Ilya2002 Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 Hello guys, sorry, my eng could be bad(not native). My girl broked up with me 09 october 2022. It will be a week of full no contact, she calls me sometimes cuz she needs to take her wear and other stuff. We were together for about 3 and a half years, relations was great, she said that she loves me every day. Should i continue my NC or text her after some days else? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ilya2002 Posted October 15, 2022 Author Share Posted October 15, 2022 Also started to chatting with other girls, but don't like them much Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ilya2002 Posted October 15, 2022 Author Share Posted October 15, 2022 We're both 20 years old Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 (edited) 5 minutes ago, Ilya2002 said: My girl broked up with me 09 october 2022. It will be a week of full no contact, she calls me sometimes cuz she needs to take her wear and other stuff. . Should i continue my NC or text her after some days else? Sorry this is happening. What was the breakup about? Did you live together? If she calls you and and you chat, it's not no contact. keep in mind no contact is not a tool to get an ex back, it is to help you recover and reset yourself. Chatting casually with other girls won't help right now either because your mind and heart are not into it. Edited October 15, 2022 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ilya2002 Posted October 15, 2022 Author Share Posted October 15, 2022 (edited) We lived for about 2 years, she said she lost feelings and she wants to live alone some time She calls me just to take her stuff, I can't allow her not to do it Edited October 15, 2022 by Ilya2002 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 16, 2022 Share Posted October 16, 2022 It's too early for you to be talking to other girls, OP. So don't try to rush that. And stop taking your ex things. She chose to let you go. She has to learn to stand on her own two feet, and not depend on your for emotional support. You are going to get very hurt if you continue to be her servant. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 16, 2022 Share Posted October 16, 2022 13 hours ago, Ilya2002 said: We're both 20 years old Unfortunately it's way too much way too young for way too long. You started dating at 17 and then lived together 2 years. Both of you need some freedom and space and room to grow. Make a plan for her to collect all her things at a mutually convenient time. Then discontinue trying to be friends and chatting. 13 hours ago, Ilya2002 said: We lived for about 2 years, she said she lost feelings and she wants to live alone 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ilya2002 Posted October 16, 2022 Author Share Posted October 16, 2022 (edited) I know we both need freedom and that's what I give her. Also I can't collect all her things because there are a lot of it. Trying to be friends seems to me like falling to friendzone and I don't want to be there Edited October 16, 2022 by Ilya2002 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ilya2002 Posted October 16, 2022 Author Share Posted October 16, 2022 Should I just continue my no contact for 30 days at least? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ilya2002 Posted October 16, 2022 Author Share Posted October 16, 2022 I'm chatting other girls to not break NC, don't want for a while to meet them 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 16, 2022 Share Posted October 16, 2022 41 minutes ago, Ilya2002 said: Should I just continue my no contact for 30 days at least? You should continue it indefinitely. As you are not a couple anymore, you are naturally going to drift out of each other's lives. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ilya2002 Posted October 16, 2022 Author Share Posted October 16, 2022 Ok, thanks a lot, but I forgot to say that my goal is to return her. I'll keep my NC, but should I wait her to text me after 30-45 days or I need to do this myself? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 16, 2022 Share Posted October 16, 2022 15 minutes ago, Ilya2002 said: Ok, thanks a lot, but I forgot to say that my goal is to return her. You didn't need to say it. It's obvious that you want her back. However, this out of your control. If she is no longer interested, it doesn't matter who texts whom first, or when. It hurts but you need to accept the reality that this is probably over. You were very young when you started dating, and these relationships usually don't last into adulthood. You have a lot of growing and exploring left to do; it's just that she reached that point before you did. That's why adhering to an arbitrary number of days without contactig her ultimately won't make much difference. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 16, 2022 Share Posted October 16, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, Ilya2002 said: I know we both need freedom and that's what I give her. Also I can't collect all her things because there are a lot of it. Trying to be friends seems to me like falling to friendzone and I don't want to be there Whose place is it? You need to let her know in writing that she has 30 days to collect all her things. It's her responsibility to get them, even if she needs to get a truck or friends and family to help her. Did she move back in with her parents? No contact is not a tool to "get-your-ex-back", even though these sites prey on broken hearts and tell you this. Talking to other girls to distract yourself is not fair to them. Your ex GF wants her freedom, so all you can do is step out of the friendzone, and arrange a time for her to collect all her belongings. Edited October 16, 2022 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 16, 2022 Share Posted October 16, 2022 (edited) 17 hours ago, Ilya2002 said: We lived for about 2 years, she said she lost feelings and she wants to live alone some time She calls me just to take her stuff, I can't allow her not to do it What happened here? Were there disagreements? She’s not interested and made it clear moving out. People don’t go through the trouble of moving their belongings/splitting up only to go back to their exes or most people don’t. And why would you want her back after such an ordeal in the first place? She walked out of your life. Would you sincerely entertain the idea of the same person moving in and out of your home like it’s a revolving door? You’re likely stunned and hurt as this is still fresh but don’t react to the loss or pain. She’s gone. Stop for a second and process this and stay away from the “get your ex back” schemes using no contact. Go no contact because you’re finished with someone who just chose to make you an option, not a priority. Edited October 16, 2022 by glows 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted October 16, 2022 Share Posted October 16, 2022 (edited) @Ilya2002 You've been misinformed by bad information on the internet that refers to No Contact like a magic tool that helps you win your ex back if you wait a certain period of time. Incorrect. No Contact isn't a means to win your ex back. It's something you naturally have to do after a breakup because it's the ONLY thing that'll help you heal, from your heartbreak. If the person who broke your heart is constantly in your life, talking to you, reminding you of how you are no longer with them, you will only feel like crap, everyday. The only reason you would do this to yourself is because you'd be hoping to get back with her. I believe you two broke up for very good reasons which you need to understand and respect. Problem here is you still believe you can get her back and so long as you believe that, you won't be ready to let go and move forward. From experience, I know nobody can convince you your relationship is over. You are just going to have to ride out your beliefs until you realize by yourself, that your relationship is over. When you get to the point where you realize this, then, you'll be open to letting go and the tools needed to help you to do that. - Beach Edited October 16, 2022 by Beachead 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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