Birthday gift

[its_me_123]

Hi there,

I have been dating a girl for a few weeks and have met around 3 times. I know her quite well and her likes etc. It's her birthday coming up and want to get her a present, but wondered what is too much or too little. Should I be getting anything at all? 

Any suggestions would be great!

Thanks

[stillafool]

A card or balloon with a B-day cupcake would be enough at this point.

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, its_me_123 said:

I have been dating a girl for a few weeks and have met around 3 times. It's her birthday coming up and want to get her a present, but wondered what is too much or too little. Should I be getting anything at all? 

Take her out and keep the gift modest and reasonable, not too personal or meaningful like jewelry.

[poppyfields]

21 minutes ago, its_me_123 said:

Hi there,

I have been dating a girl for a few weeks and have met around 3 times. I know her quite well and her likes etc. It's her birthday coming up and want to get her a present, but wondered what is too much or too little. Should I be getting anything at all? 

Any suggestions would be great!

Thanks

How did you find out it was her birthday?  

If she told you, she's probably expecting something.

Agree with what Wiseman advised, something modest and reasonable. 

 

Edited September 7, 2022 by poppyfields

[Alpacalia]

@stillafool's suggestion is lovely.

I'd go with that.

[its_me_123]

15 hours ago, poppyfields said:

How did you find out it was her birthday?  

If she told you, she's probably expecting something.

Agree with what Wiseman advised, something modest and reasonable. 

 

She told me as she asked mine in general conversation/ when we were getting to know each other.

[poppyfields]

34 minutes ago, its_me_123 said:

She told me as she asked mine in general conversation/ when we were getting to know each other.

I see. 

Birthdays are so loaded, this early in, I never mentioned for precisely this reason. 

You're now wondering what to get, if it's appropriate or if you should give anything at all. 

Too much mental space in your head for this early in imho.  It's an unnecessary pressure which again is why I never mentioned this early in.

But everyone's different and has their own agenda.

In any event, I can almost guarantee since she mentioned it (in whatever context) and her birthday is coming up soon, she's expecting you to get her something. 

It's a test of sorts and you better pass otherwise you're doomed. 

If she didnt care, she wouldn't have mentioned. 

You've only had three dates, known her a few weeks, it's impossible to know what she's expecting.

I wish you luck though. 

 

Edited September 8, 2022 by poppyfields

[stillafool]

49 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

In any event, I can almost guarantee since she mentioned it (in whatever context) and her birthday is coming up soon, she's expecting you to get her something.

I agree she mentioned it because she's expecting you to take her out to celebrate or get her something.  I don't think I would have brought up my birthday either after dating such a short period of time because; I wouldn't want him to do what you're doing now OP.

[Alpacalia]

[ ] 

Just get her a simple card.

 

Edited September 8, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
argumentative

[its_me_123]

I've got something small and will also get a card. I was also thinking of making her something to reflect how I like her, but not sure what. I was thinking of something like a notelet that I would write a little message on. Would this be a nice idea or too much?

[Alpacalia]

A really small, thoughtful gift would be ok - INEXPENSIVE while being thoughtful.

Romance can be beautiful, and it can be rewarding to do something that makes other people happy.

It's a nice idea. Try not to do too much all at once. 

It is okay to save some of your ideas for when things become more serious down the road.

You have a card and something small. 

That sounds lovely.

Edited September 9, 2022 by Alpacalia

[smackie9]

Flowers! Nice bottle of wine. 

Edited September 9, 2022 by smackie9

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, its_me_123 said:

I've got something small and will also get a card. I was also thinking of making her something to reflect how I like her, but not sure what. I was thinking of something like a notelet that I would write a little message on. Would this be a nice idea or too much?

The card is enough. It's more romantic to let things unfold like a rose, not throw all this at someone at one. It could be viewed as creepy, suffocating or "lovebombing", so refrain. Besides you seem interested enough to have more dates, no?

