I'm (30M) dating a girl (29F) who's going backpacking for a long time

[popules]

Hey,

For the past 3 months I've been dating a girl who just left to backpack in Asia and Australia. We live in Europe and her working holiday visa is for 1 year, so if she likes it she will probably stay that long. She already paid and planned this trip before she knew I existed, so cancelling wasn't really an option which I respect and understand.

We've been having an amazing time these 3 months together. We've been talking everyday on the phone for hours, seeing each other at every chance we got and we both said that we have strong feelings for one another and that we are pretty much in love. The sex is great and we're having a lot of fun. We're obviously in this "crush/head over heels" stage.

She left last weekend and so far we're keeping in touch as usual through text/call. The first month of her trip she's staying with some girlfriends from home and they're partying a lot and met some random dudes they're hanging out with which bugs me out for some reason, although she still calls me and texts me saying how much she misses me. Today the communication has been kind of stale but that is something I have to learn to accept I suppose considering she must be having the time of her life? After her first month she's going to be solo in Australia, so the first month is more like a holiday.

Before she left she told me how much she wants to be with me when she gets back and "if we go through this we're probably set for life together", and I feel the same way. She has a dog and a big family in our country so I don't doubt that she'll come back as single sooner or later next year. She wants me to come visit when I can, we've been talking about March.

I'm creating this thread because I wanna know if someone else has been in the same situation. How screwed are we? She is very optimistic about this, saying things like "of course we will talk every day because I will miss you all the time, "of course we will be together when I get back", "I don't want to be with other guys during my trip". I'm perhaps more realistic/pessimistic about it all.

I have never backpacked in my life, can someone tell me what it's like? What are the chances she will be with other guys when she's gone, even though she told me she has no interest in this? She said she's not 18 y/o anymore and that she's doing this trip for herself and her own happiness before she wants to settle down back home. I don't wanna be a jealous guy bringing my concerns up all the time, considering we're not in a relationship per se. But come on, when she meets an Australian surfer dude, can I really trust her? s***.

What are the chances she thinks backpacking sucks and wants to go home earlier? Is backpacking only pleasant and fun? She's on a very tight budget so she will have to work to even pay for a cheap hostel, how's that like? How's Australia like on pretty much no pocket money at all? I heard it's expensive.

Looking at myself I'm already missing this girl to bits, but I have a strong feeling a year is too long considering we've only been dating for 3 months. I'm worried it will fizzle out in a couple of months, but right now I so strongly hope it won't, because I really feel like she could be the one. Have anyone else been in a situation like this when everything is fine and dandy like right now the first month, and gradually die out later on?

Any tips on how I should act towards her? So far I'm just a steady, supportive guy since I feel being jealous and weird about the situation probably will push her further away. My gut feeling right now is that it's not gonna work out but damn I want it to, so please give me some advice.

Thank you!

popules

 

[Gaeta]

When l met my ex-husband he was leaving for 7 months to middle east (army). We had 1 date together and the mutual connection was strong enough to carry both of us through that 7 months. There was no lnternet back then, we wrote each other a letter every day we were apart. We were married 15 years. 

My advise to you is to not try to control what is not yours to control whether it's her meeting another man or losing interest. Accept it may happenned, it may not. Who knows maybe you're the one that will fall for someone else while she's gone. You may both make it through that year and a couple of months after her return the relationship ends. You just can't know, and can't control it.

Time to get busy, start that new hobby, 

Edited October 20, 2022 by Gaeta

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, popules said:

For the past 3 months I've been dating a girl who just left to backpack in Asia and Australia. We live in Europe and her working holiday visa is for 1 year, so if she likes it she will probably stay that long.

Sorry this is happening. It's entirely up to you. Do you want to be a monk, agonize and wait around for a year? Truth is, don't put your life on hold. She isn't. So if it's "meant to be" as she seems to think, you'll get back together when she is home. But don't attempt a LDR for an entire year.

[smackie9]

I would just end it, put it on hold. let her go. If you both are single when she gets back, then pick up where you left off.  TBH why would anyone starting when they have a year long trip planned....

Edited October 20, 2022 by smackie9

[popules]

4 hours ago, Gaeta said:

When l met my ex-husband he was leaving for 7 months to middle east (army). We had 1 date together and the mutual connection was strong enough to carry both of us through that 7 months. There was no lnternet back then, we wrote each other a letter every day we were apart. We were married 15 years. 

