NuevoYorko Posted November 18, 2022 Posted November 18, 2022 On 11/14/2022 at 10:28 AM, Runninggirl said: @ExpatInItaly Would make sense, but it would make more sense if a girl asked him to unfollow or delete me. He is still following me. He removed you as a "follower" because he specifically does not want you to know his personal business. It's become awkward and weird. The relationship you described here was extremely casual. From what you shared originally, he was consistent and absolutely did prioritize his friends. Now you are acting like a wronged girlfriend. He doesn't want you popping up where he goes. Hope you move on soon and don't get yourself into dead end deals like this with men in the future 3
Author Runninggirl Posted November 22, 2022 Author Posted November 22, 2022 On 11/18/2022 at 7:52 PM, Weezy1973 said: He may have been looking for the same but after getting to know you better found the two of you weren’t compatible so lost interest. This happened to me all the time. I’m a relationship guy, but the vast majority of women I met and dated were not compatible in a way that would work in a relationship. Just because I’m relationship oriented doesn’t mean I jump right into a serious exclusive relationship right from the hop just because I find someone attractive. That’s a ridiculous way of doing things and a surefire way to create false attachment to a veritable stranger. A common theme in the various threads on here… Completely fair to realize we weren't compatible, but then he should have ended it, not continued on until he found someone else. On 11/18/2022 at 8:08 PM, stillafool said: So he didn't ask you to be his gf before you had sex with him but you had sex anyway. He didn't use you, you had sex with him because you wanted to whether you were his gf or not. He never asked you to be his gf and you guys were never in a relationship. Now he's in a relationship and the proper thing for you to do is to stay away from him. I dont know if he's in a relationship, Im just assuming based on that I heard he slept with someone else while still keeping me around, and I think they kept in touch after we stopped.
stillafool Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 59 minutes ago, Runninggirl said: Completely fair to realize we weren't compatible, but then he should have ended it, not continued on until he found someone else. If you're just randomly dating someone there's nothing to end. He never asked you to be his gf so there was nothing to break up from. He just moved on to someone else. That's what dating is about, getting to know people until you find the one you want to be in a relationship with. 1 hour ago, Runninggirl said: I dont know if he's in a relationship, Im just assuming based on that I heard he slept with someone else while still keeping me around, and I think they kept in touch after we stopped. You said earlier you heard he'd been seeing another woman not just had one time sex with a girl. Either way, he has shown you he's no longer interested more than once so again, the proper thing for you to do now is leave him alone. 3
NuevoYorko Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 3 hours ago, Runninggirl said: Completely fair to realize we weren't compatible, but then he should have ended it, not continued on until he found someone else. No. That is not the nature of what you and he had going on. That type of casual deal is not exclusive by nature, Neither person is accountable to the other for what they are doing in their free time. If anyone is seeing someone who would say something like "Don't know what my plans are yet. Was talk about meeting the guys, but Im probably going home after, so can probably stop by" they should not be expecting to be notified if that person is also dating others. I'm sorry but you were an option of convenience. I believe you knew it - hence the title of your thread. I hope you will stop thinking about this guy and the details of what he did and said. That is truly spinning your wheels and also interfering with your ability to actually learn from this experience - and avoid repeating. 1
Wiseman2 Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 3 hours ago, Runninggirl said: Completely fair to realize we weren't compatible, but then he should have ended it, not continued on until he found someone else. Yes, in a perfect world snakes like this man wouldn't string women along. So delete and block and cut your losses without giving him more thought. Perhaps in the future be prepared to cut losses when red flags or confusion start appearing . 1
poppyfields Posted November 22, 2022 Posted November 22, 2022 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Yes, in a perfect world snakes like this man wouldn't string women along. So delete and block and cut your losses without giving him more thought. Perhaps in the future be prepared to cut losses when red flags or confusion start appearing . Completely agree. Although there was no exclusive "relationship" there was still a relationship, casual as it may have been. Dating, sexual relations with each other. Today's dating culture/environment has become so cold. Ghosting has become the norm and while no one "owes" anyone an explanation, I hold the belief that decent human beings don't just ghost or disappear on those with whom they've been sexually intimate for a period of time, even casually. Not a long drawn out explanation but something. @Runninggirl, imo, your feelings are valid and you're entitled to them. I would feel the same way in your shoes. The only thing you can do is learn from this experience and make a promise to yourself to choose more wisely next time. Realize that casual doesn't work for you and avoid. And pay attention. Don't allow emotions, chemistry and sexual hormones to drive your ship. Incorporate logic into your thought process. I had to learn this myself too. A cliche but time heals, I'm living proof. Head high, you got this. Edited November 22, 2022 by poppyfields 1
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