Nina2000 Posted September 24, 2022 Posted September 24, 2022 Hi so I’ve recently decided to hop on some dating apps, been talking to a few guys but one of particular has really got my attention. We’ve been talking for about two weeks, get on really well conversation really flows but he can be a bit inconsistent - and I can’t help but be that girl who checks when someone is active on social media, so I’ve seen that he’s ignores me sometimes when he’s clearly not too busy to reply - not a major problem just a bit annoying :/. Anyways we were talking quite consistently this week and he asked me when I was next in town, saying he’d like to see me - I said I wasn’t sure but I’d let him know if and when. So turns out I am in town this weekend so I messaged him to let him know and he’s ignored my message for two days now. I was very prepared to get over it and move on to the next but he’s still been interacting with me on Instagram (he liked my story lol - a selfie). So it thought this was my way back in but surprise surprise he’s no replied. What I need to know basically is does this seem like he’s now uninterested? And would it come off desperate or cringe if I were to double text him? I’m just so confused because it seemed like we were hitting it off (which is a rarity over text in my experience) and I’m now questioning everything about myself. And if you think it wouldn’t be weird to text again, what do I even say? Pls and thanks help a girl out x
Wiseman2 Posted September 24, 2022 Posted September 24, 2022 5 minutes ago, Nina2000 said: Hi so I’ve recently decided to hop on some dating apps, been talking to a few guys but one of particular has really got my attention .We’ve been talking for about two weeks It's great you're out dating again. The number one thing to do is rule out timewasters early on to prevent burnout. This includes anyone from a significant distance, anyone who won't or cant meet in a timely manner. Write anyone who won't make plans to meet say within a week or two off. This helps get rid of weirdos, married people, catfish, scammers and other assorted undesirables. Plus. You need to meet in person to determine attraction/chemistry. You could suggest meeting for a coffee/drink with the one you are interested in however he is ignoring you and that's not looking good. Another important thing to keep in mind is that texting is not dating and "online dating" is sort of a misnomer. It's actually a collection of people's profiles in your area who are interested in meeting someone.
introverted1 Posted September 25, 2022 Posted September 25, 2022 18 hours ago, Nina2000 said: What I need to know basically is 1. does this seem like he’s now uninterested? 2. And would it come off desperate or cringe if I were to double text him? 1. He's keeping you warm but he's low interest. 2. Doesn't matter - it won't change anything. He knows how to set up a date and is choosing not to.
glows Posted September 25, 2022 Posted September 25, 2022 (edited) 21 hours ago, Nina2000 said: Hi so I’ve recently decided to hop on some dating apps, been talking to a few guys but one of particular has really got my attention. We’ve been talking for about two weeks, get on really well conversation really flows but he can be a bit inconsistent - and I can’t help but be that girl who checks when someone is active on social media, so I’ve seen that he’s ignores me sometimes when he’s clearly not too busy to reply - not a major problem just a bit annoying :/. Anyways we were talking quite consistently this week and he asked me when I was next in town, saying he’d like to see me - I said I wasn’t sure but I’d let him know if and when. So turns out I am in town this weekend so I messaged him to let him know and he’s ignored my message for two days now. I was very prepared to get over it and move on to the next but he’s still been interacting with me on Instagram (he liked my story lol - a selfie). So it thought this was my way back in but surprise surprise he’s no replied. What I need to know basically is does this seem like he’s now uninterested? And would it come off desperate or cringe if I were to double text him? I’m just so confused because it seemed like we were hitting it off (which is a rarity over text in my experience) and I’m now questioning everything about myself. And if you think it wouldn’t be weird to text again, what do I even say? Pls and thanks help a girl out x His lack of response is a response.. Maybe he likes social media and reacts to posts there like a knee jerk reaction and isn’t interested in making more of an effort. He may not even realize it’s you posting and just likes whatever comes out or pops up in his latest feed. You can decide whether it’s something you care for and see him or his behaviours for exactly what they are. Not enough interest. The bottomline is there are no plans and he’s not responded. I’d say two days is fair in considering this a no go and making new plans. No need to text again. Enjoy your weekend. Edited September 25, 2022 by glows
Red2016 Posted September 25, 2022 Posted September 25, 2022 Do not double text. He has already told you how he feels based on his actions. I would move past him - he is inconsistent and uninterested. Plenty of other fish in the ocean!