My advise to you is to not try to control what is not yours to control whether it's her meeting another man or losing interest. Accept it may happenned, it may not. Who knows maybe you're the one that will fall for someone else while she's gone. You may both make it through that year and a couple of months after her return the relationship ends. You just can't know, and can't control it.

Time to get busy, start that new hobby, 

Thank you Gaeta, I appreciate it.

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. It's entirely up to you. Do you want to be a monk, agonize and wait around for a year? Truth is, don't put your life on hold. She isn't. So if it's "meant to be" as she seems to think, you'll get back together when she is home. But don't attempt a LDR for an entire year.

No, I won't put my life on hold. I'm starting a new, exciting job next Monday and I'm off from work this week, so that's probably a reason my mind is crazy right now. Care to elaborate on your last sentence? Is it because it's written in the stars that she will be with someone else and forget about me because she will be in a perpetual vacation mood with hot backpacker guys or something else?

1 hour ago, smackie9 said:

I would just end it, put it on hold. let her go. If you both are single when she gets back, then pick up where you left off.  TBH why would anyone starting when they have a year long trip planned....

Well, she told me clearly from the start that she's going on this trip and it's probably a bad idea to start dating seriously. I usually date a lot and have a hard time getting attached, so to me it was just "one of them casual dates". Then this s*** happened anyway. I don't know if I want to end it though. Right now I feel like I'll just take one day at a time and see how it unfolds. I mean it's been a week or so, this could fizzle out quick on its own, but hopefully not, why end it already? 

[basil67]

Another vote for  "If we're both single when you return, we can pick our relationship back up"

I get that you don't want to end it, but you're already twisting yourself in knots with the belief that she'll sleep with surfer dudes or hot backpackers.  So you don't trust her....and truth be told, it's not an unlikely outcome that she would hook up with someone.  Unless you can embrace a "whatever will be will be" attitude, better to set her free

[ShyViolet]

You need to accept the fact that it's very possible, likely even, that she'll meet someone else on this trip.  Or simply drift apart and grow tired of maintaining a long distance relationship and all the emotional energy that it takes.  You've only been dating her for 3 months.  That is not long at all and this short-lived relationship simply might not have the staying power to survive this long period of time apart.

You have no control over this.  It makes no sense to drive yourself crazy obsessing over what she is doing while she's on her trip.  As others have already said, do not put your life on hold for this.  Honestly, you should think of this as a breakup.  You will be living separate lives for an extended period of time.  If she comes back from the trip next year and is still single and still wants to date you, then start the relationship up again.  But don't drive yourself crazy in the meantime.  And accept that it might not happen at all.  Maybe YOU will even meet someone else.

[popules]

13 hours ago, basil67 said:

Another vote for  "If we're both single when you return, we can pick our relationship back up"

I get that you don't want to end it, but you're already twisting yourself in knots with the belief that she'll sleep with surfer dudes or hot backpackers.  So you don't trust her....and truth be told, it's not an unlikely outcome that she would hook up with someone.  Unless you can embrace a "whatever will be will be" attitude, better to set her free

Heya. Thanks for your answer.

11 hours ago, ShyViolet said:

You need to accept the fact that it's very possible, likely even, that she'll meet someone else on this trip.  Or simply drift apart and grow tired of maintaining a long distance relationship and all the emotional energy that it takes.  You've only been dating her for 3 months.  That is not long at all and this short-lived relationship simply might not have the staying power to survive this long period of time apart.

You have no control over this.  It makes no sense to drive yourself crazy obsessing over what she is doing while she's on her trip.  As others have already said, do not put your life on hold for this.  Honestly, you should think of this as a breakup.  You will be living separate lives for an extended period of time.  If she comes back from the trip next year and is still single and still wants to date you, then start the relationship up again.  But don't drive yourself crazy in the meantime.  And accept that it might not happen at all.  Maybe YOU will even meet someone else.

Hey, thanks!

Yesterday was the first day we only texted back and forth 4-5 times (we usually text ALOT or call everyday). Today I woke up to no answer from my last night text (she is 6h ahead in time), the answer came like 4pm~ today (her time), meaning she ignored me for most of her day. To be honest it feels like I'm already getting slow faded after just a week. How does one go from loving and caring and talking all the time to just this? I know she's in Asia having fun with her friends, but if you like someone you take TIME to write/call, right?  

