Acacia98 Posted September 27, 2022 Posted September 27, 2022 8 hours ago, basil67 said: Some posters can give excellent advice to others, yet make bad decisions over and over again in their own lives. So yes, perhaps your judgement hasn't always been the best, but the rest of us here are far from perfect. Nobody is perfect. I'm definitely guilty of this. 1 hour ago, Ami1uwant said: I recall one time I was in my early 20s and my sister was in her late teens. My parents were out of town for a week so we were home alone. When they were gone I did things. My sister was shocked. When they came home she’s like you’d ne er guess but he did all these things. I said she was nuts….I didn’t. They believed me. This is so sad. I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I'm glad you succeeded.
Author ironpony Posted September 27, 2022 Author Posted September 27, 2022 Thank you for the advice everyone! I'll try to respond to some of the individual responses as soon as I can. But as far moving out girls, I would like to buy a place instead of rent as I thought that would save money. However, I'm not sure where I want to live because I haven't found a job I like yet and shouldn't I get a job I like more, before determining where to live in case it's in a different city?
poppyfields Posted September 27, 2022 Posted September 27, 2022 (edited) 10 hours ago, Ami1uwant said: From my own personal experience…. my parents thought that they’d have to take care of me the rest of my life when I was a teen. They didn’t believe I could succeed. It bothered me. I was determined to prove them wrong and I did. i have a mild genetic form of aspergers/ASD that runs in my mothers family. I have a cousin who wasn’t classic aspergers but he was worse than me. He could take care of himself. He did online dating and he found someone. his mom told me it would like she had a magic key that got him to open up and be a different person. with the OP she might be that type of person. i ran into this with my parents, especially my mom, she would constantly criticize what I did I basically said forget it. Nothing I did would have satisfied her. He might be in a similar environment with his parents where they didn’t encourage him. Rather than conflict with them, he just lets them do it to avoid the problems. i recall one time I was in my early 20s and my sister was in her late teens. My parents were out of town for a week so we were home alone. When they were gone I did things. My sister was shocked. When they came home she’s like you’d ne er guess but he did all these things. I said she was nuts….I didn’t. They believed me. @Ami1uwantI just want to say you are a true inspiration to those who struggle with such 'disorders' if that's even the right word. I don't always agree with you but the fact you're on this forum contributing, providing insight, opinion and advice is so admirable, again a true inspiration. Kudos to you for stepping out of the proverbial box and helping yourself. Hopefully the OP can learn something from you and take steps towards becoming the functioning independent adult you have become. Continued good luck and well wishes and same to you @ironpony. Edited September 27, 2022 by poppyfields
basil67 Posted September 27, 2022 Posted September 27, 2022 (edited) On 9/27/2022 at 4:57 AM, ironpony said: Thank you for the advice everyone! I'll try to respond to some of the individual responses as soon as I can. But as far moving out girls, I would like to buy a place instead of rent as I thought that would save money. However, I'm not sure where I want to live because I haven't found a job I like yet and shouldn't I get a job I like more, before determining where to live in case it's in a different city? Kindly, you're all over the place with different ideas. [] If I recall correctly, it's your parents who say that buying is preferable to renting. But it doesn't make sense that they'd be suggesting this if they are also telling you that you'd fail at living alone. The problems of living alone can be overcome with the right assistance and technology, but nobody has been skilling you up in these areas. Out of curiosity, have you discussed how much rent you'd have to pay if you live with your girlfriend? If so, do you earn enough to cover your share of the rent which you'd have to pay if you live at your girlfriends? Affordable rent is generally considered to be no more than 30% of your income. If you can't afford your share of her rent, then the whole discussion of whether you should live with her is pointless. Same if you don't earn enough to repay a mortgage Edited September 28, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Off topic 1
Author ironpony Posted September 27, 2022 Author Posted September 27, 2022 12 minutes ago, basil67 said: Kindly, you're all over the place with different ideas. If you want to buy a place, you'll need to forget the movie and keep the money you've saved as a down payment on the residence. And having a job you like isn't what you need, it's having a job which pays enough to cover a mortgage and living expenses. Obviously having both enjoyment and good money is optimal, but of the two, $$$ is more important. If I recall correctly, it's your parents who say that buying is preferable to renting. But it doesn't make sense that they'd be suggesting this if they are also telling you that you'd fail at living alone. The problems of living alone can be overcome with the right assistance and technology, but nobody has been skilling you up in these areas. Out of curiosity, have you discussed how much rent you'd have to pay if you live with your girlfriend? If so, do you earn enough to cover your share of the rent which you'd have to pay if you live at your girlfriends? Affordable rent is generally considered to be no more than 30% of your income. If you can't afford your share of her rent, then the whole discussion of whether you should live with her is pointless. Same if you don't earn enough to repay a mortgage That's a good point. I told my girlfriend that I wanted to make the movie first before buying the house to see how much I have left after that. However. Since I'm starting pre-production on it and going to attempt to make it again now, perhaps that will get done before we move in together, if that happens.
Happy Lemming Posted September 28, 2022 Posted September 28, 2022 15 hours ago, ironpony said: Since I'm starting pre-production on it... CONGRATS!! Really glad to hear you are making your movie, best of luck!! Follow your dream!!
Els Posted September 28, 2022 Posted September 28, 2022 On 9/27/2022 at 9:57 PM, ironpony said: Thank you for the advice everyone! I'll try to respond to some of the individual responses as soon as I can. But as far moving out girls, I would like to buy a place instead of rent as I thought that would save money. However, I'm not sure where I want to live because I haven't found a job I like yet and shouldn't I get a job I like more, before determining where to live in case it's in a different city? You 100% do not want to buy a house right off the bat when you have never lived alone before and never rented before. You would have no idea what to look out for, and you would easily be taken for a ride by an unscrupulous real estate agent. Most of us have rented a terrible house when we were naive and inexperienced, but because we rented (instead of bought), we just needed to wait for the lease to be over before moving out. If you buy wrong, you're basically stuck with a house you can't sell, and you'll be repaying it for the next 20-30 years. 1
Author ironpony Posted September 28, 2022 Author Posted September 28, 2022 37 minutes ago, Elswyth said: You 100% do not want to buy a house right off the bat when you have never lived alone before and never rented before. You would have no idea what to look out for, and you would easily be taken for a ride by an unscrupulous real estate agent. Most of us have rented a terrible house when we were naive and inexperienced, but because we rented (instead of bought), we just needed to wait for the lease to be over before moving out. If you buy wrong, you're basically stuck with a house you can't sell, and you'll be repaying it for the next 20-30 years. Oh well I thought my dad could help since he owns a house and knows carpentry and structural engineering and you already helped my sister get her house, unless that's still not a good choice?
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