stillafool Posted September 25, 2022 Posted September 25, 2022 21 hours ago, Nina2000 said: I was very prepared to get over it and move on to the next but he’s still been interacting with me on Instagram (he liked my story lol - a selfie). So it thought this was my way back in but surprise surprise he’s no replied. What I need to know basically is does this seem like he’s now uninterested? And would it come off desperate or cringe if I were to double text him? I don't think liking your selfie is really interacting with you. He hasn't replied nor gotten back to you this whole weekend. Yes it would come off desperate and cringe worthy to continue to chase after this guy when he's showing he's lost interest.
poppyfields Posted September 25, 2022 Posted September 25, 2022 21 hours ago, Nina2000 said: So turns out I am in town this weekend so I messaged him to let him know and he’s ignored my message for two days now. ^Apparently he likes you, but only when it's from a distance. As soon as you attempted to close that distance gap, he lost interest. I rarely say this but if you're interested in dating a real live person, in person (versus a fantasy image) then he's a time waster and full of you know what. . He enjoys interacting over text and internet, I'm sure you're not the only one either. There are many people, both men and women, who prefer this type of interaction. In fact they seek them out by only messaging those who live a distance away. As soon as an attempt is made to close the gap and meet in person, they're gone. No do not double text is my advice. I've made that mistake in the past, double texted, triple texted! Also a cyber interaction. It served no good purpose or any purpose.
ShyViolet Posted September 25, 2022 Posted September 25, 2022 Never chase someone who has low interest in you. It is cringey and desperate and you can do better than that. I would not text this guy again. Next.
Alpacalia Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 Given the distance, it's unlikely he's taking it too seriously. I would just go about my business and let him reach out.
smackie9 Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 Everyone has some expectation when dating but you need to take things with a grain of salt. They may seem keen on the date but it's the action or lack of reaction after the date that should speak volumes to you.... that this ain't gonna go anywhere.
NuevoYorko Posted September 26, 2022 Posted September 26, 2022 On 9/24/2022 at 11:15 AM, Nina2000 said: I’m just so confused because it seemed like we were hitting it off (which is a rarity over text in my experience) and I’m now questioning everything about myself. I don't think you've ever even met him yet his texting habits have you questioning everything about yourself? If your self esteem is this precarious, you really are not in a good place to be dating at all. Yikes.
BDDazza Posted October 1, 2022 Posted October 1, 2022 ff On 9/24/2022 at 7:15 PM, Nina2000 said: Hi so I’ve recently decided to hop on some dating apps, been talking to a few guys but one of particular has really got my attention. We’ve been talking for about two weeks, get on really well conversation really flows but he can be a bit inconsistent - and I can’t help but be that girl who checks when someone is active on social media, so I’ve seen that he’s ignores me sometimes when he’s clearly not too busy to reply - not a major problem just a bit annoying :/. Anyways we were talking quite consistently this week and he asked me when I was next in town, saying he’d like to see me - I said I wasn’t sure but I’d let him know if and when. So turns out I am in town this weekend so I messaged him to let him know and he’s ignored my message for two days now. I was very prepared to get over it and move on to the next but he’s still been interacting with me on Instagram (he liked my story lol - a selfie). So it thought this was my way back in but surprise surprise he’s no replied. What I need to know basically is does this seem like he’s now uninterested? And would it come off desperate or cringe if I were to double text him? I’m just so confused because it seemed like we were hitting it off (which is a rarity over text in my experience) and I’m now questioning everything about myself. And if you think it wouldn’t be weird to text again, what do I even say? Pls and thanks help a girl out x Why are you on his social media and Instagram, the purpose of the dating site is to get him on a date not become another social media friend. I think in this situation you need to become more explicit with your intension. He ask you out once and you brushed him off, now you're free you cannot expect him to come running! Spend the next interaction to take the lead to arrange a date, if he doesn't reciprocate then he is a time waster.
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