Marcoo Posted September 3, 2022 Posted September 3, 2022 There is a girl I really. Her friends kept telling me she likes me and asking me about her and she even rejected boys because of me. I asked her out and she said yes. We kissed few times and all was fine. We had to cancel our first time out because always one of was busy because of work or holiday but mostly she was the one. Once I asked if she’s free she said no she’s at work and she said so other day so I guess she wouldn’t say that if she didn’t want to go. Then her friends started saying things like she’s complicated, they’re confused of her and maybe I should give up on her. I asked her if she really wants to go out and if she would tell me if not. She said she would tell me if she didn’t want to go. So we went out and it was fine. Then her friends started saying these things again. Then I met her friend from boarding school and she said she talks about me often and likes me. I texted her if she’d go out again someday and she replied that this week she can't and then school year starts and she’s in boarding school so I said I meant like in the future and she said we will see. I don’t know what to do know and what to think. Do you have some advices? Thank you.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 3, 2022 Posted September 3, 2022 I would forget this girl. She sounds like too much work and she's not interested enough. "We will see" is your cue to stop asking and move along. 1
Wiseman2 Posted September 3, 2022 Posted September 3, 2022 (edited) 25 minutes ago, Marcoo said: I asked her out and she said yes. We kissed few times and all was fine.. Then her friends started saying.... So we went out and it was fine. Then her friends started saying.... Listen to your instincts and common sense. You asked her out and she's interested and it went well. Stop listening to hearsay and gossiping about her. Respect her by speaking with her directly. If she is too hard working to have a lot of spare time, then you may want to scale back if you're not that interested or discouraged from her friends' gossip. Edited September 3, 2022 by Wiseman2
Author Marcoo Posted September 4, 2022 Author Posted September 4, 2022 Hey. There was a girl and her friends were saying that she likes me for a long time and so on. We became friends and after some time I asked her out and she said yes. We kissed two times and everyone saw us as a couple. We went out about month and half after I asked her because always one of was busy but mostly it was her who was busy. Once i texted her if she is free and she was at work so she said let´s go other day but I was busy the other day. Then we went out and it was fine. Then I typed her if she would go out again and she said she can't this week and then school year starts and she is in boarding school so she is not home from Monday to Friday. I said I meant like in the future and she said we will see. I wonder why did she suddenly lose interest. I also would like to talk more about it with her and tell her what I feel so what do you think?
Wiseman2 Posted September 4, 2022 Posted September 4, 2022 9 minutes ago, Marcoo said: I said I meant like in the future and she said we will see. I wonder why did she suddenly lose interest. I also would like to talk more about it with her and tell her what I feel so what do you think? She is busy with school. She knows your contact info so wait for her to reach out. Try not to smother her.
smackie9 Posted September 4, 2022 Posted September 4, 2022 Maybe your excitement turned her off. Play it cool, give her space. It's possible she likes guys who are aloof and distant.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 4, 2022 Posted September 4, 2022 5 hours ago, Marcoo said: There was a girl and her friends were saying that she likes me for a long time and so on. Perhaps her friends over-estimated her interest. She doesn't sound particularly keen, so I am not sure this really qualifies as a long-term crush on her end. She also seems busy with other things, or maybe she's met someone else. May I ask how old you both are? 1
ShyViolet Posted September 4, 2022 Posted September 4, 2022 6 hours ago, Marcoo said: I wonder why did she suddenly lose interest. I also would like to talk more about it with her and tell her what I feel so what do you think? No, you should definitely not do this. You've already asked her out multiple times and she gave answers that showed she is not interested. Don't ever chase someone who is not interested in you.... why would you do that? Don't put yourself in a position of desperation. Leave her alone and find someone else who is actually interested.
