GivenUp0083 Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Basically I've been friends with this girl for only a couple months, but not exactly good friends. We've had many conversations, and she's always talked about other guys to me(this was before I knew how to avoid the friend zone). She tells me everything and I sort of flirt with her now and then, but I am graduating in december and then who knows where I'm off to, so I won't be at school anymore and she has at least 2 more years left to finish. I have pretty much put my dating life on hold and not really pursued anyone knowing that I am leaving soon anyways. I've had many intelligent conversations with this girl and we've even debated about things like the friend zone. She thinks that if a guy is a girl's friend, then there's good potential for them to date. One of her ex's was a good friend for a year before they dated for 3. I guess I kinda ruled out asking her out because she's had a huge crush on a guy, but the other guy is ALSO graduating this year and won't get involved seriously with her because of it, and she thinks it's crap. She basically told me she's keeping her options open. So now I'm starting to realize she's a good girl and that I would like to date her, but I'm not sure how to approach her about it. I told her I would take her to a movie that she has told me she really wants to see. So I figure I'll try to mention something to her then. Or maybe I shouldn't? I don't know. What do you people think? Should I even bother trying to make something or do you think I'm too far in the friend zone already? If I am gonna swing for the fences, how should I bring it up to her? I'm not really nervous about it, I'm just not sure what I should even do about it. She is the type of girl that over analyzes every move I'll make if I try to make one, so if I do go for it I want it to be clear. Unless you think I should play with her head and get her thinkin too much about it. Any advice is welcome.
justsomeguy Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Since you are already friends I think you should NOT be direct with this situaion. You should informally slide into a more romantic type situation. First, you wouldn't need to date her anyway since you know her, and second you don't want to suggest anything literally because it would be more shocking since you know her in a different way already and you will always remember if she didn't accept you and that could be confusing as friends. SO Since you already have in person contact with her, you must hang out a lot. I would suggest getting more a more close to her in physical way over time and see if she starts to react to it. This should slip into things without any formal yes, or no which might be needed for people you don't already know each other, and should provide an easy out if things don't escalate.
MakeMeBeautiful Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 i am a girl in a similar situation. i've known chris for almost two years. i tell him almost everything about my relationship with other guys and he would tell me about his relationships with other girls. he once told me that he considered asking me out but he just wasn't feeling it. i told him i totally agreed. we got into the friends niche and it was comfortable. after i broke up with a guy i told him how devastated i was. i asked him if it was bad for me to date a guy on the rebound. i didn't want to stay home so i made myself go out. so chris asked me to a football game one night. we had a great time. and then that weekend we met for breakfast and went to the art museum together. later that night i had a date with my rebound guy. i told him about the date. chris sends me an email about being angry with women. later he sends me an email saying that he is not angry with all women. only a few women come to mind. he said that he didn't want to be friends with me anymore because whenever he sees me or talk to me it reminds him on how he didn't get anywhere with me like he never gets anywhere with other women who go to him and tell him about how the men in their lives suck and for once in his life he wants to be the guy who suck for some woman. i was taken aback. we decided to be friends then he changes everything on me. i was afraid that he would start liking me. i really didn't want it to happen because i wanted to remain friends. for me, once i consider a guy a friend, i would never consider a romantic relationship with him. but i know that there are great couples who start off as friends. if i were in your shoes, what i would do is hang out with her. do something kinda date-like. maybe dinner and then a movie at home. have some wine. when you are sitting on the couch watching the movie, lock eyes with her and see her reaction. if you see interest go in for a kiss.
Author GivenUp0083 Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 I'm not as great of friends with her as you guys think. We actually hardly ever hang out, we work out together like maybe twice a week for a half an hour and sometimes we talk online. I guess I'm not sure exactly if I've been ruled out yet and this girl has said she thinks being friends can develop into something more. I guess I'll just try to drop clues or something, I won't take the direct approach.
Author GivenUp0083 Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 Anyone else have any other perspectives or advice on this?
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