No contact during vacation

[Justagirl1994]

Okay, so I have this boyfriend with whom I've been for 2,5 years. It's complicated but I don't want to elaborate on that too much. The only important thing is that I love him, and I am convinced he loves me. Or I was, at least...

Normally he calls me almost every single day, and we text daily. He is a very attentive guy. When I was on vacation, we still called and/or texted every single day. He wanted to know I arrived safely and to tell him what I was up to from time to time.

Now he is on vacation. And I know he is the kind of guy to throw his phone in a corner when he is busy, so it's not all that strange behavior, but I haven't heard from him once in 5 days, and that is starting to drive me insane.

I specifically asked him to at least let me know he got there safely and he didn't even do that.

I am starting to question whether he really loves me, cares about me. Because he is clearly not thinking about me, or else he could take at least 5 minutes a day to let me know how he is doing, right? He is only online on whatsapp once or twice a day, which calms me down a little, but if you love someone, you want to be in contact with them, right?

I had a hard time last year too and he knows that, so why wouldn't he take the time to ease my mind a little?

I don't want to confront him now because I don't want to ruin his vacation, and I don't want to confront him when he is back because then I just want to enjoy him being back, but I can't suppress these feelings, right?

I really don't know what to think or do anymore...

[Wiseman2]

43 minutes ago, Just-Abby-1995 said:

 I've been for 2,5 years. It's complicated but I don't want to elaborate on that too much. The only important thing is that I love him, and I am convinced he loves me. 

Sorry this is happening. How old is he? Is he on vacation with friends and family or visiting friends and family?

Have you ever gone on vacation together?  You say "it's complicated", surely that plays a role here. Are either of you married or in other relationships?

You haven't called him? You stated you're "convinced he loves me", but has he ever said so?

[ExpatInItaly]

He appears quite disinterested in the relationship.

After 2.5 years together, 5 days of zero contact is way off, even on vacation. You know this. 

You wrote "It's complicated but I don't want to elaborate on that too much"

Maybe this would explain his current behaviour, though, OP. This is happening in bigger context. It doesn't sound like this relationship is a very good one, and his silence is a reflection of that. You appear to be a lot more invested than him. Would that be accurate? 

Edited August 17, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed quote due to member name change

[Justagirl1994]

47 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

He appears quite disinterested in the relationship.

After 2.5 years together, 5 days of zero contact is way off, even on vacation. You know this. 

Maybe this would explain his current behaviour, though, OP. This is happening in bigger context. It doesn't sound like this relationship is a very good one, and his silence is a reflection of that. You appear to be a lot more invested than him. Would that be accurate? 

Usually he is just as invested as I am, he calls and texts every day, even when he's got nothing interesting to tell me. He really puts effort into us, so I haven't had any doubts until now. He only ever makes me happy, normally.

I'm hoping it's just because he is on vacation and is distracted.

He is the kind of guy that doesn't keep his phone on him when he is busy; he told me beforehand he probably wouldn't contact me much. He hasn't been on social media at all, and has only checked in on whatsapp like once or twice a day. I guess that's just the kind of person he is.

I try to keep imagining him doing all kinds of fun and relaxing things while his phone is somewhere in a bag or the car, and that he at least thinks of me in the meantime. 

It would just be nice if he would take just 5 minutes a day to let me know how he is doing.

Maybe I am overreacting. It's just hard because he is my person; we tell each other everything and don't keep secrets. I miss telling him the little things of my day.

[ExpatInItaly]

You're not over-reacting, but you're sure trying hard to justify his lack of contact. 

5 days without contacting one's girlfriend of 2.5 years is not a good sign, OP. He is online on What's App, so he certainly is talking to someone. Just not you, which would concern me quite a lot. 

Who is he on vacation with?

Edited August 17, 2022 by ExpatInItaly

[Wiseman2]

28 minutes ago, Justagirl1994 said:

 we tell each other everything and don't keep secrets.

It doesn't seem like that. You seem overinvested. Why haven't you called him?  Are you  afraid to? You say "it's complicated" what does that mean?

[bene]

5 days of silence in an established relationship is a long time. You said that your relationship is complicated, the answer is probably there. You are making excuses for him, nobody is that busy on vacation that there is no time to send a picture or call every once in a while.

After 2,5 years I’d expect that a couple makes holiday plans together. Of course an occasional trip with friends is fine but your significant other should be the first choice in my opinion. Do you know who he’s with?

Edited August 17, 2022 by bene

[glows]

4 hours ago, Justagirl1994 said:

Okay, so I have this boyfriend with whom I've been for 2,5 years. It's complicated but I don't want to elaborate on that too much. The only important thing is that I love him, and I am convinced he loves me. Or I was, at least...

Normally he calls me almost every single day, and we text daily. He is a very attentive guy. When I was on vacation, we still called and/or texted every single day. He wanted to know I arrived safely and to tell him what I was up to from time to time.

Now he is on vacation. And I know he is the kind of guy to throw his phone in a corner when he is busy, so it's not all that strange behavior, but I haven't heard from him once in 5 days, and that is starting to drive me insane.

I specifically asked him to at least let me know he got there safely and he didn't even do that.

I am starting to question whether he really loves me, cares about me. Because he is clearly not thinking about me, or else he could take at least 5 minutes a day to let me know how he is doing, right? He is only online on whatsapp once or twice a day, which calms me down a little, but if you love someone, you want to be in contact with them, right?

I had a hard time last year too and he knows that, so why wouldn't he take the time to ease my mind a little?

I don't want to confront him now because I don't want to ruin his vacation, and I don't want to confront him when he is back because then I just want to enjoy him being back, but I can't suppress these feelings, right?

I really don't know what to think or do anymore...

I’m wondering why you’re both not on vacations together? Is he with friends or family? Have you met them? Is this a long distance relationship or have you met one another in person? You mention when he’s back but is that to your same cities/countries? Is he married or in a relationship with someone else? 

You’re not overreacting but without knowing more of the context of your relationship it’s difficult to understand why he wouldn’t contact you while vacationing. 

Couples usually do keep connected and five days is a long time. 

[Gaeta]

3 hours ago, Justagirl1994 said:

Usually he is just as invested as I am, he calls and texts every day, even when he's got nothing interesting to tell me.

You have not mentionned once spending time together, is this an online relationship?