Martin_ Posted September 6, 2022 Posted September 6, 2022 Hello. I am feeling weird, sad because of my situation. I usually dont seek answers on forums but I am clueless so I found this sit and I hope that someone will be so kind to try and help me, give me advice. I am a 17 year old boy, I like electronics, programming, playing games. I am not social person at all, I enjoy time alone and although I can also enjoy company of other people, I have to know them well for long time. I have zero dating or relationship experiences. My problem started when I was in 8th year of elementary school (I dont know how is it in other states, but where I live elementary school is for kids from age 6 to 15 and after that there is high school for 4 or 5 years depending on the school). At that time, girls in school were in two groups. In the bigger one were girls that were ˝rebels˝. They always argued with teachers over their clothes, makeup, most of them started smoking, drinking, cursing regular and always had conflicts with each other. Other group was more subtle and from my viewpoint they were real friends. I started looking at one of them. More I heard about her personality, more I heard her speaking more I liked her. And she was also really pretty. But she was always in the bobble of her close friends and I as really shy person could not imagine talking to her more and ask her out. I knew that even if she rejected me, she would not make fun of me but I somehow that was not enough to convince myself to approach her. Sometimes (like once a week) we were talking but newer one on one but in group and mostly only about school things. And I had one year ahead of me so I always had the excuse that I have time to ask her out. Unfortunately, that time vanished instantly when covid came in 9th year and for first few months we did not even have online lessons. And with that I finished elementary school and we both went to different high schools (still in the same town, not far away from each other) My hopes were gone because my only connection to her was that we were both in inactive messenger class group chat. That was all. I tried to forget and convince myself that I will meet many other girls will come. But I can not stop thinking about her (also going to high school where I have 29 classmates and all of them were boys does not help). At the end of second year at high school our old teacher invited us to class reunion ( I really dont know if this is the right word for it). I went there just because of her, I stayed there to the end even though lot of people had to go earlier so I can just hear and see her. Again, none one on one talking because we were all behind a big round table talking together. But when I got home I felt somehow I cant really describe but I was thinking only and only about her all next few days. I decided that I have to do something so I checked her facebook account (she only has facebook, and instagram but on instagram she has around 6 really old photos all from one day and also profile picture is old so I suppose that she does not use instagram. And I dont use it as well so no connection there is possible) and I could finally find it and open it (because before that she had probably just messenger or everything set on private because I could not even load her account). After around an hour of stressing I sent a friend request (here you can see how shy I am, especially to girls when this is a problem for me). She accepted it that day but I just could not do anything more. I was too scared to write something, I thought that if I write anything it will be weird considering we did not even talk much in school. And this is situation where I am now. I know where is she going to school so theoretically I could wait for her and then ˝randomly˝ meet her but she would be probably with her friends and it would end up with hi. But I also probably missed the least awkward time to write her when I she accepted my friend request. For many this would be probably easy situation but as you probably know by now I am not really normal, easy going extrovert. If you read this thank you very much for reading my story and even if you dont reply I thank you for the time you took with this. However if you think you can help me or give me any advice on what to write, how to look at it differently, how to not feel so shy, something that could help me talk to people more easily or anything else, it is much appreciated and I will be so grateful for it. Thank you. English is not my native language so sorry for mistakes. also if I did not mention it, she is same age as me so 17.
basil67 Posted September 6, 2022 Posted September 6, 2022 Sending a friend request is a great start. Perhaps you could follow it up with something which is both honest but not pushy. Something like "I've been thinking about you recently and wondered how you are". It gives an opening for her to respond if she wants but it's not so pushy as to put her off. If she responds and you start a bit of two way conversation, ask her on a date. Also, your English is absolutely perfect. Nobody would know it's not your first language
Author Martin_ Posted September 7, 2022 Author Posted September 7, 2022 Thank you for your reply. Like I said, I already sent a friend request, so I'll just have to write her out of nothing. I still feel like whatever I write it will still be a bit weird, but I would be mad at myself if I didn't try. So thanks again, I will think about it and hopefully find the courage. 1
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