Why do some people sometimes choose to open door for someone who is far away.

[suckykey]

One of my coworkers decided to wait to open door for me while  I was an entire staircase away so I had to run towards him. Why do people choose to open door for you when you are far away when it may inconvenience you and cause you to run towards them.

[Alpacalia]

I do not know for sure, but anything with a duration of holding a door open for over 100 seconds will be considered creepy in most circumstances (with the exception of holding the door open for the elderly, physically impaired, or person holding something) so make sure to keep your eyes open.

Edited August 8, 2022 by Alpacalia

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, suckykey said:

. Why do people choose to open door for you when you are far away when it may inconvenience you and cause you to run towards them.

They're trying to be polite. If you can't make it and actually view a polite gesture as "an inconvenience",  just say "thanks, go ahead, I'm fine".

[Mrin]

6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

They're trying to be polite. If you can't make it and actually view a polite gesture as "an inconvenience",  just say "thanks, go ahead, I'm fine".

This. 100%

[mark clemson]

Human brains don't work perfectly, so he miscalculated the appropriateness of his action in context That's what I see as the primary or "neutral" interpretation. Also you didn't have to run, you can give a "dismissive but friendly" wave towards him to let him know he doesn't need to bother and just keep walking normally. Or tell him not to bother as was suggested above by @Wiseman2.

Speaking generally, there are also a variety of legitimate and not-so-legitimate possible reasons. For example, if you wanted to talk to someone and found it a convenient bit of happenstance that they were on the stairs at the same time you were. Or a (probably rare but possible) negative reason - they get their jollies from subtly manipulating people (and possibly they are not even fully consciously aware that they do it).

Edited August 8, 2022 by mark clemson

[basil67]

Yeah, sometimes I've held a door and realised that they are too far away and a decision must be made.  I tend to choose to be the weird person who holds the door too long, vs the weird person who lets the door go.

[Atwood]

I have done this before. It's just an awkward social misfire. You hold it to be polite and you don't realise they're too far away until it's too late to change your mind without feeling awkward. 

One time I did successfully manage this by holding the door open, realising they were too far, and before they started hurrying I laughingly yelled " too slow!" and they laughed as I let go. I think it just takes a while to build up the confidence to draw attention to the fact you did something socially awkward. It also helped that it was a colleague I sort of knew so it wasn't taking a chance a total stranger would be angry with me and chase me down the corridor haha. 

[introverted1]

On 8/8/2022 at 11:00 PM, basil67 said:

Yeah, sometimes I've held a door and realised that they are too far away and a decision must be made.  I tend to choose to be the weird person who holds the door too long, vs the weird person who lets the door go.

This.

There's an awkward in-between distance where holding the door feels like it'll take too long, but not holding it feels like a deliberate rudeness.  In these cases, I err on the side of holding the door too long.  I also sprint forward when someone is holding the door for me (or when I am crossing the street and a car waves me in).

Edited August 12, 2022 by introverted1

[Els]

The number of times I've held an elevator door open for a person who, it turns out, did not want to get in the elevator at all...

Just wave and say you're good.

[glows]

1 hour ago, Elswyth said:

The number of times I've held an elevator door open for a person who, it turns out, did not want to get in the elevator at all...

Just wave and say you're good.

Yes! It happens...