would you feel comfortable with your female friend being trained by your boyfriend/husband? Scenario: You trust your man but you have a friend who is on the skanky side and is requesting a session with him. Is it more about his actions or the respect from your friend or both?
ShyViolet Posted October 20, 2022 Posted October 20, 2022 Why are you friends with this person if you don't feel that you can trust her, or that she would do something like this? 1 1
BaileyB Posted October 20, 2022 Posted October 20, 2022 (edited) Is there a particular reason why she wants your boyfriend to be her trainer? There are trainers at every gym, surely she could find someone else. Edited October 20, 2022 by BaileyB
Alpacalia Posted October 20, 2022 Posted October 20, 2022 (edited) It would not be a problem for me. Not going to be friends with my female friends for as long as I have if I did not trust them. I would not be concerned that something might happen between them (in your case) more so that she might be looking to stir up trouble that you don't need. Edited October 20, 2022 by Alpacalia
Author HazelBliss Posted October 20, 2022 Author Posted October 20, 2022 6 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: It would not be a problem for me. Not going to be friends with my female friends for as long as I have if I did not trust them. I would not be concerned that something might happen between them (in your case) more so that she might be looking to stir up trouble that you don't need. I personally wouldnt ask my friends bf to train me out of respect. Out of all the other trainers in this world to ask why him? It’s not like he’s giving discounts.. Its more of a respect thing for me and avoiding potential conflict.
Alpacalia Posted October 20, 2022 Posted October 20, 2022 3 minutes ago, HazelBliss said: I personally wouldnt ask my friends bf to train me out of respect. Out of all the other trainers in this world to ask why him? It’s not like he’s giving discounts.. Its more of a respect thing for me and avoiding potential conflict. Did she provide a reason she wants your boyfriend to train her? Maybe she is trying to get along with your boyfriend for your sake. It would be awkward if they didn't like each other. Maybe she respects something about your boyfriend that makes her comfortable asking him to train her. I’m just throwing darts, but I do recognize what you are describing.
Brian1223 Posted October 20, 2022 Posted October 20, 2022 (edited) 20 minutes ago, HazelBliss said: I personally wouldnt ask my friends bf to train me out of respect. Out of all the other trainers in this world to ask why him? It’s not like he’s giving discounts.. Its more of a respect thing for me and avoiding potential conflict. Maybe she wants to support your boyfriend (as a friend would) and give him business by asking him to be her trainer. You might want to have a think about whats caused this insecurity, especially when it's triggered by a "friend"... someone whom you should trust more than the average person he would train??? Edited October 20, 2022 by Brian1223
basil67 Posted October 20, 2022 Posted October 20, 2022 I tend to give my business to friends, so I don't think it's weird at all. What I think is weird is that you're friends with someone who you think could put moves on your boyfriend. And I also think it's weird that you say you trust your boyfriend yet you don't want him training your friend in a professional manner. Is he trustworthy or not? 2
Author HazelBliss Posted October 21, 2022 Author Posted October 21, 2022 3 hours ago, Alpacalia said: Did she provide a reason she wants your boyfriend to train her? Maybe she is trying to get along with your boyfriend for your sake. It would be awkward if they didn't like each other. Maybe she respects something about your boyfriend that makes her comfortable asking him to train her. I’m just throwing darts, but I do recognize what you are describing. She's never met him so its odd to me.
Author HazelBliss Posted October 21, 2022 Author Posted October 21, 2022 3 hours ago, basil67 said: I tend to give my business to friends, so I don't think it's weird at all. What I think is weird is that you're friends with someone who you think could put moves on your boyfriend. And I also think it's weird that you say you trust your boyfriend yet you don't want him training your friend in a professional manner. Is he trustworthy or not? I think it's weird too.. still don't feel comfortable... we're a new couple doing spectacular as of now and I just dont want any potential issues. My best friend asked me to inquire about his other business.. I have no problem with that but Im just like geez everybody wants his help.. mind you.. havent met him yet..let me solidify my relationship first.. I guess I am weird and selfish but hey..
Alpacalia Posted October 21, 2022 Posted October 21, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, HazelBliss said: She's never met him so its odd to me. Keeping outside input and prying eyes out of the early stages of a relationship is understandable. Here though you're suspicious of her intentions. Your friend's interest in possibly wanting to hire your boyfriend without ever having met him may seem odd, but it's not all that unusual. We often turn to our friends first for referrals. The understanding you have of your friend is much broader than mine. You're saying it's a respect issue. Did she not treat you respectfully in the past? Edited October 21, 2022 by Alpacalia
introverted1 Posted October 21, 2022 Posted October 21, 2022 15 hours ago, HazelBliss said: you have a friend who is on the skanky side This is not how I would describe a friend. Is there more to this situation than you are sharing? 2
glows Posted October 21, 2022 Posted October 21, 2022 10 hours ago, HazelBliss said: I think it's weird too.. still don't feel comfortable... we're a new couple doing spectacular as of now and I just dont want any potential issues. My best friend asked me to inquire about his other business.. I have no problem with that but Im just like geez everybody wants his help.. mind you.. havent met him yet..let me solidify my relationship first.. I guess I am weird and selfish but hey.. It’s sounds more like you’re speaking from a place of insecurity. It’s a new relationship and you haven’t had enough time together. You don’t have to answer everyone’s questions. Just deflect them and change the subject. You’re in control here, don’t make it all about him. It’s not. If you’re spending time with your friends focus on them. If anything this is the time to watch and observe. It may also be time to let go of people you don’t trust like your so-called friend.
