poppyfields Posted October 14, 2022 Posted October 14, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, sushiandtacos said: Funny enough, at the end he thanked me for sending a confirmation text before because he said he was bad about that. Makes me think if he's playing games Yes I can see why you would think he's playing games. As in - I will intentionally not confirm to see if she does. I've heard men admit they do this. They get flaked on so much, it reaffirms for them the woman is interested and gonna show up. I mean come on, what grown man doesn't know how to follow up? Please. He may have been intimidated by your attractiveness sushi which would explain the fidgeting and awkwardness. You're also a doctor, a dentist? First meets are not easy! Today's dating culture is a lot different from 10-20 years ago. Especially on line. Lots of games, flaking, ghosting etc. Now he's probably waiting for you to send a "it was nice meeting you, we should do it again sometime!" text. Lol I've heard men admit they do this too! The younger guys, in their 20s which I think is your age demographic? I'm so glad I'm out of that whole scene. On line especially. Anyway, good luck, if you like him, hope it works out. Edited October 14, 2022 by poppyfields
Author sushiandtacos Posted October 14, 2022 Author Posted October 14, 2022 11 hours ago, basil67 said: I'm not seeing games with him admitting that he's bad with confirmation texts. Was the awkwardness enough to write him off? Not sure.. some convos were good and fun, but other times it was awkward haha. I guess I'll have to think about it?
Author sushiandtacos Posted October 14, 2022 Author Posted October 14, 2022 10 hours ago, glows said: Maybe you’re still a little put off by his delayed response. Was it all awkward? Did you laugh or chat about anything in common? Was the food any good? Or coffee? Did he say anything about wanting to see you again at the end? When a meeting or date goes well usually someone says something about meeting again. It doesn’t always mean it happens but there’s a bit of a start. I’m curious what gave you the impression he was playing games. Did he seem insincere or aloof, disinterested? It wasn't all awkward, I did laugh at some of the things we talked about. He kept mentioning "on our second date" and say that we should come to this bar again. So I take it he wants to go out again? The question is whether I want to or not I just think he was playing games because he was waiting for me to confirm the date rather than him being proactive and doing it himself, especially since he mentioned thanking me for doing it lol 1
Author sushiandtacos Posted October 14, 2022 Author Posted October 14, 2022 9 hours ago, poppyfields said: Yes I can see why you would think he's playing games. As in - I will intentionally not confirm to see if she does. I've heard men admit they do this. They get flaked on so much, it reaffirms for them the woman is interested and gonna show up. I mean come on, what grown man doesn't know how to follow up? Please. He may have been intimidated by your attractiveness sushi which would explain the fidgeting and awkwardness. You're also a doctor, a dentist? First meets are not easy! Today's dating culture is a lot different from 10-20 years ago. Especially on line. Lots of games, flaking, ghosting etc. Now he's probably waiting for you to send a "it was nice meeting you, we should do it again sometime!" text. Lol I've heard men admit they do this too! The younger guys, in their 20s which I think is your age demographic? I'm so glad I'm out of that whole scene. On line especially. Anyway, good luck, if you like him, hope it works out. Yes I agree! He totally was intentionally waiting for me to confirm, especially since he thanked me for doing it. He is a bit younger than me, he's in his early 20s lol I'm in my mid now! Maybe his lack of being proactive is in his age? LOL yes he's definitely waiting for that text hahaha.
glows Posted October 14, 2022 Posted October 14, 2022 You can’t seem to be turned on by this guy and he seems too nervous and who knows what else is running in the background. I’d give it one more meet and let him take more initiative. 1
Els Posted October 14, 2022 Posted October 14, 2022 16 hours ago, sushiandtacos said: Funny enough, at the end he thanked me for sending a confirmation text before because he said he was bad about that. Makes me think if he's playing games It just sounds to me like he tends to just assume that it's a done deal and forgets to text the day of... not that he's playing games. Frankly, I don't understand the need to get a text/call the day of, either. I'm married so dating isn't an issue, but I book our dinners out... and fancy restaurants here seem to NEEEED to call you the morning of the dinner to "confirm", and then there's the extra hassle of making sure you call them back ASAP so they don't cancel you. Ugh, drives me bonkers! To me, if I've agreed to a time beforehand, there is no need at all for communication on the day of the dinner. 4
FMW Posted October 14, 2022 Posted October 14, 2022 I don't think you need a confirmation the day of a date that has already been agreed upon as to where you're going to meet and at what time. Especially if there was a text about it just the day before. The only time I would expect confirmation is if no set time or place had been discussed. 2
introverted1 Posted October 14, 2022 Posted October 14, 2022 15 minutes ago, Elswyth said: To me, if I've agreed to a time beforehand, there is no need at all for communication on the day of the dinner. Especially when "beforehand" = the day before! I can see reconfirming if there's been a long time without communication, but the next day? And then this deep analysis into what he said, what he did or didn't do, how he looked... it's a lot of pressure and a lot of analysis for a first meeting. Not even a date, really - just a meeting to see if you want to date. Is it really that difficult to either bin it or give it another shot? 2