Edited September 9, 2022 by Wiseman2

[Wiseman2]

15 hours ago, its_me_123 said:

. I was also thinking of making her something to reflect how I like her, but not sure what. I was thinking of something like a notelet that I would write a little message on. 

Unfortunately it seems quite insincere if you are still chasing others and in fact contemplating sending them letters to continue.

While dating others until you are exclusive is ok, it's not ok to lay it on this thick.

It almost seems like you are doing all this for yourself, to get oohs and aahs. 

[its_me_123]

Thanks for the reply.

I've decided to leave the other one and focus on this one that I am hoping will work out. Thanks for all the advice.

[glows]

23 hours ago, its_me_123 said:

I've got something small and will also get a card. I was also thinking of making her something to reflect how I like her, but not sure what. I was thinking of something like a notelet that I would write a little message on. Would this be a nice idea or too much?

Too much. What you have now is fine. Don’t make anything and no more writing.

Spend meaningful time in person and live in the moment. 

[BaileyB]

My birthday was about a week or two after I first went on a date with my current partner. I told him about my birthday because I had plans with my family and friends. I was hoping for a happy birthday text and I would have been thrilled if he had taken me out (sometime around my birthday) and bought me dessert to celebrate. I was not expecting a gift. 

I would say that you are more likely to go wrong by overdoing it, and under doing it, at this point. Just acknowledge the day, take her out and do something fun together, maybe get her something small if you want to get her a gift. Nothing too personal or expensive. 

For what it’s worth, he sent me a happy birthday text and asked how I was planning to celebrate. That was all we did to celebrate that year - the day passed, I spent time with my family and friends, and that was fine. 

Edited September 10, 2022 by BaileyB

[poppyfields]

On 9/9/2022 at 8:58 AM, its_me_123 said:

I've got something small and will also get a card. I was also thinking of making her something to reflect how I like her, but not sure what. I was thinking of something like a notelet that I would write a little message on. Would this be a nice idea or too much?

@its_me_123I have a question, hope you'll answer.

What is your motivation for doing all this^?  You've only had a few dates, so wondering what your goal/agenda is. 

Everyone has one, whether they acknowledge it or not, so curious what yours is. 

Are you hoping it will impress her?  Because you think the more you do, the "nicer" you, thoughtful and generous, the more she will like you? 

Many women may view this as you "trying too hard," and/or possibly even find it a bit manipulative. I would and have! 

It's too much for this early in OP, only three dates. 

As both I and @stillafoolsaid earlier, we never even mentioned our birthdays this early in; it's insignificant and can cause unnecessary pressure and awkwardness.

TBH, after three dates with a new man, I'd feel extremely uncomfortable if he did all that.

It may even turn me off, it's too much, too "thirsty" as they say. 

I know you think it's nice and want to show her what a thoughtful man you are but this is not the way to do it imho and experience.

Initially she may be thrilled because she likes the attention and validation but it will not increase her interest level OP.  It may ultimately do the opposite.

These early stages are so precarious, the slightest thing can make or break. 

Wish her happy birthday (verbally or by text) and take her out to a nice casual dinner is my advice. 

If she views that as too "cheap" and expected something more extravagant, then next her, this is not woman you should want to get involved with. 

I realize I'm overthinking, speculating and jumping the gun, however I wanted to give you some insight into how many women think and feel about receiving gifts and other sentimental gestures from men so early in, only three dates. 

Lean back a bit. Make effort, not too much, not too little. 

Find a healthy balance. 

No need to go overboard showing her how much you like her. 

Asking her out, initiating dates is enough.

It's also good to lean back sometimes and let her wonder about you. 

Allow your relationship to unfold and develop gradually and naturally, no pushing 

Doing what's quoted above is pushing, and you risk turning her off, even though your intention is the opposite.

Good luck and let us know how it all turns out!

Relax and enjoy.

 

Edited September 10, 2022 by poppyfields

[Lola]

A text message. Then ask her out for dinner and if You really like her a rose. That would be more than enough