Things just never get better!

[Ryan_B]

Hello. I've posted on here before, but not for a while. Just over two years ago, my wife left me. We have two children and I went through courts and solicitors to get a schedule with h the children, as I was finding it hard to see them as my ex wife was always trying to stop me seeing them (for no reason). I now have them most weekends and every wednesday. The divorce was finalised back in march this year aswell, so everything is now all settled. I'm really struggling being alone though. I've had a few dates in the two years since the split, but they've never really amounted to much and always fell apart after a few weeks. I've not met anyone now though, for a few months. I feel like I'm losing my friends as they are all meeting new partners, moving away and getting married etc and I'm completely alone. I am extremely low on confidence so find it nigh on impossible to meet anyone, and the dating sites etc never seem to work anymore. Has anyone got any advice on being alone with nobody to speak too?! I feel jealous of my friends to be honest, they are all making the best if their lives, going on holidays, getting married, or whatever, and then there's me, alone in my flat (other than when I'm with my girls) and nothing ever seems to change! It's been over two years now that I've been on my own (apart from those few dates) and feel like I'm a total failure 

[glows]

Ryan, from one divorced person to another I know the loneliness you’re speaking about. I don’t know what others did but when I fear something I tend to hurl myself straight into it guns blazing. That’s just my personality. What I did is I embraced the quiet moments and found plenty of reasons to be grateful, volunteered, worked and genuinely put myself out there wanting to be involved. I made friends and those friendships ironically led to more meaningful relationships. 

Don’t lose heart and keep your chin up. My only advice is not to run away from the fear of loneliness. Go straight into the storm and enjoy your life. Every little strand of joy and hope you find makes a thick braid and you won’t realize it until a few years later. Your heart will be full to bursting. Don’t be afraid.