max3732 Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 Matched with this woman and she had in her profile she likes guys who are active and in my opening message I put something about how active I am and asked if she's also active. She responded asking if she looks like she's active. To that I said something about her looking great and asked what activities she likes and after a few more messages she says something like "let's cut to the chase. Which of my pictures are your favorite?" I didn't see any harm and mentioned 1 and said I liked her smile. She responded that I outed myself as a leg man. Then I asked why she was so interested in the pictures and she said something like "to weed out the fake nice guys" and then unmatched me. What in the world just happened? Did I do something wrong? Is there something I'm not seeing here?
ccas93 Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 I feel you, I can't stand these kind of weird dating app interactions. Sounds to me she's just a... you know.
basil67 Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 There's a good reason she's single. If someone had said to me "cut to the chase, which of my photos is your favourite" I would like to think I'd have unmatched them on the spot. I mean, what kind of person says that to someone the just met? 1
Ami1uwant Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 13 minutes ago, max3732 said: Matched with this woman and she had in her profile she likes guys who are active and in my opening message I put something about how active I am and asked if she's also active. She responded asking if she looks like she's active. To that I said something about her looking great and asked what activities she likes and after a few more messages she says something like "let's cut to the chase. Which of my pictures are your favorite?" I didn't see any harm and mentioned 1 and said I liked her smile. She responded that I outed myself as a leg man. Then I asked why she was so interested in the pictures and she said something like "to weed out the fake nice guys" and then unmatched me. What in the world just happened? Did I do something wrong? Is there something I'm not seeing here? She may have developed some “formula”to try and screen greens who were only interested in her body.
Alvi Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 She put you through some weird shyt test and apparently you didn't pass it. Consider yourself lucky! 2 hours ago, max3732 said: She responded asking if she looks like she's active. She doesn't sound like a pleasant person at all. This is where you should've wished her a good day and blocked her. 2 hours ago, max3732 said: Then I asked why she was so interested in the pictures and she said something like "to weed out the fake nice guys" and then unmatched me. I wonder what her experience on a dating site is like. I think that she is too jaded and sick and tired of guys pretending to be nice and hitting her up for sex. Hence, she developed some crazy test that she puts guys through. I think that even the most emotionally stable person could turn into a complete lunatic after staying on dating sites for a while, lol. So, not going to judge her too harshly. 2 hours ago, max3732 said: in my opening message I put something about how active I am and asked if she's also active. On a second thought, I wonder if she misunderstood you and though that by active you asked her if she was sexually active. It is a possibility. It is very easy to misunderstand some wording in a text or to attach a completely different meaning to it. In any case, she is not a good match for you, so NEXT!
ExpatInItaly Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 You did nothing wrong. She's a loon. Next.
Alpacalia Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 3 hours ago, max3732 said: I didn't see any harm and mentioned 1 and said I liked her smile. 3 hours ago, max3732 said: Then I asked why she was so interested in the pictures and she said something like "to weed out the fake nice guys" and then unmatched me. While I know it's wrong, sometimes I find these exchanges humorous to read. Like what the devil was the point of that on her part? It is unclear why she associated your compliment with being a jerk disguised as a fake nice guy. There is no wrongdoing on your part. Sounds like she has some weird filtering criteria going on. Keep in mind that during your brief exchange, she did not seem too interested in learning about how you stay active or you personally. Perhaps she will discover at some point that in order to form a connection with someone, she must let a little of her guard down. Oh well. On to the next! 1
Maldives Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 4 hours ago, max3732 said: Matched with this woman and she had in her profile she likes guys who are active and in my opening message I put something about how active I am and asked if she's also active. She responded asking if she looks like she's active. To that I said something about her looking great and asked what activities she likes and after a few more messages she says something like "let's cut to the chase. Which of my pictures are your favorite?" I didn't see any harm and mentioned 1 and said I liked her smile. She responded that I outed myself as a leg man. Then I asked why she was so interested in the pictures and she said something like "to weed out the fake nice guys" and then unmatched me. What in the world just happened? Did I do something wrong? Is there something I'm not seeing here? Welcome to the fake world of online dating lol
Wiseman2 Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 8 hours ago, max3732 said: she had in her profile she likes guys who are active and in my opening message I put something about how active I am and asked if she's also active. Yikes. Delete and block her from the dating app. What happened? Way too much emphasis on random useless chitchat. If someone won't meet after a couple of messages, then don't entertain them further. If they start getting weird like asking you which pics you like, shut it down sooner. The mistake was telling her "you're an active guy" because you thought that was a good opening message and what she wanted to hear. Only to find out she's not interested. Perhaps try not trying to build rapport with total strangers through opening messages. Start off a bit more neutrally.
