MIAho Posted August 8, 2022 Posted August 8, 2022 A few months ago, a new woman joined my CrossFit gym. At first she didn't really notice or say anything to me but over the next few weeks I noticed that she kept trying to get my attention. If we were in the same class together, I would notice her looking over at me, sometimes she would make some silly joke or comment to try get me to laugh or look at her. If she was taking the class after mine and I was still doing the workout, I would notice her cheering me on from afar and then giving me thumbs up when I finished. Despite that, I never really approached her. At the time, I was involved with another woman and I don't really look to date anyone at my gym. Despite that, I still felt drawn to her. Over the spring, she suddenly stopped coming to the gym for about 3 months but a few weeks ago, she returned. When she walked past me said briefly said "hi" and I responded by saying to her that I "hadn't seen her in a while." Then, she went to the back of the gym to stretch and she seemed a little taken aback by my comment. Despite that she still approached me later on, to be her partner in the workout. The following week, she showed up again, this time to the class after mine. When she came into the gym, I was still in the middle of the workout but when we made eye contact with each other, we both kind of smiled and waved at each other. After my class finished we had a very brief conversation about the workout. As I was leaving, I was taking a picture of the PR board in my gym, as I had just hit Deadlift PR of 385 lbs and I noticed her look over at me and smile. Last week, we were in the same class again, and we talked a little more. During the class, we talked about different CrossFit movements and afterwards, I finally introduced myself. It turns out that we actually have a few things in common besides CrossFit. We both work in the same career field, she actually works in the town next to the one I live in. So for now my approach has been to continue having conversations with her to build up a comfort level. I'm starting to notice that our interactions have been getting longer. I'd like to ask for her number and maybe even a date but I'm kind not sure how would I do that yet? How should I do that?
Wiseman2 Posted August 8, 2022 Posted August 8, 2022 4 minutes ago, MIAho said: I finally introduced myself. So for now my approach has been to continue having conversations with her to build up a comfort level. Since you see each other frequently, just ask if she would like to go for a drink/coffee one time after a workout or some other time. That way she won't feel like you're a "number collector" or put her on the spot if she doesn't like handing out her number. 3
BreakOnThrough Posted August 8, 2022 Posted August 8, 2022 Ignore her and look at the ground when you see her from now on... Nah, just do what Wiseman said above. 1 1
Clarity1 Posted August 9, 2022 Posted August 9, 2022 You've already built up a good rapport with her, and since your conversations are getting longer, she's feeling comfortable around you which is great. Since you've already had these frequent interactions, it would be pretty standard if you just said you guys should go for a post-workout coffee or something if she's keen to chat outside the gym. 1
Lotsgoingon Posted August 9, 2022 Posted August 9, 2022 Relax and keep talking. At some point it should be clear that it's time to ask for her number and to suggest hanging out a bit. 1 1
Author MIAho Posted December 12, 2022 Author Posted December 12, 2022 So I have an update. After my last post, she took another break from the gym for about two months. When she returned, she told me that she didn't have time to go to the gym because of her job and because she was in the middle of moving but conversationally, we immediately just picked up where we left off. She was completely comfortable talking to me. Over the next two weeks, she would come into the gym and we'd have a long talk about work and the workout. One day, the workout was a partner workout and she asked me if I wanted to partner with her for the workout and we spent the entire class talking to each other and doing this workout together. After the class, we talked for a bit before I asked her for and finally received her number. Despite that, I haven't gone too crazy with texting her. We've mostly texted each other to find out when we were working out. When we're at the gym, we talk almost constantly to the point where some of the Coaches are starting become suspicious of us. Sometimes, she vents to me about things going on at her job or asks me for advice on what weight to use. We encourage each other during the workouts and she occasionally asks me to partner with her during Partner Workouts and sometimes gets me to do other workouts with her. I would say that we're pretty established as friends at this point but I still don't think that she's ready to meet me somewhere outside of the gym. What should I do?
smackie9 Posted December 12, 2022 Posted December 12, 2022 Sorry but I see friend zoned stuff here. If she isn't flirting with you by now or hinting at going out or asking if you have a GF, etc I don't think she's all that interested. Women can get instantly attached with no romantic feelings. If you are not feeling it from her then it's a no go.
glows Posted December 13, 2022 Posted December 13, 2022 You may have parked yourself squarely into the friendzone. I’m puzzled why you haven’t asked her out yet. She probably assumes you’re not that into her and she’s moved on and thinks you’re okay to chat with or partner with at the gym.
Alvi Posted December 13, 2022 Posted December 13, 2022 8 hours ago, MIAho said: I would say that we're pretty established as friends at this point but I still don't think that she's ready to meet me somewhere outside of the gym. What should I do? Tell her that you are going for a coffee/tea/booster juice/burger/whatever after the workout. Ask if she would like to join you. What's the worst that can happen? Seriously, lol. Continue being polite and friendly in case she declines. But don't push it any further. Be brave! Maybe she is the one thinking that you are not interested. 1
mortensorchid Posted December 16, 2022 Posted December 16, 2022 I agree with the above comments : You have built up a rapport with her and you said she takes frequent breaks from going to the gym. So next time you see her, ask her to go for a drink or something. Eventually the long lapses in contact will cool it off. You are not acting on it so she may think that you're not too interested in being anything further than friends.
JTSW Posted December 16, 2022 Posted December 16, 2022 She is clearly into you. And it sounds like she has been waiting for you to make a move. Go for it.
Wiseman2 Posted December 16, 2022 Posted December 16, 2022 On 12/12/2022 at 11:07 AM, MIAho said: So I have an update. After my last post, she took another break from the gym for about two months. When she returned, she told me that she didn't have time to go to the gym because of her job and because she was in the middle of moving but conversationally, we immediately just picked up where we left off. She was completely comfortable talking to me. Over the next two weeks, she would come into the gym and we'd have a long talk about work and the workout. One day, the workout was a partner workout and she asked me if I wanted to partner with her for the workout and we spent the entire class talking to each other and doing this workout together. After the class, we talked for a bit before I asked her for and finally received her number. Despite that, I haven't gone too crazy with texting her. We've mostly texted each other to find out when we were working out. When we're at the gym, we talk almost constantly to the point where some of the Coaches are starting become suspicious of us. Sometimes, she vents to me about things going on at her job or asks me for advice on what weight to use. We encourage each other during the workouts and she occasionally asks me to partner with her during Partner Workouts and sometimes gets me to do other workouts with her. I would say that we're pretty established as friends at this point but I still don't think that she's ready to meet me somewhere outside of the gym. What should I do? Ok. You have her number so now it's time to decide if dating her vs. ruining the workout friendship is worth it. 1
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