How to get sex

[poppyfields]

3 minutes ago, Akashsingh said:

I have also been rejected in the past for not having any type of physical contact by 2nd date. Those ladies were cute and I was interested in them. So its kinda tricky.

I didn't say no physical contact, just not prolonged make out sessions for first couple of dates.  

Physical contact can be subtle.  Leave her wondering and wanting more. 

My advice were you seeking a relationship with relationship-minded women would be different but for casual sexual encounters, it's best to play it like this imho. 

 

Edited September 18, 2022 by poppyfields

[Akashsingh]

11 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

I didn't say no physical contact, just not prolonged make out sessions for first couple of dates.  

Physical contact can be subtle.  Leave her wondering and wanting more. 

My advice were you seeking a relationship with relationship-minded women would be different but for casual sexual encounters, it's best to play it like this imho. 

 

Thank you, so curious how the advice would differ for relationship seeking people, should they try multiple make out sessions? Its not that I am only looking for one night stand , more like no long term commitment or aka FWB.

Edited September 18, 2022 by Akashsingh

[basil67]

"Closing a deal" refers to a business arrangement where both are seeing a mutually beneficial arrangement with each other.  With regards to sex, you can close a deal with a sex worker but for a woman who's not a working girl, there is no deal to close.  Rather, it's about finding mutual connection and mutual desire.   Dating and having sex rely primarily on having attraction, chemistry..  It's a coming together of two people who want the same thing.   

There are some sexy, charismatic and beautiful people who many will throw themselves at for sex.  But for the hoi polloi, most people we meet don't actually want to have sex with us.  So if you're getting sex here and there, then it's probably as good as it's going to get.

[basil67]

10 minutes ago, Akashsingh said:

Thank you, so curious how the advice would differ for relationship seeking people, should they try multiple make out sessions? Its not that I am only looking for one night stand , more like no long term commitment or aka FWB.

That's easy.  Don't try and find 'FWB with someone who's seeking a relationship because you'll likely fail.  You need focus on people who are wanting casual dating

[poppyfields]

17 minutes ago, Akashsingh said:

Thank you, so do you recommend multiple make out sessions for relationship minded people? Its not that I am only looking for one night stand , more like no long term commitment.

I don't recommend long make-out sessions for anyone, whether they seek casual or a relationship.  Unless and until they both decide to become sexually intimate. 

With relationship-minded women, you want to take your time, talking, asking questions, making effort to get to know each other.  Spending quality time together.   

For casual sexual encounters, as I said, there's you being playfully arrogant, teasing, bantering.  Less questions, less time and effort getting to know each other on a personal level. 

It's a different mindset and courting process. 

It's best to figure out what you want and what the woman wants - casual or relationship. 

Because again, the journey is different for each. 

Edited September 18, 2022 by poppyfields

[Akashsingh]

48 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

I don't recommend long make-out sessions for anyone, whether they seek casual or a relationship.  Unless and until they both decide to become sexually intimate. 

With relationship-minded women, you want to take your time, talking, asking questions, making effort to get to know each other.  Spending quality time together.   

For casual sexual encounters, as I said, there's you being playfully arrogant, teasing, bantering.  Less questions, less time and effort getting to know each other on a personal level. 

It's a different mindset and courting process. 

It's best to figure out what you want and what the woman wants - casual or relationship. 

Because again, the journey is different for each. 

Thanks much , this was helpful.

[Alpacalia]

5 hours ago, glows said:

Less focus on sex. Focus on these women as people. What you’re looking for sounds transactional and cold. I can’t even tell if you like these women and respect seems borderline or nonexistent.

Agree.

You're trying to entice women off of dating apps, but they're not interested.

Why not just try and find a woman who is open to some fun with no strings attached.

It will save you a lot of time and effort.

 

Edited September 18, 2022 by Alpacalia

[BrinnM]

A very good male friend does this on a regular basis:

 

During the first date (where you look your best & smell good), you just need to be “funny” and easy to talk to. Then you make a little bit of physical contact by touching arms and hands and you smile a lot - you have a few drinks and then you start the “eye stare” (sounds disturbing, but he’s actually really good at it) ——> that will create some kind of a “connection” allegedly, and even if it’s a fake connection, it’s still a connection nonetheless. And then you leave. Even if they’re “ready”.
During the next date - where you do pretty much the same (and he ALWAYS pays special attention to his outfit &  cologne) - you should be able to have them melt in your hands (suggest a nightcap at your place; have quality liquor (grey goose, Bombay sapphire), and wines in stock). He says it works. Important: let the convo flow easily, and let them talk about themselves a lot.  

Edited September 18, 2022 by BrinnM

[Mrin]

10 hours ago, Akashsingh said:

I am playerish because monogamy is boring for me and I am fiercely independent too.

Use the Feeld app

[Wiseman2]

15 hours ago, Akashsingh said:

The quality of women on adult only apps is quite low. 

He doesn't like those apps. 

3 hours ago, Mrin said:

Use the Feeld app

OP, you unfortunately seem to be looking for a magical solution and although you latch on to the PUA mythology, that hasn't worked either, has it? In fact it's backfired where they ran off or threw you out.

Those PUA myths are not going to make a woman attracted to you if she's not interested. So unfortunately there's no magical solution. It's like someone asking "how do I get rich quick?"  You want champagne for beer money.

Edited September 19, 2022 by Wiseman2

[Alpacalia]

It's a question I have.

Can you clarify what you mean by low quality women on those apps?

Is it because they want no-strings-attached sex that you consider them low quality?

Because you're following the same path.

Your search is the same as theirs.

[Weezy1973]

31 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Can you clarify what you mean by low quality women on those apps?

I’d guess he means unattractive.

[smackie9]

You want to get laid go dancing! Nothing is more of a turn on than a guy that can dance. It's seductive, passionate, and involves fun. You have to get game with confidence. Shy gets you nowhere. 

[Alpacalia]

6 hours ago, Weezy1973 said:

I’d guess he means unattractive.

Oh. I see.

1 hour ago, smackie9 said:

You want to get laid go dancing! Nothing is more of a turn on than a guy that can dance. It's seductive, passionate, and involves fun. You have to get game with confidence. Shy gets you nowhere. 

Agree

Men that can dance = fire. 

Super sensual.

With a some few exceptions, music touches women in a very profound and personal way - it stirs their deepest essence. The dance, however, unlocks the sensuality and playful side of her. You might get a lot fewer "I'm not in the mood" responses if men knew what an aphrodisiac it is.

 

Edited September 19, 2022 by Alpacalia

[Calmandfocused]

Dude, you’ve got your strategy all wrong. You really need to go back to basics. 
 

Rather than taking nonsense advice from these PUA, I think you need to educate yourself on how the female sex chooses a mate to have sex with…. You don’t need PUA advice, you need David Attenborough! 
 

A female will mate with a male only when he has shown his value to her. This may take 5 mins, 5 months or 5 years. 
 

I can assure you that being needy, desperate and trying to get sex from the get go significantly lowers your value. You’re chances are being successful are therefore 0%. 
 

Here’s a novel idea; rather than continue with your mission of treating women like a piece  of meat with the attitude of “any hole’s a goal”, why not try to see her as a person of value?
 

Change your strategy and  you may just find that you get that sex you’re after! 
 

 

[flaxcapacitor]

Well you're going on regular dates so women are clearly interested in you. What is the reason why you feel shy?

From what you've said I'd wager that once they meet you, or after chatting to you for a bit on the app, your personality is what puts them off. Describing your situtation to us it sounds like you view sex in a very transactional manner and I'd be surprised if this isn't also coming across when you try to flirt.

This is even assuming that you're matching with girls who are also up for no-strings-attached sex. Not many people will want to have sex with someone who has the approach you seem to have. If these women are actually interested in something more then you really don't stand a chance because your approach would be even more off-putting, and would be better following the advice of those who suggest you go to bars, dance and flirt.