Date with an escort

[Maldives]

Hey all, Ok. This is normally not my style and to be honest I don't think I'll ever go down this path again. It was only because someone showed me attention and I've kind of been starved of it. To be honest haven't been on a date for ages. Anyway, that's a little bit of context from where I'm coming from. 

So I got to know an escort through Instagram. Well she reached out to me after I followed her. Don't ask how I followed her. I just sometimes for funs sake look at personal ads and saw hers. Anyway, I followed her. She followed me back. She started thanking me for liking her photos in Messenger like personal message and I'd respond saying ok. No problem anyway, kind of started to escalate a little bit where she was complimenting me, how good I look etc. And then she started saying things like we'd make a perfect couple and maybe you found the one already. I don't know if it was a joke but then it escalated again and she wanted to video call. At that point I was trying to resist because I know her job and I know better and I've actually been down this path once before but being starved of attention kind of left me a little bit weak so to speak so we did a video call etc. Anyway, my point is she was visiting my town this week and she landed etc and I reached out to a asking if she wanted to catch up to which she replied yes and to book her in as in a fee for service arrangement which I was completely a taken aback and surprised to which I responded and said no. There was no mention of a money exchange for her services up to this point btw. And then I went on to say I thought this was something else and that she'd lead me on and not to contact me again. I'm totally perplexed why she would want to video call go to that extent and then it was all about a money exchange or was it? I'd love for your thoughts and I know I'm probably going to get hammered here with why even take interest in an escort. And I know I was thinking the same thing and trying to reason but she was so pretty and to have that kind of attention I guess pulled me in look forward to your responses.

 

Edited September 29, 2022 by Goodguy05

[Weezy1973]

No criticism from me. I’m sure her marketing techniques work on some men. It didn’t work on you. I suspect it feels crappy, but you still didn’t fall for her tricks. 

[Wiseman2]

50 minutes ago, Goodguy05 said:

 There was no mention of a money exchange for her services up to this point btw. 

Is it legal where you are? Escorts and customers have to be careful if it's not legal in your jurisdiction.

[Maldives]

3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is it legal where you are? Escorts and customers have to be careful if it's not legal in your jurisdiction.

Ye it is there's whole websites dedicated to escort services and personals 

[Wiseman2]

47 minutes ago, Goodguy05 said:

 there's whole websites dedicated to escort services and personals 

Ok well that's not dating then is it?

[Maldives]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Ok well that's not dating then is it?

Certainly isn't. However, I had no idea she was going to start reaching out to me on Instagram and my intention wasn't a date initially was just a follow her  Instagram. I've not had that before where an escorts reached out like that 

[BaileyB]

What she did is called ‘bait and switch.’ She was marketing - she got your interest and then she shared the terms of purchase. 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Goodguy05 said:

Certainly isn't. However, I had no idea she was going to start reaching out to me on Instagram and my intention wasn't a date initially was just a follow her  Instagram. I've not had that before where an escorts reached out like that 

IG is now a frequent marketing tool for sex workers of all types. Perhaps trying to create the "GF experience"? Or hide their profession for legal reasons. It's different contacting an escort more directly for explicit services than dating someone who happens to be an escort. Perhaps using IG is more confusing as more discretion may be necessary.

[Maldives]

Yep agree re the "girlfriend experience" she had that on her profile her escort profile not insta but was all over it. I got myself invested I think it's wrong to mislead someone like that. 

[Maldives]

1 hour ago, BaileyB said:

What she did is called ‘bait and switch.’ She was marketing - she got your interest and then she shared the terms of purchase. 

She sure did a great actress so great I thought it was real lol. 

[Ami1uwant]

Didn’t Craigslist shut the escort stuff from their site

[Maldives]

This wasn't craigslist. This was just a local site

Edited September 29, 2022 by Goodguy05

[mark clemson]

5 hours ago, Goodguy05 said:

she replied yes and to book her in as in a fee for service arrangement which I was completely a taken aback and surprised to which I responded and said no. There was no mention of a money exchange for her services up to this point btw. And then I went on to say I thought this was something else and that she'd lead me on and not to contact me again. I'm totally perplexed why she would want to video call go to that extent and then it was all about a money exchange or was it? I'd love for your thoughts

I believe it's called "reeling you in slowly." 

I suspect some guys she will let them (pay to) take her on a date and then they feel there's "something there" and some might send her money just on request or for more of her attention etc. This sort of thing is why you sometimes see "simping" being bashed. Being nice to a woman isn't bad, but taken to an extreme it's negative and can be exploitative.

