lust4life Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 http://www.secretsofsexualaddiction.com/?hop=ruins There are ways to make her think of you sexually all day long or atleast very often. You just have to care to!
lust4life Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 Tired is an excuse, if someone feels lust, tired isn't going to get in the way! Can you meet for lunch? Show up to work for coffee? Can you make your own marriage into an affair? Stabs in dark- Get her some good multi vitamins and calcium made from oyster shell, green tea. She is not adventurous, but was before marriage?
Author burt Posted October 25, 2005 Author Posted October 25, 2005 Honestly I did buy her some mega woman vitimans from GNC and she only took them for a couple of days. I did take her out to lunch last week and on the drive back I put my hand up her skirt and she acted like I was a stranger. The only affair I have is with my hand right now....
JadeStar Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 When you said something about the word "affair", do you think maybe thats a possibilty for why shes not wanting to be with you alot seuxally? Please don't think that its what I'm saying is happening, because I'm not. Its probably that shes busy or feels neglected in certain areas as well and thats why maybe the sex has slacked off. Just wondering though if you feel that theres a possibilty that she maybe having an affair her self? Once again I'm not saying thats what shes doing, I'm saying do you think that she might be? Jade
Author burt Posted October 25, 2005 Author Posted October 25, 2005 I would be shocked if she was having an affair. She does not seem the type, then again I can't rule it out, now I have this to worry about?
Scott S Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 Toys? right I have tried that, didnt work. I am up for anything but she is not. Seduction is not the problem, her lack of energy is. I am willing to learn stuff if that was the problem but according to her it is not. It's simply the fact that she is tired and for the most part lazy. She went from victoria secrets to sporty hanes for cryin out loud, what's next granny panties? Has she consulted with her doctor to ascertain whether there is some medical reason for lack of energy? The reason I ask is that a few years ago, Gina was diagnosed with fibromyalgia syndrome. While it's not as debilitating as some cases are, I do have to make some accomodations for her. And I do so gladly. Speaking to a broader issue, people have an uncanny way of living up or down to your expectations. If you look at her like a frump, she will be a frump. Treat her like a Victoria's Secret model, she'll start seeing herself as sexy, beautiful, & desirable. Some of the sexiest women I've known were not what I would consider drop-dead gorgeous. But they have an attitude & a way about them. They're sexy because they believe they are, & they believe they are because someone they love treats them like they're desirable. ____________________________________________ What if people stopped throwing rice at weddings, and threw potatoes instead?
JadeStar Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 Oh crapola!! Burt, sheesh I wasn't trying to add more things to the list of your worries. I see that I have and it wasn't my intention. However, I only asked that because to be honest I'm surprised someone didn't ask or bring it up before now. I was just wondering if maybe you felt it was possible but most of the time when someone is having an affair theres lots of other signs than just lack of sex. And sometimes thats not even the case at all. Oh hells bells I would say scratch what I asked but to late I'm sure thats on your list of worries. See the thing is, had I being, a woman said something about my husband slacking off in the sex deparment, the first thing someone would have asked is, do you think hes having an affair? So I guess it does come to peoples minds sometimes, that it could be a possibilty but like I said I doubt thats the case with you and wife, so don't go running up to her and accuse her please. Jade
Author burt Posted October 25, 2005 Author Posted October 25, 2005 I dont really think about that, just like most people, I would be shocked if infidelity was an issue here.
Ladyjane14 Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 Here's a Dr Phil-ism for you: "How much fun are YOU to live with?" You've admitted to depression, and envy of your wife's career success. You've admitted that you're secretly weighing the merits of divorce. Call me crazy....but I'm thinking that maybe you might not be the most fun guy to be around right now. A good-humored, energetic, enigmatic man.....is the GOD of all things sexual. I've seen guys with middlin' physical charms clean up on the love market....for no other reason than the fact that they exuded masculine charm. I'll tell you this..... A woman, who is unhappy with her marriage, is not usually seeking for another man. If she has her preference, all she REALLY wants is the man she originally married. She wants the guy she fell in love with. Your mission, should you choose to accept it....is to go out and FIND THAT MAN. Your "love market" might consist of just one customer, but you'll clean up too....when you start stocking your shelves with the original product. Chances are pretty good that you won't need the vitamins and gizmos if you do that, (and if you stick with it consistantly). p.s. Go to counseling with her, and go with an open heart. Either way it goes, you'll be glad you did.
Outcast Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 Tired is an excuse No, it's code for 'this relationship isn't good enough to make me want sex'. No amount of vitamins or toys or dates will replace a good relationship between two partners. Counselling first, everything else later. Until you fix what's wrong out of the bedroom, I promise you the stuff in the bedroom won't get better.
Author burt Posted October 25, 2005 Author Posted October 25, 2005 Man that was was pretty good.... I'll definitely have a talk with her about it...
