Times have changed for the worst. Struggling

[NuevoYorko]

5 hours ago, JasonLaidlaw said:

I have never once insinauted that all are? [ ]  I am literally explaining my situation here. Its fustrating and I 100% agree but why is it that I have to compromise on their part when they wont do it for me? What is wrong with setting boundaries and wanting to go to places where there is fun activities?

You have to compromise because that's how we, as humans, do best at getting long with other people.  I would suggest (after first taking a break from dating as I suggested earlier) going into a meeting prepared to compromise and dropping your extreme defensiveness.  The women don't have to do anything for you.   They don't know you, and evidently from the experiences you've had, they don't particularly want to know you more.  You appear to feel the same way.  But you might as well practice being in a good place for dating, which would entail finding ways to get to know people that would be pleasant for BOTH of you.

[JasonLaidlaw]

8 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said:

You have to compromise because that's how we, as humans, do best at getting long with other people.  I would suggest (after first taking a break from dating as I suggested earlier) going into a meeting prepared to compromise and dropping your extreme defensiveness.  The women don't have to do anything for you.   They don't know you, and evidently from the experiences you've had, they don't particularly want to know you more.  You appear to feel the same way.  But you might as well practice being in a good place for dating, which would entail finding ways to get to know people that would be pleasant for BOTH of you.

Have you read my posts? I am literally compromising on almost all dates, they aren't willing to. I suspect you aren't reading my posts because I have mentioned plenty of times that I have compromised.

[Rider on the Storm]

40 minutes ago, JasonLaidlaw said:

I mean this is a lot of assumptions, "that's why they told you" when you are not them. Again, one did, one didn't I have went over this twice now. I find it ironic the one who changed her mind from ltr to just wanting fun told me after the meal and never had the courtesy to ask to split. The other one did split but never followed up, I clearly got the hint she wasn't interested, but that's fine. 

It may be an assumption to an extent, but it's a reasonable one to make given some basic observations. I'm paraphrasing, of course, but many of your posts have read like, "all women are horrible and selfish, let me tell you why ...".

Like you, I'm a single father. While I have never dated online (nor have a desire to), I have dated and can't relate to the majority of your posts. For example, I have never been turned down by a woman for having a child. In fact, most single mothers have seemed to view me having a child as a positive. I have never went out with a woman who initially said that she was seeking a  LTR relationship only to find out after the date that she didn't want one after all. For what it's worth, I enjoy being healthy and working out, and I have never come across a woman that didn't seem to appreciate or respect that. Now, I'm not saying any of these things to knock you, or to take away from your own personal experiences. Not at all, actually.  I'm just simply asking the question, why would 2 single guys within 10 years of age be having very opposite experiences?

Obviously, you're going to having less favorable dates than others, but if you're finding that they are all pretty bad, I would suggest doing some introspective work to see where some self-improvement can be made. You came here, I'm assuming, because you wanted feedback. Take some of that feedback and give it some thought instead of taking it as an insult and being dismissive because it 's not what you want to hear.

If a rain cloud seems to be following you wherever you go, there is probably a reason for that.

[poppyfields]

2 hours ago, JasonLaidlaw said:

when I have went out "wining and dining" they have stated in text (on Bumble) that they are looking for something serious/ltr. Yet, after wining and dining one has stated they do not want ltr and one just never contacted back. It's ridiculous and pure manipulation. 

The way I read this, they do seek a serious LTR.  That didn't change. 

However after "wining and dining" with you and thus learning more about you and determining how well you vibe together (or not), they chose to not pursue a LTR with you. 

This isn't manipulation, it's called losing interest. 

I'm rather surprised you're unaware of the difference. 

Unless you have such a high opinion of yourself, you don't believe a woman could ever not be interested in you, even when initially she was?

In your mind, she must have lied to you and manipulated you. 

People are allowed to change their minds about someone they're dating, even after just one date. 

How is that manipulation?

Edit:  When peoole say they're seeking a serious ltr, they're speaking in the general.  Not with you specifically.  They don't even know you for goodness sakes. 

 

Edited September 15, 2022 by poppyfields

[poppyfields]

OP, too late to edit my previous, but I don't recommend "wine and dine" for a first meet especially since you suspect she may be looking for a free meal or something. 

Something low key, a cool bar with good music and good vibe.  Order a drink and split a tapa, some nachos or something.  Very casual and low key.  Inexpensive. 

Pay attention to whether she offers to pay for something. 

A date is a mutal endeavor, not the man paying the entire bill and leading the entire interaction.  JMO on that though. 

Your goal is establishing a "connection" and food and drink is relaxing, it creates a great vibe for connecting and ........

Which is why many women enjoy it and may suggest it. 

It's not manipulative in the least.  Their desire is to connect with you.

Mentally, emotionally and eventually physically. 

 

Edited September 15, 2022 by poppyfields