its_me_123 Posted October 10, 2022 Posted October 10, 2022 Hi there, i have been growing very fond of my girlfriend of late. We see each other maybe 2-3 times a week and now I'm struggling a bit when it comes to the days apart. I don't feel needy, but just miss being around her and seeing her. I am wondering if I should tell her this or if it's going to cramp her out a bit? If it's not a good idea, any tips on how I can stop feeling this way? Thanks!
Wiseman2 Posted October 10, 2022 Posted October 10, 2022 1 hour ago, its_me_123 said: . We see each other maybe 2-3 times a week and now I'm struggling a bit when it comes to the days apart. That's an awful lot already. Don't smother or expect babysitting. Make sure your life is full and interesting. Do you work? Have hobbies, interests, friends and activities you enjoy? Join some groups and clubs, volunteer, get involved in sports and fitness, take some classes and courses, get a side hustle. Stay busy and enjoy her company rather than "need" it. Don't expect anyone to be the center of your universe . It's too much pressure on them.
BaileyB Posted October 10, 2022 Posted October 10, 2022 How long have you been dating and how old are you?
glows Posted October 10, 2022 Posted October 10, 2022 Missing each other is ok, very natural, especially if you enjoy the company of the other person. Remember to stay tuned to your other commitments and try not to jump too far too quickly. Take your time getting to know one another. Why do you second guess yourself telling her? Do you worry about appearing needy or clingy? She is probably feeling the same way if the connection is mutual although 2-3 days isn’t long. I wouldn’t fight the feeling or try to get rid of it. Balance it out with other things you need to do.
smackie9 Posted October 10, 2022 Posted October 10, 2022 How old are you and how long have you been dating? And why the fear? Is she showing low interest? Other things taking priority over you?
poppyfields Posted October 10, 2022 Posted October 10, 2022 6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Don't smother or expect babysitting. This^. You need a "purpose" in your life - a hobby, work, a passion, other than her. Otherwise you will come off too needy and thirsty which will squelch any desire she initially had for you and turn her off. 1
Author its_me_123 Posted October 10, 2022 Author Posted October 10, 2022 Thanks for the replies. I'm 34 and we've been dating for about 2 months. 3 hours ago, glows said: Missing each other is ok, very natural, especially if you enjoy the company of the other person. Remember to stay tuned to your other commitments and try not to jump too far too quickly. Take your time getting to know one another. Why do you second guess yourself telling her? Do you worry about appearing needy or clingy? She is probably feeling the same way if the connection is mutual although 2-3 days isn’t long. I wouldn’t fight the feeling or try to get rid of it. Balance it out with other things you need to do. I do fear I would come across clingy
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2022 Posted October 10, 2022 (edited) If l trust your history you've been dating 3-4 weeks so you see her plenty already. It's normal to miss each other especially if you are smitten but you're a grown man, you understand it's important to not smother each other during that fragile beginning. That being said yes you can tell her your time together makes you happy, you look forward to seeing her again, you can express being excited about your path crossing...that doesn't mean you should see her every day. You will get there in a few months. Edited October 10, 2022 by Gaeta
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2022 Posted October 10, 2022 13 minutes ago, its_me_123 said: I'm 34 and we've been dating for about 2 months. Can you clarify please. Is this the woman you spoke about having your first date with on September 1st? 1
glows Posted October 10, 2022 Posted October 10, 2022 42 minutes ago, its_me_123 said: Thanks for the replies. I'm 34 and we've been dating for about 2 months. I do fear I would come across clingy Make the most of your time together and show her rather than tell her. There’s nothing wrong with expressing yourself either now and then but don’t keep repeating yourself missing her. Do you sense she’s just as interested as you are?
ShyViolet Posted October 10, 2022 Posted October 10, 2022 If you're saying that you're "struggling" on the days apart and finding it hard not being around her, you're already veering dangerously close to co-dependent thinking. It's not normal to be feeling that you're not ok being apart, and "struggling" on the days that you aren't with her. Especially when you are seeing eachother 2-3 times a week which is a very normal amount of time to be seeing each other. This isn't healthy behavior. It's fine to be really, really into someone and excited about a relationship but you should still feel "OK" and like a complete person when you're apart and not feel like you *need* to see them every day. Have you had co-dependent tendencies before? Have you been too clingy in past relationships? 2
Alpacalia Posted October 10, 2022 Posted October 10, 2022 Awe. Missing your girlfriend just means she's special to you. It's okay to keep in mind that she's off about her things. She is confident in you and the relationship and that's healthy for her. You should do the same too and not breaking down when she is not by your side. Be strong and confident about yourself. This is actually very important. Perhaps you don't have time for everything else in your life and have a hard time coping when she isn't around, but that's not healthy, and will only backfire. Your girlfriend can hear that you miss her. Just try not to tell her 20 times per day, though. : - )
BaileyB Posted October 10, 2022 Posted October 10, 2022 48 minutes ago, ShyViolet said: If you're saying that you're "struggling" on the days apart and finding it hard not being around her, you're already veering dangerously close to co-dependent thinking. Especially considering that he has only known the woman a few weeks - New relationship are exciting and yes, you want to see each other a lot initially. But, 2-3 times a week is very healthy in the early stages of a relationship - especially considering that at your age, I presume you both have jobs, maybe school, homes to maintain, other friendships, family to see, interests to explore… At this stage of the relationship, I would suggest that you miss her from afar - find something to do when you are alone and enjoy the time that you are together. 1
Wiseman2 Posted October 10, 2022 Posted October 10, 2022 2 hours ago, its_me_123 said: I'm 34 and we've been dating for about 2 months. I do fear I would come across clingy How are the dates going? Do you see each other weekends as well as sometimes during the week? What, exactly, do you mean by "struggle" when you're apart? Is she in another relationship? A busy single mother? Working 2 jobs? Why can't you stay in touch in between dates? Have you invited her over for dinner or been to her place? Have you met each others friends or family yet? Are you clingy or she keeping you at arm's length for some reason?
chillii Posted October 13, 2022 Posted October 13, 2022 (edited) On 10/11/2022 at 4:31 AM, its_me_123 said: Thanks for the replies. I'm 34 and we've been dating for about 2 months. I do fear I would come across clingy 34 dating a few mths - where does female friend come into it ? l'd assume it is much more than just a friend or why are you even dating her. At any rate a few days a wk is nothing at all if you've been together that long. Anything worthwhile or real is usually at least that by then bc your thing with ea other is just growing and that happens fast if it's real, often much faster than yours. As for your question , dk. Without actually seeing you together and just what it actually is , her, ldk it sounds kinda formal . Put it this way if it's growing for her as it should be, then nah, it won't hurt at all but then again if she's fiercely independent or has some issues yeah, it might scare her. Edited October 13, 2022 by chillii
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