When should an anniversary start?

[its_me_123]

Hi there,

I am wondering when a couple should mark their anniversary - should it be the day they met/first date or maybe the date they become bf/gf? Or something else?

Any ideas would be great, thanks!

[Wiseman2]

8 minutes ago, its_me_123 said:

I am wondering when a couple should mark their anniversary - should it be the day they met/first date 

Pick whichever feels more romantic to you.  Using "becoming official" is sort of artificial and arbitrary in itself so why not pick the first time you met?

[basil67]

My "husband" and I didn't ever get officially married.  But today we celebrated 30 years together - our date is the day we met and also the day we had sex.   Happy days 

[its_me_123]

Thanks for the replies. Also, if we met online, would you class the initial chats as the first time, or the actual physical meeting the first time?

[Wiseman2]

15 minutes ago, its_me_123 said:

Thanks for the replies. Also, if we met online, would you class the initial chats as the first time, or the actual physical meeting the first time?

. Since there's some confusion, why not pick something tangible like your first kiss. You don't have to differentiate that into french kiss or just on the lips.

How long have you been dating so far?

[its_me_123]

No kiss on the lips yet - taking it slow. It's been about 2 months now

[basil67]

So it's more complicated than meeting in person and falling into each other's arms. May I ask why you need to decide on an anniversary date so early?

 

[its_me_123]

I wanted to get something small as a token of like 2 months or 3 months since we met so wanted to work out the best date the anniversary would be.

[Alpacalia]

Hmm.

There's really no way I can tell you what the date of your anniversary "should be."

Your anniversary is something special, something unique, something that's a milestone between you two.

A small token can be a little trinket from your time together (like a ticket stub or a cork from that first bottle of wine the two of you drank under the moonlight or a photograph from that special moment).

[glows]

2 hours ago, its_me_123 said:

Hi there,

I am wondering when a couple should mark their anniversary - should it be the day they met/first date or maybe the date they become bf/gf? Or something else?

Any ideas would be great, thanks!

This is something decided on by the couple. Not other people. Why don’t you ask or chat with your partner? Some aren’t into gifts so try not to assume that it’s wanted or needed as the other party has to reciprocate or may feel they need to. At 2-3 months do you know their background or situation enough? If you’re giving gifts keep it simple and inexpensive and take your time getting to know the person. 

As a giver I often have to check myself because I don’t want to put someone in an inappropriate situation. You’re coming from a good place. You don’t need an anniversary or occasion to show someone what they mean to you.

[its_me_123]

Thanks, yes I see what you mean about making it between both of us. Was thinking of making it the first meeting date. Also, was thinking of getting an actual small gift, maybe a book or something to shar. I have some token things, but not from back then.

Thanks for the advice 

[glows]

I think you may be complicating this with an arbitrary anniversary. If you’d like to share the actual material within a book or have a relevant topic to talk about with your partner focus on connecting on that topic, bring the book with you, see what they think and if they seem to take interest in the book, you can let them have it without expecting it back. 

The emphasis is sharing thoughts and experiences together, not necessarily about dates anniversaries or gifting.

[its_me_123]

Thanks for the advice. Will have a talk with them and maybe not make a huge deal out of things

[Alpacalia]

22 minutes ago, its_me_123 said:

Thanks, yes I see what you mean about making it between both of us.

Exactly.

It's between the two of you. 

[glows]

12 minutes ago, its_me_123 said:

Thanks for the advice. Will have a talk with them and maybe not make a huge deal out of things

Welcome, again it is about the both of you. Just be mindful that someone else may approach anniversaries and gifts differently. You seem thoughtful. 

[its_me_123]

Just want her to know I notice things so if I didn't get a gift or something I could have just said "yes happy anniversary too" and may look like I didn't know or be bothered.

[Alpacalia]

No worries, OP, you're fine.

 

[glows]

14 minutes ago, its_me_123 said:

Just want her to know I notice things so if I didn't get a gift or something I could have just said "yes happy anniversary too" and may look like I didn't know or be bothered.

Do what you feel is best. You are the one dating her. Less emphasis on giving for the sake of giving and more about those experiences together. Try not to rush things. It’s still early days.

By the way please quote the section or post from the person you’re responding to.

Edited October 2, 2022 by glows

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, its_me_123 said:

I wanted to get something small as a token of like 2 months or 3 months since we met so wanted to work out the best date the anniversary would be.

If you would like to surprise her with something, that's fine. You don't need an anniversary of anything for that. 

[Lotsgoingon]

Couples have fun figuring this out ... and even disagreeing. 

Heads up: the quality of the relationship isn't determined by the frequency of anniversary celebrations. Just keep having fun and getting to know each other. 

[Ami1uwant]

4 hours ago, its_me_123 said:

Thanks for the replies. Also, if we met online, would you class the initial chats as the first time, or the actual physical meeting the first time?

With online….I view it as when you first met face to face or when you first be a e a couple.  In the latter it’s more applicable to someone you have known 10+ years then you start to date or be a relationship.

 

 

[poppyfields]

5 hours ago, its_me_123 said:

No kiss on the lips yet - taking it slow. It's been about 2 months now

Hmm, can you expound on this^?

Two months is a long time with no kiss, are you sure you're actually dating?  

Serious question.  No judgment, just curious if you care to share. 

In any event, you don't need a specific reason to buy her a small gift, a token of your affection. 

Those are the best gifts imo, when you give from your heart and not because of some obligatory contrived holiday. 

To answer your question though, an anniversary is whatever you want it to be and it's between the two of you. 

PS:   When you decide you want to kiss her and escalate this "friendship," that could be your anniversary and a lovely gift in and of itself. 

If she's into you, I bet she will love it!  A gift does not have to be material in nature. 

 

Edited October 2, 2022 by poppyfields

[Els]

Each to their own, but any mention of "anniversary" at only TWO MONTHS of dating would be absolutely perplexing for me.

[Hopeful30]

I have no idea. Depends on the guy and what counts for him. With one ex boyfriend, we sat down and decided our anniversary because neither of us knew when we met or went on first date