[Gaeta]

12 minutes ago, popules said:

she ignored me for most of her day. To be honest it feels like I'm already getting slow faded after just a week. How does one go from loving and caring and talking all the time to just this? I know she's in Asia having fun with her friends, but if you like someone you take TIME to write/call, right?  

Oh Dear, 4-5  communication a day is not viable. She is on an adventure, probably her once in a life time adventure, you don't expect her to be hooked to her phone right? That would be a shame. When you love someone you also give them space, you let them enjoy their big adventure. She has a lot to take in and to discover. Have you ever backpack to a new country? I have a friend who did the Compostelle trail in Spain, we hardly heard from him. Most of the time his phone was discharged. 

Edited October 21, 2022 by Gaeta

[popules]

11 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Oh Dear, 4-5  communication a day is not viable. She is on an adventure, probably her once in a life time adventure, you don't expect her to be hooked to her phone right? That would be a shame. When you love someone you also give them space, you let them enjoy their big adventure. She has a lot to take in and to discover. Have you ever backpack to a new country? I have a friend who did the Compostelle trail in Spain, we hardly heard from him. Most of the time his phone was discharged. 

Thanks for showing me another perspective. The thing is I know she's online since she posts stories on Instagram, so therefore phone in hand but not answering me. Anyhow, I think I need to get som distance to this and just see how it unfolds and start focusing on myself.

[ExpatInItaly]

Yes, I’ve been in her shoes. 

I had a very similar experience, right before I left for my own working holiday experience (in Europe) I’d already planned it and had a 1-year visa when I met a new guy at home. We dated for about 2-3 months before I left, but the difference is that we didn’t commit to trying to make it work long-distance when I didn’t know exactly when I’d be back. 

Well, I liked it so much here (Italy) that I’m still here 10 years later. I never went back, so to speak. Yes, I visit my family and sorted logistics back home but I wound up setting here on a more permanent basis. The guy I’d dated before I left was nice enough but I was very excited to start a new chapter and had to let him go.

I personally think it would be wiser if you two wait and see if you’re both still single when she comes back. Trying to make it work throughout the next year is going to be difficult, I wager. She is going to be swept up in lots of exciting new experiences and her priorities might well change. I would not commit to each other at this point. Based on experience, set each other free and maybe connect again when she returns: 

[glows]

Have you traveled out of your city or country, OP? I ask to get a better idea. You say you’ve never backpacked. You don’t need to backpack to see the world and meet new people. There’s a strong chance travel will change her. Her experiences will widen and perspectives change. She won’t be the same person when she comes back and this may have nothing to do with you. She may decide not to come back either.

I suggest you spend every ounce of energy into being your best self for you and living your life. Don’t stop growing. Have anything you’ve ever wanted to do? Go do it. Do you feel like traveling too? And please don’t compare yourself to others (ie surfers and so on). Enjoy your life. Decide what’s best for you.

Edited October 21, 2022 by glows

[popules]

38 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Yes, I’ve been in her shoes. 

I had a very similar experience, right before I left for my own working holiday experience (in Europe) I’d already planned it and had a 1-year visa when I met a new guy at home. We dated for about 2-3 months before I left, but the difference is that we didn’t commit to trying to make it work long-distance when I didn’t know exactly when I’d be back. 

Well, I liked it so much here (Italy) that I’m still here 10 years later. I never went back, so to speak. Yes, I visit my family and sorted logistics back home but I wound up setting here on a more permanent basis. The guy I’d dated before I left was nice enough but I was very excited to start a new chapter and had to let him go.

I personally think it would be wiser if you two wait and see if you’re both still single when she comes back. Trying to make it work throughout the next year is going to be difficult, I wager. She is going to be swept up in lots of exciting new experiences and her priorities might well change. I would not commit to each other at this point. Based on experience, set each other free and maybe connect again when she returns: 

Thank you. We really haven't talked about "committing to a LDR". We have just said that we want to be with each other when she gets back, and that we will stay in contact and FaceTime as much as possible. 

1 minute ago, glows said:

Have you traveled out of your city or country, OP? I ask to get a better idea. You say you’ve never backpacked. You don’t need to backpack to see the world and meet new people. There’s a strong chance travel will change her. Her experiences will widen and perspectives change. She won’t be the same person when she comes back and this may have  nothing to do with you. She may decide not to come back either.