stillafool Posted September 4, 2022 Posted September 4, 2022 Never believe someone who comes to you saying their friend likes you. When someone tells you that tell them you don't believe them and if their friend likes you they should be the one to let you know. 1
Author Marcoo Posted September 4, 2022 Author Posted September 4, 2022 There is a girl who liked me for a long time. Her friends were telling me this all the time. We kissed two times and I asked her out and she said yes. We couldnt find a day when both of us was free but mostly she was the one who was busy. Then her friends started saying things like I should give up on her and she is complicated. So I asked if she really wants to go out and she said yes that she would tell me if not. So we finally went out and it was fine. Then I texted her if she would go again someday and she replied that this week she already have plans and then school years starts(she is in boarding school) so i said i meant like in the future and she said we will see. Should i go to her and see how the things are even when it does not look well I guess. Just tell her how I feel and stuff?
smackie9 Posted September 4, 2022 Posted September 4, 2022 You are becoming clingy and girls hate that kind of thing. It's possible she got a whiff of that and she's shifting her attention away from you. Play it cool and leave her alone.
Wiseman2 Posted September 4, 2022 Posted September 4, 2022 (edited) @Marcoo[ ] Her friends tell you things, but she tells you she is too busy with school. You'll have to accept her word. Edited September 5, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator response to removed content
ChatroomHero Posted September 7, 2022 Posted September 7, 2022 I have had a few very similar situations. I have found when I get to the point that I say, or at least feel like saying, "if you don't really want to go out, just let me know so I don't keep barking up the wrong tree", it's pretty much not worth it and over. You'll always get the response, "If I wasn't interested I wouldn't be talking to you...", they'll still never seem to find the time to go out. The fact that you're at that point tells you that you picked up on her lower level of interest. When friends tell you how interested she is and then after you go out with her tell you how she's weird or complicated, it's basically because at first she was running hot but then changed her mind and is on the fence or running cold. Your friends will be confused because she was probably showing strong interest then cooled off. They pick up on comments or her lower interest even if she isn't necessarily telling them. Like she talked about you all the time and suddenly doesn't talk about you. Or they ask her how it's going with you and she responds, "Eh, it's ok I guess, I might go out with him again". They wonder why a few weeks earlier she wouldn't shut up about you and now if they ask about you it's like pulling teeth to get her to say anything. Keep in mind, she might just talk about you with her friend from boarding school as a bit of a brag, like displaying validation in front of her friends that she has someone on the back burner. When a woman is really interested in you, she will shift a lot of important things to make time for you. Like she'll have to work a lot all weekend but suggest you could meet up for an hour after work at the bar next to her work, just to see you for an hour. She'll say she really, really needs to get something done but put it off to meet you somehow, even for a short time. She find a time to meet up with you before she went back to school to "lock you down". When it's low interest, you get the "maybe next week"..."We'll see"..."possibly next Wednesday, I'll let you know by Tuesday night"... It sounds like her interest dropped. Maybe because she'll be at school and knows a 'long distance relationship' would be a chore and keep her from having fun at school for a while. Like any relationship with you would be put on hold while she is at school so it's pointless. So it may not be a bad reason but her interest dropped. The only thing I would do is text her, call her, whatever, casually, then pretend like she doesn't exist and invest no effort in her. You put in the effort and she is not returning any, so leave it to her to show some effort. If she does, great. If she doesn't, it won't matter because you have effectively moved on. In other words, keep the door open but move on.
