Angel29 Posted August 18, 2022 Posted August 18, 2022 I became friends with a man in April. About 6 weeks ago we started speaking everyday as an incident in our friendship group brought us closer. He has messaged me "Your welcome, your an attractive lady with an interesting personality, and I am really enjoying getting to know you at a slow pace. Although I think I would be too much for you " Now, he has told me all about his past which he has had lots of relationships he jumped into and some of the outcomes were horrific. He is clearly traumatised by it. Twice in person he has told me he does want to meet someone but has walls up. After his history it's understandable he is guarded. I do like this guy and completely agree for both of our benefits we should get to know each other slowly as many years ago I rushed into something which was not a good idea. Is it best to move on as I don't want to be hanging around for someone who could be just passing the time with no real intention of having a relationship with myself of anyone? I don't want to be in the same position in another 6 weeks of still being friends and it's not going anywhere.
alphamale Posted August 18, 2022 Posted August 18, 2022 I think you should learn more about his past and then make your decision. Give it a few more months 1
Maldives Posted August 18, 2022 Posted August 18, 2022 You mentioned that you truly understood where he's coming from, but I'm afraid if you truly understood, this wouldn't even be an issue and you wouldn't be posting on this forum looking for advice. Seems you both have different goals so move on in my opinion 1
Wiseman2 Posted August 18, 2022 Posted August 18, 2022 3 hours ago, Angel29 said: Twice in person he has told me he does want to meet someone but has walls up. How do you know each other? When someone tells you straight up that they're too "damaged", "hurt", "stressed", or "busy" to date, don't wait around wishing and hoping. He's not available and making it crystal clear. 1
Rider on the Storm Posted August 18, 2022 Posted August 18, 2022 (edited) 5 hours ago, Angel29 said: Is it best to move on as I don't want to be hanging around for someone who could be just passing the time with no real intention of having a relationship with myself of anyone? I don't want to be in the same position in another 6 weeks of still being friends and it's not going anywhere. Often times, I think men claim that they need to take it slow due to past emotional baggage or other reasons when they really aren't interested in a relationship. If a man is truly interested, he is going to try and do what is necessary to hold onto you, not make excuses to keep you at arm's length. Edited August 18, 2022 by Rider on the Storm 1
introverted1 Posted August 18, 2022 Posted August 18, 2022 6 hours ago, Angel29 said: Now, he has told me all about his past which he has had lots of relationships he jumped into and some of the outcomes were horrific. This is what would concern me. How old is he? Why has he had "lots" of relationships that fit this pattern? What work has he done on himself to avoid this pattern in the future? If he is blaming all these past failures on the women, then he has not looked hard enough at the common denominator in his past.
Alpacalia Posted August 18, 2022 Posted August 18, 2022 Slow is the new fast. Get to know someone properly before placing your complete trust in them. Sounds like a good idea.
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