I suggest you spend every ounce of energy into being your best self for you and living your life. Don’t stop growing. Have anything you’ve ever wanted to do? Go do it. Do you feel like traveling too? And please don’t compare yourself to others like surfers or any concept of what comes to mind about Australia. There are always going to be 

Hey. Yeah I've been traveling a lot in Europe and also Asia. Only on trips lasting 2-3 weeks at a time though, so therefore no experience of backpacking and how's that like. 

Thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it. 

[smackie9]

17 hours ago, popules said:

Thank you Gaeta, I appreciate it.

No, I won't put my life on hold. I'm starting a new, exciting job next Monday and I'm off from work this week, so that's probably a reason my mind is crazy right now. Care to elaborate on your last sentence? Is it because it's written in the stars that she will be with someone else and forget about me because she will be in a perpetual vacation mood with hot backpacker guys or something else?

Well, she told me clearly from the start that she's going on this trip and it's probably a bad idea to start dating seriously. I usually date a lot and have a hard time getting attached, so to me it was just "one of them casual dates". Then this s*** happened anyway. I don't know if I want to end it though. Right now I feel like I'll just take one day at a time and see how it unfolds. I mean it's been a week or so, this could fizzle out quick on its own, but hopefully not, why end it already? 

Ending it to be fair for the both of you. A year where she doesn't have to worry about keeping in contact with you, and feel free to be free with other guys without a jealous BF she won't see for a year. You possibly missing out on other opportunities, sex, etc. All you will be depending on is phone calls and text messages, and then seeing/knowing her meeting and partying with other men. Staying together doesn't make sense especially only knowing each other for a few months. You can't possibly really know someone in that time to invest so heavily based on your infatuation. 

[glows]

2 hours ago, popules said:

Thank you. We really haven't talked about "committing to a LDR". We have just said that we want to be with each other when she gets back, and that we will stay in contact and FaceTime as much as possible. 

Hey. Yeah I've been traveling a lot in Europe and also Asia. Only on trips lasting 2-3 weeks at a time though, so therefore no experience of backpacking and how's that like. 

Thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it. 

I’d go with the flow on this one and when reaching a point of frustration/ not feeling like your efforts are reciprocated as in the case of not enough communication etc, end it. You be free to pursue your life, grow, adapt. Make your world bigger and don’t stay stuck. Keep growing no matter what the case. 

If you both want to stay in touch that’s fine. Doesn’t stop you from living life to the fullest. I see you’ve really fallen for this woman and enjoyed her company. You have a lot to offer. Put more of that back into investing in yourself. Balance this out a little. I would not overinvest in someone who cannot or is not doing the same or putting in equal efforts and walking the talk.

[popules]

1 hour ago, glows said:

I’d go with the flow on this one and when reaching a point of frustration/ not feeling like your efforts are reciprocated as in the case of not enough communication etc, end it. You be free to pursue your life, grow, adapt. Make your world bigger and don’t stay stuck. Keep growing no matter what the case. 

If you both want to stay in touch that’s fine. Doesn’t stop you from living life to the fullest. I see you’ve really fallen for this woman and enjoyed her company. You have a lot to offer. Put more of that back into investing in yourself. Balance this out a little. I would not overinvest in someone who cannot or is not doing the same or putting in equal efforts and walking the talk.

Yeah, hopefully it feel better next week when I'm starting my new job so I can focus on myself more. I think it's been hard since I'm trying to adapt to our new level of communication which I'm not used to. Your words mean a lot, thanks again!

[Ami1uwant]

I would have told you early on not to inves5 in this.  As others said if you had a very good start to hold off and wait till she returns but not wait for her.

[ExpatInItaly]

20 hours ago, popules said:

We really haven't talked about "committing to a LDR". We have just said that we want to be with each other when she gets back, and that we will stay in contact and FaceTime as much as possible. 

That's good. I would keep your expectations low here. She is embarking on some thrilling experiences and may or may not keep in regular contact. As more time passes, you will see how interested she is in keeping in touch but I would keep your options open. 

[Maldives]

On 10/21/2022 at 1:30 AM, popules said:

Hey,

For the past 3 months I've been dating a girl who just left to backpack in Asia and Australia. We live in Europe and her working holiday visa is for 1 year, so if she likes it she will probably stay that long. She already paid and planned this trip before she knew I existed, so cancelling wasn't really an option which I respect and understand.

