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Why is this 31/f coworker acting so strange with me 30/m


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3 minutes ago, bobdole1123 said:

wait why Don't you think i observe boundaries very well? what are you talking about? 

Why don't you look over your post and try to see where one would get that impression?

Edited by NuevoYorko
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53 minutes ago, bobdole1123 said:

 he texted me saying 'don't text me on my personal phone about work realted things, contact me on my work number for work related things.'....

Is he in a relationship? Just curious why in your other three threads you just started on this topic, you described him as a "girl"?

Edited by Wiseman2
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This poster has posted before as a man in other threads but didn’t take the hint when the female subordinate wasn’t interested. 

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Fallenfromthesky

My love life had a promising start but went sideways, just like that. There's this girl ( her age is 23 and I'm 34) who joined my company this year beginning. Initially, our conversations were purely work-related. But soon, it developed into a romantic one. We used to flirt with each other. Spent time with each other. Then, one day I felt she was using me for attention, so I ignored her. I even told her I don't like playing games (My previous relationship left me heartbroken). After which, she started going crazy for me. She even told another employee that I don't talk to her anymore. She stalks me (WhatsApp stories). I felt I was doing wrong to her, so I messaged her late in the night saying, 'You're not good at masking your feelings. Try harder'. The next day morning, she exploded at me telling that my message was inappropriate and vulgar (Basically she misinterpreted my message). The funny thing's she had some about this to my senior who told me to stop pursuing her and stop harassing her, etc., which wasn't the case at all. She even sent me a mail in her office ID that I should stop sending her messages that are not work-related or she'll take this matter to the Higher Authorities. Which left me gobsmacked. Then, I see a change in her behaviour. She's not that talkative. She remains silent and she looks at me very often. She also uploads reels about relationships -- cryptic videos of her blabbering about threatening to do something if the supposed person runs away, telling she's going crazy because that person is ignoring her she has chosen him as her king, about true love, etc. One day, I uploaded a story with a quote that people lose a good connection because they misinterpret words or ghost without sharing their feelings (It was a deep quote). I noticed her Insta reels are now more intense and all about relationships lately. She even once tried to speak to me but stopped in the middle. 

Long story short, I know she likes me a lot and I like her very much. But the tragedy is I can't share my feelings because of the mail she had sent me. I feel scared of losing my job but also day by day I miss talking to her and am falling for her. What should I do? 

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3 hours ago, Fallenfromthesky said:

 she had some about this to my senior who told me to stop pursuing her and stop harassing her, etc., She even sent me a mail in her office ID that I should stop sending her messages that are not work-related or she'll take this matter to the Higher Authorities.

All you can do is be professional at work and stop contacting her. Sexual harassment complaints can cost you your job. Date outside of work. Delete and block her from all your social media and personal messaging apps. 

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You are on thin ice here.  You need to stop interacting with her in non-work related ways.  Stop looking at her social media.  In fact, block her so you can't see her stuff or contact / be contacted by her.  Just use work channels for work related things.  No more personal interaction between you and this woman. Try to stop thinking about her and what she's up to.  

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Just leave her alone, OP. You were already warned twice: once by her and second by someone more senior. It doesn’t matter how it started out. If someone says stop, you stop. 

Losing your job isn’t the half of it. You may get a restraining order or she files a report for criminal harassment. Criminal harassment alone is punishable with considerable time in prison depending on jurisdiction.

Try not to fixate on her. Look at ways you can improve yourself. Move on and grow with your career if you feel you’re stagnating or bored out of your mind. Whatever it is stop what you’re doing and the fantasy assuming she likes you. None of what she posts online is an invitation to keep going with what you’re doing.

Edited by glows
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