poppyfields Posted October 14, 2022 Posted October 14, 2022 (edited) 6 hours ago, sushiandtacos said: Yes I agree! He totally was intentionally waiting for me to confirm, especially since he thanked me for doing it. He is a bit younger than me, he's in his early 20s lol I'm in my mid now! Maybe his lack of being proactive is in his age? LOL yes he's definitely waiting for that text hahaha. I agree about no need to confirm when it was confirmed the day prior which is what I posted yesterday. However the fact he thanked you for doing so claiming he's bad at confirming suggests he thought he probably should have, but chose not to. Did he not confirm intentionally? Who knows! It's all speculation at this point. It sounds like you have a great attitude sushi and all this "analyzing" is all in good fun, nothing to take seriously or be bothered about. Just having some fun. If he reaches out great, it not, oh well. Keep us posted, it would be interesting to see how this all plays out, enjoy!! Edited October 14, 2022 by poppyfields 1
NuevoYorko Posted October 14, 2022 Posted October 14, 2022 7 hours ago, sushiandtacos said: I just think he was playing games because he was waiting for me to confirm the date rather than him being proactive and doing it himself, especially since he mentioned thanking me for doing it lol So ... does this mean that you were playing a game as well by waiting to see whether he would do it, rather than just doing it yourself when you thought of it? I say YES. 1
basil67 Posted October 14, 2022 Posted October 14, 2022 @sushiandtacos Kindly, I reckon you're overthinking this confirmation business. If you want to give him a bit more time, then have another date. If not, then don't meet him again 3
Alpacalia Posted October 14, 2022 Posted October 14, 2022 8 hours ago, sushiandtacos said: I just think he was playing games because he was waiting for me to confirm the date rather than him being proactive and doing it himself, especially since he mentioned thanking me for doing it lol What makes him play games? He scheduled the first date and confirmed it again a day before to make sure you were OK with the time. It has been a proactive approach on his part. Not sure what stopped you from sending a text saying you were looking forward to the date. 2
Beachead Posted October 15, 2022 Posted October 15, 2022 (edited) @sushiandtacos Be in the moment OP. Go on a couple of dates, enjoy yourself. Get to know one another. You'll have a much better idea of how you feel about all this after that. Right now, you're overthinking and trying to create a problem where none exists. Edited October 15, 2022 by Beachead 1 1
Alvi Posted October 15, 2022 Posted October 15, 2022 Well, if it was conformed before, there is no need to confirm it again and again and again. I don't think he is playing games. More likely the two of you have a different communication styles. You don't have to justify your feelings. None of us have met him after all. None of you have wrote looks like a game or some sort of a shyt test to me. But I don't know him. You could be totally right or totally wrong about him. If you feel like he is testing you or playing you, then wish him well and move on. Meet him again if think there might be something there. 2
Wiseman2 Posted October 15, 2022 Posted October 15, 2022 18 hours ago, sushiandtacos said: He kept mentioning "on our second date" and say that we should come to this bar again. Ok, so now the ball is in his court to arrange a second date. Are you still interested? He seems a bit immature for you and unfortunately many first meets are one and done. Don't pursue him further. He has your contact info and if he is still interested he'll contact you for date 2. 2
Author sushiandtacos Posted October 15, 2022 Author Posted October 15, 2022 (edited) Hey guys! Woah didn't see more messages here haha I see both sides here! Since he asked the morning a day before the date, then it would be confirmed. What made me think he could've sent another text was because the original place that he wanted us to go to needed a reservation at least a few weeks in advance. After I sent the confirmation text, that's when he texted asking to go somewhere else and to add to that he made that comment after about thanking me that I confirmed. But then again maybe he does have a different communication style here and because I'm used to guys texting me at least a few hours prior to the date. But you guys are totally right! I need to learn to not overthink in the initial stages of dating and to just go out there and have fun needed that reminder! As far as a second date with him, if he asks then I can consider going but so far he hasn't asked again haha. Been on a few dates with a different guy and been having fun with him so excited to see where that goes! Keep ya'll posted Edited October 15, 2022 by sushiandtacos grammar 3
smackie9 Posted October 16, 2022 Posted October 16, 2022 The guy probably lacked experience/has anxiety. Who needs that? Date those who treat you the way you expect to be treated. Confident/good dating etiquette/a gentleman. 1
Alvi Posted October 16, 2022 Posted October 16, 2022 (edited) On 10/15/2022 at 9:50 AM, sushiandtacos said: Hey guys! Woah didn't see more messages here haha I see both sides here! Since he asked the morning a day before the date, then it would be confirmed. What made me think he could've sent another text was because the original place that he wanted us to go to needed a reservation at least a few weeks in advance. After I sent the confirmation text, that's when he texted asking to go somewhere else and to add to that he made that comment after about thanking me that I confirmed. But then again maybe he does have a different communication style here and because I'm used to guys texting me at least a few hours prior to the date. But you guys are totally right! I need to learn to not overthink in the initial stages of dating and to just go out there and have fun needed that reminder! As far as a second date with him, if he asks then I can consider going but so far he hasn't asked again haha. Been on a few dates with a different guy and been having fun with him so excited to see where that goes! Keep ya'll posted While it is important not to overthink the entire situation, I think it is very important to listen to your intuition, your gut feelings at the same time. Well, hopefully you better mesh with this new guy. Good luck and keep us posted! Edited October 16, 2022 by Alvi 1
Wiseman2 Posted October 16, 2022 Posted October 16, 2022 On 10/15/2022 at 11:50 AM, sushiandtacos said: Been on a few dates with a different guy and been having fun with him so excited to see where that goes! Good call. If you felt uneasy, as if he could ghost/stand you up, then there wasn't a good feeling about him. Good luck on the new date. 1
Author sushiandtacos Posted October 16, 2022 Author Posted October 16, 2022 @smackie9 @Alvi @Wiseman2 Thanks guys 2
Recommended Posts