Will am I Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 Stories like these remind me to be kind to my wife and invest a little bit extra in the marriage. I think I don't like this brave new world of dating apps at all. 4
Despin Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 (edited) Lots of assumptions from just about everyone who replied on this thread- every post that contains the word "her" or "she".. There's absolutely no reason to expect the profile was real. I did that once, over 20 years ago. I was getting divorced and miserable and not getting much action on the dating sites at the time. So I downloaded a bunch of pictures of a hot blonde and made a brief profile about how into sex I was and my inbox filled up with hundreds of messages per day. I got a real kick out of messing around with these guys who thought they had a chance with a hottie way out of their league. A couple of them even drove to a local mall thinking I'd be meeting them for sex in the parking lot. Boy were they pissed when they got back and I admitted I was a dude entertaining myself at their expense. Only one guy was astute enough to point out that not only were the pictures of completely different women but one of them bore a striking resemblence to tennis star Anna Kournikova. Oops. The term is "catfishing", go Google it. Edited September 9, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
poppyfields Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, Despin said: There's absolutely no reason to expect the profile was real. I did that once, over 20 years ago. I was getting divorced and miserable and not getting much action on the dating sites at the time. So I downloaded a bunch of pictures of a hot blonde and made a brief profile about how into sex I was and my inbox filled up with hundreds of messages per day. I got a real kick out of messing around with these guys who thought they had a chance with a hottie way out of their league. A couple of them even drove to a local mall thinking I'd be meeting them for sex in the parking lot. Boy were they pissed when they got back and I admitted I was a dude entertaining myself at their expense. Only one guy was astute enough to point out that not only were the pictures of completely different women but one of them bore a striking resemblence to tennis star Anna Kournikova. Oops. You're not the first man who's done that. I used to think it was weird, like why would a man pretend to be a woman on a dating app or website? They claimed they did it to "check out the competition" but soon realized after receiving 100s of messages (as most attractive women do) what they came away with was just how "thirsty" men are for sex, and it gave them a better understanding of what women experience on these apps with respect to that. Including myself before I met my husband. Anyway @max3732take this one with a HUGE pinch of salt. Either she/he was a troll or someone has a very poor attitude and it's no wonder they're single. You good peeps max, you'll find your "person" I know it.. Try to stay positive, always. Edited September 9, 2022 by poppyfields 1
Wiseman2 Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 1 hour ago, Despin said: Lots of assumptions from just about everyone who replied on this thread- every post that contains the word "her" or "she".. The term is "catfishing" The OP used the terms she/her so responses were to that. However agree that meeting sooner rather than later is in order and anyone who won't meet in a timely fashion is suspect. My advice is to discontinue this type of chitchat and after a simple few exchanges suggest meeting for a coffee/drink rather than getting involved in nonsense conversation about who's active, what pics are best, leg man and other unnecessary communication.
poppyfields Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: My advice is to discontinue this type of chitchat and after a simple few exchanges suggest meeting for a coffee/drink rather than getting involved in nonsense conversation about who's active, what pics are best, leg man and other unnecessary communication. I don't disagree with you Wiseman, but in fairness to max, he wasn't the one doing this^, SHE (or he) was. He politely answered the first question (giving the person the benefit of doubt), after which they chimed back with a snark and he was blocked. I don't find anything max did to be "wrong," he encountered a troll or a very damaged person, that's all this was imho.. Edited September 9, 2022 by poppyfields 1
Despin Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 16 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I don't find anything max did to be "wrong," he encountered a troll or a very damaged person, that's all this was imho.. ^This. Besides "playing the part" I've been subject to similar. One "woman" had me go through the "love language quiz" and report back with the findings. Apparently we weren't a good match based on the results and "she" was gone. It was an interesting experience though, troll, oddball or simply a person really hung up on the love languages. 1
poppyfields Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 Just now, Despin said: ^This. Besides "playing the part" I've been subject to similar. One "woman" had me go through the "love language quiz" and report back with the findings. Apparently we weren't a good match based on the results and "she" was gone. It was an interesting experience though, troll, oddball or simply a person really hung up on the love languages. Lol, my first thought was next time a woman asks this^ (prior to meet) or any other bizarre request, do not engage, next. But after reading the bolded, that is great attitude! It's just another experience, to chuckle about and even learn from! You'll never go wrong having that attitude imo.