We've been having an amazing time these 3 months together. We've been talking everyday on the phone for hours, seeing each other at every chance we got and we both said that we have strong feelings for one another and that we are pretty much in love. The sex is great and we're having a lot of fun. We're obviously in this "crush/head over heels" stage.

She left last weekend and so far we're keeping in touch as usual through text/call. The first month of her trip she's staying with some girlfriends from home and they're partying a lot and met some random dudes they're hanging out with which bugs me out for some reason, although she still calls me and texts me saying how much she misses me. Today the communication has been kind of stale but that is something I have to learn to accept I suppose considering she must be having the time of her life? After her first month she's going to be solo in Australia, so the first month is more like a holiday.

Before she left she told me how much she wants to be with me when she gets back and "if we go through this we're probably set for life together", and I feel the same way. She has a dog and a big family in our country so I don't doubt that she'll come back as single sooner or later next year. She wants me to come visit when I can, we've been talking about March.

I'm creating this thread because I wanna know if someone else has been in the same situation. How screwed are we? She is very optimistic about this, saying things like "of course we will talk every day because I will miss you all the time, "of course we will be together when I get back", "I don't want to be with other guys during my trip". I'm perhaps more realistic/pessimistic about it all.

I have never backpacked in my life, can someone tell me what it's like? What are the chances she will be with other guys when she's gone, even though she told me she has no interest in this? She said she's not 18 y/o anymore and that she's doing this trip for herself and her own happiness before she wants to settle down back home. I don't wanna be a jealous guy bringing my concerns up all the time, considering we're not in a relationship per se. But come on, when she meets an Australian surfer dude, can I really trust her? s***.

What are the chances she thinks backpacking sucks and wants to go home earlier? Is backpacking only pleasant and fun? She's on a very tight budget so she will have to work to even pay for a cheap hostel, how's that like? How's Australia like on pretty much no pocket money at all? I heard it's expensive.

Looking at myself I'm already missing this girl to bits, but I have a strong feeling a year is too long considering we've only been dating for 3 months. I'm worried it will fizzle out in a couple of months, but right now I so strongly hope it won't, because I really feel like she could be the one. Have anyone else been in a situation like this when everything is fine and dandy like right now the first month, and gradually die out later on?

Any tips on how I should act towards her? So far I'm just a steady, supportive guy since I feel being jealous and weird about the situation probably will push her further away. My gut feeling right now is that it's not gonna work out but damn I want it to, so please give me some advice.

Thank you!

popules

 

This is one of those situations where you have no control over. It's just best to leave it and go with the flow. What will be will be if you know what I mean. Nobody's gonna be able to predict whether she meets somebody or not.  Holidays can either be hit or miss. Probably going to be opportunities for her and there's nothing you can do about it  Just let it go and let what will be, be. The only thing against you is that you were only together for 3 months before she left so there's no real foundation built for your relationship.

 

[Maldives]

On 10/21/2022 at 1:30 AM, popules said:

Hey,

For the past 3 months I've been dating a girl who just left to backpack in Asia and Australia. We live in Europe and her working holiday visa is for 1 year, so if she likes it she will probably stay that long. She already paid and planned this trip before she knew I existed, so cancelling wasn't really an option which I respect and understand.

We've been having an amazing time these 3 months together. We've been talking everyday on the phone for hours, seeing each other at every chance we got and we both said that we have strong feelings for one another and that we are pretty much in love. The sex is great and we're having a lot of fun. We're obviously in this "crush/head over heels" stage.

She left last weekend and so far we're keeping in touch as usual through text/call. The first month of her trip she's staying with some girlfriends from home and they're partying a lot and met some random dudes they're hanging out with which bugs me out for some reason, although she still calls me and texts me saying how much she misses me. Today the communication has been kind of stale but that is something I have to learn to accept I suppose considering she must be having the time of her life? After her first month she's going to be solo in Australia, so the first month is more like a holiday.

Before she left she told me how much she wants to be with me when she gets back and "if we go through this we're probably set for life together", and I feel the same way. She has a dog and a big family in our country so I don't doubt that she'll come back as single sooner or later next year. She wants me to come visit when I can, we've been talking about March.

I'm creating this thread because I wanna know if someone else has been in the same situation. How screwed are we? She is very optimistic about this, saying things like "of course we will talk every day because I will miss you all the time, "of course we will be together when I get back", "I don't want to be with other guys during my trip". I'm perhaps more realistic/pessimistic about it all.

