Jim98 Posted July 21, 2022 Posted July 21, 2022 I’ve liked this girl from work for quite a while and we’ve kissed on two occasions over the space of three months. When we first started working together I gathered that she liked me, although she would be quite shy/awkward I thought it was easy to pick up on signals ie-staring, constantly being around you without talking etc. Kiss 1- We had a work night out, and she was staring at me all night before she plucked up the courage to come over to me. We were both quite drunk, but she confessed her feelings, we kissed and she even brought up us seeing each other which left me a bit bemused after one kiss. I did not follow through on those comments in days/weeks after all alcohol was involved and we all say stuff when we’re drunk. Problem 1- As the weeks went by post kiss it started to get extremely awkward between us, it got to a stage where she wouldn’t even acknowledge me when I said hi to her. I gathered it was because I didn’t show her enough attention or address the kiss but a mutual friend talked to her and she said that was not the case as she couldn’t remember anything from said night. (Face palm) Kiss 2- two weeks ago we had another night out, we weren’t as drunk as the last time and come the end of the night she pulled me aside for a talk. She brought up what I said to our mutual friend and was very interested in how I felt about the “situation” and her. I admitted my feelings and she also said she liked me, and once again she made a move on me for a kiss (which was intense) and I obviously obliged. Problem 2- I was out of work for a week , and she was on holiday so I felt the need to text her before we see each other again to see where I stand unlike last time. I did, I told her that I liked her a lot and that I’d like to bring her for a drink. She said she was s*** at giving mixed signals (you don’t say) and was only out of a “thing”, which I understand she is. To put it politely I was rejected lol. Conclusion- Is it understandable for me to be confused rn? Would a girl really say all those things and kiss you twice if she wasn’t interested? I’ve seen her on tinder since, so I’m thinking is it male validation that she craves or is that being too harsh? It’s hard to get my head around a girl who comes across as relatively quiet and nice can mess with my feelings. Any advice would be great.
glows Posted July 21, 2022 Posted July 21, 2022 What does she mean "only out of a thing". That is the most unintelligible mess I've read all day. Someone this incoherent? You can do better. It's unfortunate that she led you on but this wasn't looking too good from the start. When someone comes across as inconsistent and hot/cold like this, leave them alone. You have a work crush but it's best to keep things professional and distance yourself from her. 1
Author Jim98 Posted July 21, 2022 Author Posted July 21, 2022 (edited) 7 minutes ago, glows said: What does she mean "only out of a thing". That is the most unintelligible mess I've read all day. Someone this incoherent? You can do better. It's unfortunate that she led you on but this wasn't looking too good from the start. When someone comes across as inconsistent and hot/cold like this, leave them alone. You have a work crush but it's best to keep things professional and distance yourself from her. Yes, I’d agree with you, she certainly lacks clarity and I should have ran a mile from the start. The only out of a “thing” comment was me getting kindly rejected, no? Just hard to get my head around that someone I’d consider as being quiet/nice can have some sort of hidden agenda. Edited July 21, 2022 by Jim98
glows Posted July 21, 2022 Posted July 21, 2022 10 minutes ago, Jim98 said: Yes, I’d agree with you, she certainly lacks clarity and I should have ran a mile from the start. The only out of a “thing” comment was me getting kindly rejected, no? Just hard to get my head around that someone I’d consider as being quiet/nice can have some sort of hidden agenda. The only thing worse than her lack of clarity is staying hung up on it because she is just not worth that trouble. I doubt she had a hidden agenda. Some people are just messed up and clueless. Let it go and move onto greener pastures.
Wiseman2 Posted July 21, 2022 Posted July 21, 2022 31 minutes ago, Jim98 said: Kiss 1- We were both quite drunk Kiss 2- two weeks ago we had another night out, we weren’t as drunk as the last time Why wait for work related regrettable drunken kisses? Of you are interested in her, ask her on a proper one-on-one date. Otherwise it just looks like coworkers getting drunk and sloppy then regretting it making things awkward at work. Also do not discuss this with others at work. Just ask her out.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 22, 2022 Posted July 22, 2022 She could have been looking for attention or validation when things were shaky with whatever guy she was seeing. I think she is attracted to you, but is not looking for an actual date with you at this time. I can see why you're confused, she's being inconsistent. Personally, I would not ask her out again (or have any more drunken moments)
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