Ladyjane14 Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 Until you fix what's wrong out of the bedroom, I promise you the stuff in the bedroom won't get better. Very true.
basscatcher Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 Has she consulted with her doctor to ascertain whether there is some medical reason for lack of energy? The reason I ask is that a few years ago, Gina was diagnosed with fibromyalgia syndrome. While it's not as debilitating as some cases are, I do have to make some accomodations for her. And I do so gladly. I have Fibromyalgia. When it first came on it debilitated me. I had no sex drive, I was tired all the time, I had no energy, I felt like I was developing the flu and I did, I fell into mild depression because of it too. It really affected me and it happened kind-of gradually. I changed my eating habits, started Chiropractic (Gonstad Tech.) and I have felt much better. sunlight has also help a lot. I would have her see a doctor. Just to rule out Fibromyalgia even to make sure she isnt developing Type II diabetes, they can assess if she is suffereing from depression as well. These things will rip a womans sex drive away even their desire for you. She wont want to be bothered. She will want to sit in her dispair and not be disturbed. It took a lot for me to get myself moving to feel better.. I still get fatigued from time to time when I run myself down and dont eat healthy. Too much sugar or starch and I'm screwed...
basscatcher Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 Here's a Dr Phil-ism for you: "How much fun are YOU to live with?" You've admitted to depression, and envy of your wife's career success. You've admitted that you're secretly weighing the merits of divorce. Call me crazy....but I'm thinking that maybe you might not be the most fun guy to be around right now. A good-humored, energetic, enigmatic man.....is the GOD of all things sexual. I've seen guys with middlin' physical charms clean up on the love market....for no other reason than the fact that they exuded masculine charm. I'll tell you this..... A woman, who is unhappy with her marriage, is not usually seeking for another man. If she has her preference, all she REALLY wants is the man she originally married. She wants the guy she fell in love with. Your mission, should you choose to accept it....is to go out and FIND THAT MAN. Your "love market" might consist of just one customer, but you'll clean up too....when you start stocking your shelves with the original product. Chances are pretty good that you won't need the vitamins and gizmos if you do that, (and if you stick with it consistantly). p.s. Go to counseling with her, and go with an open heart. Either way it goes, you'll be glad you did. Great post!!!
Author burt Posted October 25, 2005 Author Posted October 25, 2005 I probably would have a hard time getting her to believe that she is very stubborn.
JadeStar Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 "No its code for, "this relationship is not good enough to make me want sex." Bingo Dingo!! dayummmm that was good. I'm going to write that down. Well you know incase I need it for future reference in any sitaution that may arise with me. That was good! Jade
lilmoma1973 Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 No, it's code for 'this relationship isn't good enough to make me want sex'. No amount of vitamins or toys or dates will replace a good relationship between two partners. Counselling first, everything else later. Until you fix what's wrong out of the bedroom, I promise you the stuff in the bedroom won't get better. Burt until you make the step to go to counseling you want get anything fixed because your issues aren't just in the bedroom it is outside of the bedroom and itimacy begins outside as well as in and i know cause me and my h are having this problem!! I want more itimacy outside of the bedroom and when i don't get it i feel no need for sex!! I can understand why she isn't allowing you to go up her skirt ..Change the way you approach her give lots of kisses and hugs and foreplay outside of the bedroom to make her want more foreplay in the bedroom and you will get your oral.. : : My h wants me to do oral on him but he never wants to give me oral and im obliging to him if he doesn't how is this fair !!! Try giving her oral pleasures and maybe she will give you some as well maybe you are being too selfish in sex that she feels she is getting nothing why should she bother.. I know my h can be selfish in sex and think about him getting his nut and not me reaching my big O and that can be very frustrating!! In sex it isn't all about you it is about pleasing both of you !!!!!!! Good luck
lilmoma1973 Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 No, it's code for 'this relationship isn't good enough to make me want sex'. Damn right !!! Good post outcast you said it all !!! That's is exactly how i feel in my relationship !!!
Author burt Posted October 25, 2005 Author Posted October 25, 2005 you all have been helpful, i'll try to get back on tonight or tomorrow, but thanks, I'll try to talk to her tonight and let you know...
Walk Posted October 26, 2005 Posted October 26, 2005 That was mean.... The man is frustrated with his relationship and sexually frustrated, and you lash him to the whipping post as if he's simply some kind of sexual pervert. He has problems with his marriage, and part of a marriage is the sexual aspect. More so for men. I completely understand how this would be, and should be, a concern of his. Not specifically that he's not getting a BJ, but the lack of physical intimacy relating to closeness and bonding. And her not wanting to satisfy his desires, if he feels he's satisfying hers. He just needs to work on the rest of his relationship too. At least he's asking for advice/help! That's head and shoulders above what many men do.
loudog Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 as the old jokes goes...sad but very true Why does the bride smile while walking down the aisle? She knows she's given her last BJ... Lou
slubberdegullion Posted January 14, 2006 Posted January 14, 2006 Why does the bride smile while walking down the aisle? She knows she's given her last BJ... NO FAIR! I laughed out loud and now there's coffee all over my monitor! someone's gonna get a bill for this!
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