betweenHaH Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 I just wanted to see if anyone out there feels the same way, and if so could they lend any advise... I've been with my girlfriend for a long time, she's started bringing up marriage but I'm not so sure she's the one for me long-term. On one hand we have more in common than most couples do and we generally have a good time together. On the other hand she does so many things that bother me that I wonder if I'll ever be completely happy. The one time we almost broke up something inside me couldn't let her go, but I so constantly feel unsatisfied with our relationship. I've had girlfriends in the past who I've ended the relationship with but was left regretting it for the rest of my life. I'm just scared that if I end this one that it will just add another regret to my already long list. I'm sick of regretting decisions to the point where I've battled suicidal thoughts for most of my adult life. I'm scared that if I stay with her I'll regret it, but equally scared that if I end the relationship I will regret that just as much. I don't want to hurt her but at the same time I want my own happiness. The obvious answer seems to be that I should end it but I just don't think it's that cut-and-dry. Anyone have any thoughts?...
Outcast Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 Don't marry someone unless you LOVE the idea of spending the rest of your life with that person. Don't marry her because you have a checklist of 'ok qualities' for her. Don't marry her because you're used to each other. Don't marry because it's the expected thing. Only marry when you enjoy someone's company so much that you want it on a continued basis for the rest of your life. I've had girlfriends in the past who I've ended the relationship with but was left regretting it for the rest of my life. I'm just scared that if I end this one that it will just add another regret to my already long list. I'm sick of regretting decisions to the point where I've battled suicidal thoughts for most of my adult life. And why did you regret those decisions? Because you were left alone? If you are chronically depressed and unable to enjoy life, then you need treatment and should seek it out.
Author betweenHaH Posted October 26, 2005 Author Posted October 26, 2005 Thanks for the response, I am now checking into whether or not my companies insurance covers therapy. I basically wanted to see if anyone else out there was struggling with this same conflict; it's always nice to know I'm not the only one going crazy for this reason. I honestly don't think it's anything wrong with her, mainly me, I may look 'normal' but inside I'm a like a strobe light of disturbing images that haunt my every step.
magda Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 To a degree, things will always "annoy" you no matter who you decide to spend your life with. The problem is whether these are little things or big things. Is it you or is it her, so to speak. Therapy might be a good way to sort this out for yourself. GGood luck! Out of curiousity, how long have you been see each other?
Ruff Ryder Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 Listen to this sayin "dont marry someone you can live with RATHER marry someone you cant live without" Regret is a terrible thing. I have many times thought back and wonderd what "if" and you waana know something if you look back in life and love then how the hell you going to know where your going? Rather keep looking foward to what you have keep your eye on what you want and keep your hear where it is giving and reciving love. Never ever marry someone that you cant see your self being happy with. Marrige is a one second decission its a life choice THE REST OF YOUR LIFE so be very cearfull in what you decide. If you had a problem letting go of this girl before then there is def something there all you have to do is find that thing. Make decissions that will make you happy AND DONT LOOK BACK if you dont look back you cant regret anything it happens for a reason so stay focused on the present and future that is all you can change not the past so why worrie? Hope that helps a bit. Good luck Ruff Ryder
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