Author Marcoo Posted October 22, 2022 Author Posted October 22, 2022 (edited) There was a girl who liked me. Her friends kept telling me that she likes me for months. My brother once showed me a convo with her best friend and it was all about how she wants to be with me, how much she likes me, she was upset I didnt come to party where she thought I will be etc. We became friends and after some time we got closer. Every time we met we hugged, kissed on a cheek. Everyone thought we are dating. Then came my birthday party and I asked her out and she said yes and later that night we kissed like romantically ( like couple dont how to say it). The next few weeks we didnt meet because always one of us was busy or on holiday but mostly she was the one busy. About a month after first kiss we kissed again. A week later her friends started telling me that she is complicated, they’re confused of her and maybe i should give up on her and that they know I am a right guy for her but depends if she knows it. So i asked her if she wants to go out and she said yes. So we went finally. I had a good feeling about the date, we went for a walk we talked about some mutual friends latest events, school, her dream job. But then I texted her if she’d go out again and she replied she does’t know that she is busy now and school year starts (she is in boarding school). Then we met on the party and I wanted to know how things are between us and she said that it is nothing against me but she doesn’t want relationship now. Then I asked her friends like what happened they said it is just how she is, that she doesn’t know what she really wants, she is complicated and that she finds other boys attractive as well. Then one her friend said that she said that on the date I was nervous and then we didn’t have much to say. But I don’t know. Maybe there were some weaker parts but there was no awkward silences, we laughed a bit (then she said that joke to her friend) and I didn’t have the same feeling after the date. On the date we got back to meeting point from where she was supposed to gome and when we got there we were still talking for some time before we said hi. But I don’t know, it was weird that even before the date they were saying these things like she didn’t want already. I would say the kisses were fine especially the first one and both were quite long. What do you think about this? Edited October 22, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator paragraphs
Author Marcoo Posted October 22, 2022 Author Posted October 22, 2022 (edited) [How do I behave around a girl who rejected me] I mean there is no chance we won’t meet. We are from same village, we have mutual friends etc. Edited October 24, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator edit due to merged threads
Wiseman2 Posted October 22, 2022 Posted October 22, 2022 1 hour ago, Marcoo said: I texted her if she’d go out again and she replied she does’t know that she is busy now and school year starts (she is in boarding school). Unfortunately it may be true that she's busy with school as well as friends, family and other obligations or she is trying to be polite and 'let you down easy" by using the "too busy " excuse. Either way, let her be so you can be free to date more interested girls. Try not to use hearsay from her friends to determine interest. Believe her and her words. 1
glows Posted October 22, 2022 Posted October 22, 2022 2 hours ago, Marcoo said: Then we met on the party and I wanted to know how things are between us and she said that it is nothing against me but she doesn’t want relationship now. Then I asked her friends like what happened Know when No means No. She doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. I suggest you cease completely asking her friends what they think about her. It’s invasive, creepy and you’re sinking deeper and deeper into a hole you can’t get out of. Think of it the other way around and if someone you were getting to know starts behaving this way and contacting your friends for information. Do you think thats flattering and attractive? Most people would find it invasive of their privacy and any initial attraction would be gone. If you’re having problems concentrating, anxiety, overthinking and staying on track, talk with your doctor. This may be a bigger underlying problem. It is NOT her problem to keep seeing you if she’s made it clear she doesn’t want to. Be respectful of someone’s wishes. 1
basil67 Posted October 22, 2022 Posted October 22, 2022 Ah, I'm sorry. But for the future, behave like you did before she rejected you. It will be difficult, but you don't want to make things weird for her or those around you. 1
Author Marcoo Posted October 23, 2022 Author Posted October 23, 2022 (edited) What would you do if you really like a guy you go out with him but it wasn't what you exactly expected? Maybe a bit disapointing Edited October 23, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator moved title to body of thread
Weezy1973 Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 22 minutes ago, Marcoo said: Maybe a bit disapointing It’s bound to happen. Reality can’t really compete with fantasy.
NuevoYorko Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 Nothing is going to be exactly as you expected when you are dealing with people. Especially if you are just getting to know them. The whole point, in fact, is to be open to learning about them and what it's like to spend time together. Not to compare reality to some kind of a thing you made up in your head. Disappointing because it was different than what you expected / hoped, or because he behaved in a way that you disliked?
Author Marcoo Posted October 23, 2022 Author Posted October 23, 2022 (edited) What would you do if you really like a guy for a long time, you kissed but it wasn't really good? Edited October 23, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator merged threads
chillii Posted October 23, 2022 Posted October 23, 2022 (edited) lf l'd really thought she was special before hand but it did go a bit that way our first time, think l'd give it one more try, another chance. lt depends what it was that was disappointing some things l'd know were just her and prob what l'm seeing is what it is and just not my thing after all, but others. Maybe she was nervous or we both were, not herself, maybe things just needed a bit of time. Edited October 23, 2022 by chillii
Author Marcoo Posted October 24, 2022 Author Posted October 24, 2022 (edited) Have you ever felt sorry for a guy you rejected? And regret it after some time Edited October 24, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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