Edited September 29, 2022 by mark clemson

[glows]

1 hour ago, BaileyB said:

What she did is called ‘bait and switch.’ She was marketing - she got your interest and then she shared the terms of purchase. 

Agree. I don’t see any emotions or interest involved except monetary. I am so sorry you’re feeling taken aback. 

[introverted1]

When someone's livelihood revolves around being paid to go on dates, it stands to reason that money is the motivation for setting the stage for a date. I think perhaps your naivete in the situation led you to see her "interest" as personal rather than professional.  A good escort is trained to make the man feel that he is, indeed, special.  This is what allows escorts to charge higher fees than run-of-the-mill prostitutes, where the interaction is clearly transactional.  Escorts are engaging in a transaction, too, but part of what you pay for is the ability to "date" the escort and have the date play out in a more traditional way.

 

[AngryGromit]

7 hours ago, Goodguy05 said:

So I got to know an escort through Instagram.

Did you know she was an escort before she asked you for money? Seems like a lot of work to get clients when there are so many websites that service that market without beating around the bush.

[Els]

I think it's really obvious that if you interact with someone on their professional page on Instagram, it can be assumed that your interest in her is professional. She didn't lead you on at all, it's just standard marketing.

[ExpatInItaly]

This is a marketing technique, as the others have pointed out. 

And it's not a lot of work for her to message and video-call a potential client. Very little effort on her part, and I would imagine it generally works pretty well.  It's part of what she does and you were probably one of many calling with her that day. You likely received exactly the same messages as all the other guys who slide into her DMs. 

Let this be a lesson: never confuse attention from a professional sex-worker as sincere interest in you. 

[Maldives]

4 hours ago, AngryGromit said:

Did you know she was an escort before she asked you for money? Seems like a lot of work to get clients when there are so many websites that service that market without beating around the bush.

Yes, I knew. I found her through the personals but only followed her on Instagram. I didn't reach out to her. She started reaching out to me when I was liking her posts. Just saying things like thanks for liking my post but then she started saying that I looked good and  seeing us as a couple and that I'd be perfect for her and then it went to a video call. I've followed other escorts just for their photos  but it's never gone to this level.  Most don't even follow you back. My last message or two to her was that she was a great actor before shutting it down.  That's why I got confused and thought maybe it meant something. Obviously it didn't

Edited September 29, 2022 by Goodguy05

[Maldives]

2 hours ago, Elswyth said:

I think it's really obvious that if you interact with someone on their professional page on Instagram, it can be assumed that your interest in her is professional. She didn't lead you on at all, it's just standard marketing.

I agree with that. Except for the fact that I didn't interact with her, she was interacting with me and kept reaching out to me

Edited September 29, 2022 by Goodguy05

[ExpatInItaly]

6 minutes ago, Goodguy05 said:

Except for the fact that I didn't interact with her, she was interacting with me and kept reaching it to me

She has something to sell. 

You need to operate under the assumption that she was fishing for clients. 

[Maldives]

2 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

She has something to sell. 

You need to operate under the assumption that she was fishing for clients. 

Yep, that's my final conclusion as well.As confusing as this experience has been I'm starting to think that's what it may have been. When she came here she didn't reach out to me though. I had to reach out to her after a few days so that's the only other thing that leaves me a little bit perplexed by the whole thing. 

[Els]

22 hours ago, Goodguy05 said:

I agree with that. Except for the fact that I didn't interact with her, she was interacting with me and kept reaching out to me

You "followed" her on her professional page. It's very common for businesspeople to follow up with new potential clients in this manner, especially those who primarily depend on a few well-paying customers rather than the masses.

I really don't understand how you can't see the difference. You found her instagram page from an escort ad. Surely it is obvious therefore that any communication from that page is from "her professional identity", and not "her personal identity"?

[Wiseman2]

22 hours ago, Goodguy05 said:

 I didn't interact with her, she was interacting with me and kept reaching out to me

The stores I do business with keep doing that to me too. Coupons, free samples, 20% off, free delivery, etc., etc., etc. Marketing is marketing. Times are tough. 

[Maldives]

32 minutes ago, Elswyth said:

You "followed" her on her professional page. It's very common for businesspeople to follow up with new potential clients in this manner, especially those who primarily depend on a few well-paying customers rather than the masses.

I really don't understand how you can't see the difference. You found her instagram page from an escort ad. Surely it is obvious therefore that any communication from that page is from "her professional identity", and not "her personal identity"?

I see your logic but I can tell you from experience because I've followed escorts in the past cos I like to look at their photos and none have interacted like that with me. I just thought it was unusual but again you're probably right. It's just a business thing you know will. Obviously it was in the end