Alpacalia Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 (edited) 4 hours ago, Despin said: So I downloaded a bunch of pictures of a hot blonde and made a brief profile about how into sex I was and my inbox filled up with hundreds of messages per day. I got a real kick out of messing around with these guys who thought they had a chance with a hottie way out of their league. A couple of them even drove to a local mall thinking I'd be meeting them for sex in the parking lot. Boy were they pissed when they got back and I admitted I was a dude entertaining myself at their expense. Only one guy was astute enough to point out that not only were the pictures of completely different women but one of them bore a striking resemblence to tennis star Anna Kournikova. Oops. The term is "catfishing", go Google it. Considering that you've done catfishing yourself, I doubt that this is the case with the OP. Edited September 9, 2022 by Alpacalia
Amy4love Posted September 9, 2022 Posted September 9, 2022 You just missed a weirdo Next would be ok...My prayers to you.
Ami1uwant Posted September 10, 2022 Posted September 10, 2022 11 hours ago, Despin said: ^This. Besides "playing the part" I've been subject to similar. One "woman" had me go through the "love language quiz" and report back with the findings. Apparently we weren't a good match based on the results and "she" was gone. It was an interesting experience though, troll, oddball or simply a person really hung up on the love languages. Sure your stories are in the realm of possibility that it was a stunt of some sort. It likely wasn’t. catfishing would use fake profile pics but they usually have the interest in trying to date and talk…even if it was a try to Nigerian scam you. whatshe did was different. some want you to fill out a questionnaire to see if you are a match for them because they have gotten burned in the past. It’s really not much different than some having some look/personality/ interest type. what I think happened with the OP was problems in dating where they were too much driven by looks alone and not something more deeper. If she had a bunch of people jump into just have sex or talk about her being sexy she’s now scared by.
Author max3732 Posted September 10, 2022 Author Posted September 10, 2022 21 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said: Sure your stories are in the realm of possibility that it was a stunt of some sort. It likely wasn’t. catfishing would use fake profile pics but they usually have the interest in trying to date and talk…even if it was a try to Nigerian scam you. whatshe did was different. some want you to fill out a questionnaire to see if you are a match for them because they have gotten burned in the past. It’s really not much different than some having some look/personality/ interest type. what I think happened with the OP was problems in dating where they were too much driven by looks alone and not something more deeper. If she had a bunch of people jump into just have sex or talk about her being sexy she’s now scared by. Maybe that's it. In all the time I've been doing OLD I don't think I've ever had a woman ask me which of her pictures I liked best or anything specific about what I find attractive in her physically before we've even met. She was certainly attractive, but not like a super model or anything. Also had pictures with friends and looked normal. The whole thing just made me uncomfortable and feel very confused.
Ami1uwant Posted September 10, 2022 Posted September 10, 2022 31 minutes ago, max3732 said: Maybe that's it. In all the time I've been doing OLD I don't think I've ever had a woman ask me which of her pictures I liked best or anything specific about what I find attractive in her physically before we've even met. She was certainly attractive, but not like a super model or anything. Also had pictures with friends and looked normal. The whole thing just made me uncomfortable and feel very confused. It’s some sort of testing. If she has pics with friends maybe she wants to make sure they have the correct woman if some have said she was totally different from her pics
Wiseman2 Posted September 10, 2022 Posted September 10, 2022 5 hours ago, max3732 said: I don't think I've ever had a woman ask me which of her pictures I liked best or anything specific about what I find attractive in her physically before we've even met. Exactly. And this was your cue to discontinue this line of discussion and suggest meeting. Try not to build rapport before meeting through chitchat that is not relevant and especially chitchat that's this bizarre. Catfish or not, suggesting meeting is the true test of interest or authenticity. 1
poppyfields Posted September 10, 2022 Posted September 10, 2022 (edited) 8 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Try not to build rapport before meeting through chitchat that is not relevant and especially chitchat that's this bizarre. I agree with this, specifically the bolded. I think it's fine to chat a bit before meet to build some rapport; many women need that before meeting a total stranger. I always did as did many of my friends and female acquaintances. It's also a great way to weed people out before spending time and energy meeting. I don't think you did wrong, again you politely answered. Her snarky response and block was all you need to know to realize she's a total loon, and to put it out of your head. Be thankful you never met her! Try to not give it another thought, total waste of energy max. Edited September 10, 2022 by poppyfields 2
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