Poptart66 Posted August 30, 2022 Share Posted August 30, 2022 Hey guys, Wasn't too sure where to put this as it wouldn't let me just select dating. I'll start by saying I'm a massive overthinker and am currently in the middle of changing medications for depression and anxiety as previous one wasn't working. Anyway I have recently reconnected with an ex from a good few years back. He now lives a couple of hours drive from me but that's all fine. That's not the issue. The issue (if it even is an issue) is that I've noticed that is ex has reacted to a post on his fb this week, they don't have eachother as friends but have mutual friends that were tagged in the post so it's not really an issue in itself, but this weekend he is driving 3 hours to spend the weekend in her area to see the children rather than having them at his house like normal. He has said it is because they are starting back at school so wants to spare them the long drive. That's fair enough. But now my mind is going into overdrive thinking he's going there to see her too. I'm sure I'm just being paranoid as my ex cheated on me (not this guy), I just need someone to tell me to pull myself together and to stop overthinking everything. Sorry for the ramble Thanks guys x Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 30, 2022 Share Posted August 30, 2022 More than likely they just have a friendly co parenting relationship which is good for the kids. If they wanted to be together he wouldn't be with you. What he said about traveling there sounds reasonable to me. Don't make an issue out of this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Poptart66 Posted August 30, 2022 Author Share Posted August 30, 2022 Thank you! I know this is probably the case, and the travelling does make perfect sense, I just let myself get in my own head all the time x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 30, 2022 Share Posted August 30, 2022 33 minutes ago, Poptart66 said: I have recently reconnected with an ex from a good few years back. He now lives a couple of hours drive from me but that's all fine. this weekend he is driving 3 hours to spend the weekend in her area to see the children rather than having them at his house like normal. He has said it is because they are starting back at school so wants to spare them the long drive. Who contact whom? When did you last see each other? Why did you originally break up? You're not dating, just reconnecting as FB s friends so there is nothing to worry about. Focus on your health and dating fresh new local compatible available people when you feel better. Try not to backpaddle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Poptart66 Posted August 30, 2022 Author Share Posted August 30, 2022 7 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Who contact whom? When did you last see each other? Why did you originally break up? You're not dating, just reconnecting as FB s friends so there is nothing to worry about. Focus on your health and dating fresh new local compatible available people when you feel better. Try not to backpaddle. I'm unsure where you get that we aren't dating from? We broke up as we drifted apart, we have always remained friends. Perhaps I worded it wrong in my original post 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 30, 2022 Share Posted August 30, 2022 I don’t see anything wrong with him traveling with his kids to be with their mother before school. I also didn’t see where it was clear that you were dating this man although it is posted under long distance relationships. If you’re sexting and exchanging heavily intimate messages and aren’t dating in the traditional sense meeting regularly each week as local couples do then I see where the anxiety is coming from. What I’d do is take a closer look at your involvement with this person and try not to misinterpret his affections if he’s recently separated or divorced. He has other priorities and his kids will always come first. As an ldr or potential long distance relationship you’re likely right at the bottom of those priorities especially if you both don’t see each other often. Mind you, the situation is quite vague so I’m sharing thoughts with you despite not knowing the full story. Looking at the way you’ve invested emotionally into this and being in this type of situation may give some insight as to why you’re feeling overly anxious and nervous. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Poptart66 Posted August 30, 2022 Author Share Posted August 30, 2022 We do meet but it isn't as often as we'd like as we both have children. They have been separated for just over 2 years now and we have been seeing eachother for about 4 months. I apologise I obviously didn't make it clear enough in my original post that we were dating. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted August 30, 2022 Share Posted August 30, 2022 When you and he were in your first go-round of dating, did he already have the ex and kids? If so, how did you handle it at that time? There is nothing shady about this situation. You will need to be able to deal with it, though, as it's very likely to be a recurring type of event in your life if you keep seeing this man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Poptart66 Posted August 30, 2022 Author Share Posted August 30, 2022 No he didn't. I didn't have any children of my own then either. It was about 10 years ago. I can deal with it, that's not the issue. I just get in my head sometimes. I knew before posting that there was no issue I just needed to hear it from someone other than myself to snap myself out of it if that makes any sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts