DawgUK Posted August 25, 2022 Posted August 25, 2022 Sorry for the long post but im in a pickle My GF of almost 4 years (we live together and have a dog) dumped me last week out of the blue Saying she hasn’t experienced independence before, needs to be her and also we had gotten lazy. I moved to a friends place temporarily while i find a new place. She agreed to a compromise i suggested that maybe we could go on a few dates once the dust is settled, not sure how seriously shes taking that. she says im the best friend she ever had and have set her standards very high. I Really want to patch it up with her. Been trying to leave her alone give short (sometimes cold sounding) answers when she texts. Recently she has texted me a question about the dog that i know she already knew the answer to and randomly asked if I had stayed 1 or 2 nights in the flat whilst she was away and then asked why when i said 1, as uf its her business. I did say i can pop over if she likes but it would have to be for a reason, she said no need. Can someone tell me what is going on? is what im doing going to help us repair and if not how should i go about it.
Wiseman2 Posted August 25, 2022 Posted August 25, 2022 (edited) 14 minutes ago, DawgUK said: she hasn’t experienced independence before, needs to be her and also we had gotten lazy. I moved to a friends place temporarily while i find a new place. i suggested that maybe we could go on a few dates once the dust is settled. randomly asked if I had stayed 1 or 2 nights in the flat whilst she was away I did say i can pop over if she likes but it would have to be for a reason, she said no need. Sorry this is happening. How old is she? How long have you lived together? Do you want the same things such as marriage, family, etc.? Do you both work and contribute roughly equally financially? Do you both participate in household errand, chores etc.? What does she mean by "lazy"? Complacently coasting along? The romance is stagnant? You two have fallen into a rut? Is it her place or did you co-lease/co-own? What do you mean by "dust settle"? Was there an argument? Do not ask if you can stay at her place or "pop over". Do not smother or creep back into the flat in roundabout ways. Give her some space. You've known each other 4 years, so you know what's going on and what's wrong. Edited August 25, 2022 by Wiseman2
stillafool Posted August 25, 2022 Posted August 25, 2022 What's going on is she has you where she wants you, panting at her feet like your precious dog does. Look, if she wants to experience independence, give her space the size of Texas. Go about your life do not be quick to answer her calls or texts especially if she calls early morning to see if you came home (let her wait for days before you respond). Take the dog with you as women love dogs. Start dating other girls and don't care if she finds out about it. I'm a woman and I can tell you now is the time to show her how strong you are and what she's losing. What's happening here is she has probably met a guy she wants to date while keeping you on hold to see if it works out or not. Don't be that guy who waits or begs. If you do the above I can almost guarantee you will turn her attention back to you. 1
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