Trying an open relationship?

[BaileyB]

7 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said:

My view is adventure in that direction only if it REALLY interests you, not just a thing to do to break out of a rut.

Or because it is what he says that HE wants. And don't compromise yourself in an attempt to keep him in your life. You don’t actually “have” him now… 

The least invested person has all the control in a relationship. Don’t invest more than you are willing to lose. 

Edited August 14, 2022 by BaileyB

[Alpacalia]

Such a situation just seems like a recipe for harm, instabilities, and disappointment.

It may be prudent to prepare yourself for feeling depressed, anxious, and dejected, and losing hope in a committed relationship structure. 

I have been approached by open couples, and I CAN SEE on the woman's face how miserable and low she feels. I am sorry to say this, but none of these women seemed to be satisfied in this type of arrangement. I am uninterested in their arrangement or being a part of it. However, observing her dissatisfaction from a distance was upsetting.

There is no doubt that the individual that you are involved with may claim to value the "freedom" that non-monogamy gives him, but in reality he is really just looking for a way out of responsibility and for hedonistic, meaningless sex relationships to satisfy his desires.

Aside from being a primitive and unnecessary emotion, your feelings of jealousy serve to protect you from harm. It's a sign he is devoting his attention, time, and resources to another woman. It's okay if you can't handle sharing your partner. That's who you are. You do not need to change in order to appease anyone.

Edited August 14, 2022 by Alpacalia

[alphamale]

59 minutes ago, BaileyB said:
The least invested person has all the control in a relationship. Don’t invest more than you are willing to lose. 

Ain’t that the truth BB

[alphamale]

1 hour ago, BaileyB said:

The least invested person has all the control in a relationship. Don’t invest more than you are willing to lose. 

Ain’t that the truth BB

[alphamale]

1 hour ago, BaileyB said:

Or because it is what he says that HE wants. And don't compromise yourself in an attempt to keep him in your life. You don’t actually “have” him now… 

The least invested person has all the control in a relationship. Don’t invest more than you are willing to lose. 

Ain’t that the truth BB, especially the last part about least invested

[glows]

15 hours ago, AmyHershaw said:

It's complicated because I'm not entirely opposed to it, but because I've only ever been in monogamous relationships, I don't know how I'll be with it. With my previous relationship, there was a point where I suggested bringing another woman in. He's said he understands and respects the fact that I'm unsure and won't pressure me into anything.

The way I’ve read this thread is you’ve been seeing someone as an fwb for less than a year and seem curious about trying something new. Feelings aside I’d be more concerned about health concerns and STDs. This is a low investment /low risk venture with not much emotional investment and much higher risk in terms of health concerns. In this short amount of time you’ve encountered a possible dealbreaker with someone you’re not even in a relationship with to start. It could be said the whole thing is a total non-issue.

Think about it. If it’s not for you forget about it, date someone else. If you’re curious know what you’re signing up for. It doesn’t sound to me like this fwb situationship will last either way. Just don’t pick up anything along the way that’s a little more permanent.

[Wiseman2]

On 8/10/2022 at 11:55 AM, AmyHershaw said:

I've been in a FWB relationship with this guy for about three months, 

You Are in an open relationship. What exactly do you want to see happening? You're both free to date and sleep with others as it is with FWB. Does he or do you want threesomes? What exactly do you mean by "open relationship" in this case?

[Gaeta]

I think this guy is using the 'polyamourous' excuse to sleep around.  The way I understand it, all parties involved have to agree on the new partner. Polyamorous relationships and open relationships are different. 

OP: How old are you? What do you want long term? Are you aiming at getting married, having children? Do you want a partner that will be fully part of your life and integrate your family? 

[Els]

I think there's a very easy way to figure out exactly how you feel about this. Basically, just ask yourself: How would you feel if he proposed having a MONOGAMOUS relationship with you?

If you would feel ecstatic or even happy... yeah, don't do this. That's a clear sign that you actually have feelings for him and you want monogamy - in that case, doing this will only get you hurt down the road. Poly relationships only work if BOTH people want to be poly.

If you'd feel put off or disinterested by that thought, then by all means go for it and have fun!

[ExpatInItaly]

When you have to convince yourself to try something that goes against your inherent nature, you are setting yourself up to get hurt.