I have never backpacked in my life, can someone tell me what it's like? What are the chances she will be with other guys when she's gone, even though she told me she has no interest in this? She said she's not 18 y/o anymore and that she's doing this trip for herself and her own happiness before she wants to settle down back home. I don't wanna be a jealous guy bringing my concerns up all the time, considering we're not in a relationship per se. But come on, when she meets an Australian surfer dude, can I really trust her? s***.

What are the chances she thinks backpacking sucks and wants to go home earlier? Is backpacking only pleasant and fun? She's on a very tight budget so she will have to work to even pay for a cheap hostel, how's that like? How's Australia like on pretty much no pocket money at all? I heard it's expensive.

Looking at myself I'm already missing this girl to bits, but I have a strong feeling a year is too long considering we've only been dating for 3 months. I'm worried it will fizzle out in a couple of months, but right now I so strongly hope it won't, because I really feel like she could be the one. Have anyone else been in a situation like this when everything is fine and dandy like right now the first month, and gradually die out later on?

Any tips on how I should act towards her? So far I'm just a steady, supportive guy since I feel being jealous and weird about the situation probably will push her further away. My gut feeling right now is that it's not gonna work out but damn I want it to, so please give me some advice.

Thank you!

popules

 

That's akin to like a work conflict of interest scenario. I don't like the sound of this at all. It opens an opportunity up for them to get intimate. Not a good idea nd a friend I'd be very suspicious with. If it was me I'd distance myself from your friend. 

 

Lol sorry this comment was meant for another post lol sorry apologies 

Edited October 22, 2022 by Goodguy05

[popules]

Hey guys.

Quick update. Feels like I'm getting the slow fade here.

Yesterday was 1 text total from her saying "What's up today? :)" with me answering quickly. She didn't answer that text until this morning even though she's was online on Whatsapp and Snapchat later yesterday. I saw that she was online on Whatsapp this morning so I texted and called her but she didn't answer. Like 20 minutes later she's online again and still no response to my call or text, so I called her out saying "I can see that you're online lol" and then she immediately replied saying "I'm with friends, can't talk". I replied "Okay, call me when you can :)". She's been online after my text on Whatsapp but haven't read my text or replied. 

I'm trying to act cool towards her but when I saw her online it felt like I had the chance to call her, since the last 2 days have been very little communication. I understand that she's busy having fun, but tbh our contact before she left and actually all the way to this Wednesday was 24/7 with a lot of "miss you <3" texts and phone calls. My gut feeling CAN'T be wrong, something must be off here. She's obviously on her phone but not replying to me? 

Did she meet someone else already and forgot about me? s***.

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, popules said:

Did she meet someone else already and forgot about me? s***.

No way of knowing, but this is a fun trip with groups of friends/people. Try not to convert this into a LDR, by maintaining this much contact. Try to let go so you're free to live your life as you see fit rather than "calling her out" or tracking her online presence.

[glows]

There seems to be a recurring theme of you thinking she’s met someone else. It may have nothing to do with meeting anyone else. She’s living in the moment and isn’t interested in putting as much effort as you are into communicating at that moment. This may be a one off and she’s truly with friends. 

Don’t go dark with jealousy on this and start blaming someone else or an imaginary person she may have met. Why give in to that kind of insecurity? Isn’t she worth more than that as a person or didn’t your time together mean anything? 

Take the situation for what it is and she’s not available to talk with you. The overall is that her time is limited and she’s enjoying herself. You should do the same and don’t keep looking at your phone. Be busy and more engaged in your life. You both may be growing apart but don’t fall apart in the process. 

 

[popules]

Thanks guys. She just replied ”I’m going home now but I have a huge headache so going directly to sleep, we could try calling tomorrow? <3”

Insights? I’m really trying here but I’m so deep into this s*** so sorry for going crazy. 

[shellzbellz83]

1 hour ago, popules said:

Like 20 minutes later she's online again and still no response to my call or text, so I called her out saying "I can see that you're online lol"

If she hadn't responded but was online, I'd take that as a hint that she was not interested in talking to you at that time -- not as a prompt to passive aggressively "call her out." No one wants to feel like they're being tracked/monitored, and I'm sure you don't want her communicating with you just because you've guilted/pestered her into it. I would fall back and let her come to you.