NuevoYorko Posted October 21, 2022 Posted October 21, 2022 18 hours ago, HazelBliss said: I personally wouldnt ask my friends bf to train me out of respect. Out of all the other trainers in this world to ask why him? It’s not like he’s giving discounts.. Its more of a respect thing for me and avoiding potential conflict. Many people, like me, feel exactly the opposite. I would want to give my friend / friend's partner my business rather than a stranger. You're coming from a place of insecurity. That's why you think she should "know" not to ask him. In reality, a trainer has a professional relationship with their clients just like a lawyer, hairdresser, accountant, gardener, etc. Nothing to be afraid of. If you really think poorly of your "friend" you probably need better friends, and if you think that your bf the trainer is going to hit on your friend, he's probably even more likely to hit on other female clients. 1
flitzanu Posted October 21, 2022 Posted October 21, 2022 trusting your boyfriend would be trusting the fact that he isn't going to reciprocate ANY girl trying to hook up with him, regardless of being your friends. nothing can happen with him that is perpetrated by another girl without him allowing it to happen. would your friend still be your friend if she knew you are calling her a skank and suggesting she's going to somehow sleep with your boyfriend? 1
Wiseman2 Posted October 21, 2022 Posted October 21, 2022 What does your BF think? Can he refer her to someone he knows?
smackie9 Posted October 21, 2022 Posted October 21, 2022 (edited) Do you know all your BF's? clients? Maybe he has a few that are sleazier than her. What would you do then? Edited October 21, 2022 by smackie9
Author HazelBliss Posted October 21, 2022 Author Posted October 21, 2022 2 hours ago, flitzanu said: trusting your boyfriend would be trusting the fact that he isn't going to reciprocate ANY girl trying to hook up with him, regardless of being your friends. nothing can happen with him that is perpetrated by another girl without him allowing it to happen. would your friend still be your friend if she knew you are calling her a skank and suggesting she's going to somehow sleep with your boyfriend? She's more of an associate, I dont know her that well. Didnt feel like saying all of that but I'm still getting to know her. One thing I hate about these forums is that people draw conclusions from nothing.. I never said anything about her sleeping with him. Its a respect thing. I dont want him to come back and tell me she said this or did that. I hate conflict and I just want to avoid it. Now if she was my best friend or family member, I'm cool with it. But if my friend just started a relationship with someone I personally wouldn't make those type of requests esp if ive never met them before. Like go find another trainer..
Author HazelBliss Posted October 21, 2022 Author Posted October 21, 2022 1 hour ago, smackie9 said: Do you know all your BF's? clients? Maybe he has a few that are sleazier than her. What would you do then? Do I associate with or know his clients? The answer is NO, therefore they do not owe me any type of respect.
Author HazelBliss Posted October 21, 2022 Author Posted October 21, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: What does your BF think? Can he refer her to someone he knows? I didn't get that far.. she just inquired about it! lol.. shes a big girl she can search for one herself. She already attends a gym that most likely has personal trainers lol thats why I'm like why him.. she doesnt know where he trains and what type of training he even does. I wish you guys would understand where I am coming from. We dont have to agree.. but damn. Edited October 21, 2022 by HazelBliss
poppyfields Posted October 21, 2022 Posted October 21, 2022 (edited) I'm not understanding how "respect" plays a role in this? How is your boyfriend providing his services disrespectful to you? If he were a lawyer or doctor and she needed legal advice or medical attention, would you also consider that disrespectful? I am truly at a loss understanding this, can you clarify? EDIT: My husband owns a printing business and if one of my friends needed business cards or any other type of cards or plaques made, I would gladly refer her to him and no doubt HE would appreciate the business as well. Has nothing to do with respect or lack thereof, again I'm confused about that. Edited October 21, 2022 by poppyfields 4
Wiseman2 Posted October 21, 2022 Posted October 21, 2022 18 minutes ago, HazelBliss said: She already attends a gym that most likely has personal trainers lol thats why I'm like why him Ok, what you could do is ask your BF for a list of providers he knows and hand it to her. Ask your BF and mention "a friend needs a trainer, can you recommend some people?" That would resolve the issue. Are you afraid she is "after" your BF?
basil67 Posted October 21, 2022 Posted October 21, 2022 47 minutes ago, HazelBliss said: I dont want him to come back and tell me she said this or did that. If he's at all professional, he would know to not discuss his clients with you.
Alpacalia Posted October 21, 2022 Posted October 21, 2022 48 minutes ago, HazelBliss said: She's more of an associate, I dont know her that well. Didnt feel like saying all of that but I'm still getting to know her. One thing I hate about these forums is that people draw conclusions from nothing.. I never said anything about her sleeping with him. Its a respect thing. I dont want him to come back and tell me she said this or did that. I hate conflict and I just want to avoid it. Now if she was my best friend or family member, I'm cool with it. But if my friend just started a relationship with someone I personally wouldn't make those type of requests esp if ive never met them before. Like go find another trainer.. Just tell her to go find another trainer if you're feeling uncomfortable. It's not worth the headache. My ex is a personal trainer and in law enforcement. I was accustomed to women floating around him. It was not something I was concerned about when it came to him, considering the nature of his character. Then again my friends did not ask me if he would train them so perhaps I would have felt different. Who knows.
NuevoYorko Posted October 21, 2022 Posted October 21, 2022 2 hours ago, HazelBliss said: She's more of an associate, I dont know her that well. Didnt feel like saying all of that but I'm still getting to know her. One thing I hate about these forums is that people draw conclusions from nothing.. I never said anything about her sleeping with him.[/quote] I guess some of us assumed you were worried about that. What other thing would you be insecure about?
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