CLS63AMG Posted July 25, 2022 Posted July 25, 2022 On 7/21/2022 at 5:01 PM, sedgwick said: Mostly because I can't really fathom anyone actually being attracted to me. I mean, it's been 15 years! If I were attractive, I feel like I would have been asked out in that time. It just seems very unlikely to me that a genuinely attractive man would be into me, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up at all! Wait, so you're saying you aren't attractive but are only interested in very attractive men?
poppyfields Posted July 25, 2022 Posted July 25, 2022 (edited) 6 minutes ago, CLS63AMG said: Wait, so you're saying you aren't attractive but are only interested in very attractive men? I think it means SHE doesn't think she is attractive which is actually not all that uncommon. Many very attractive people are quite insecure about their looks, models, actresses, etc. I am speculating of course but given this extremely attractive man is pursuing her, I highly doubt she is as unattractive as SHE believes herself to be. OP, you can do things that can build confidence and self-esteem, I don't have time to give you a list, but hopefully this attractive man being interested in you will help in some way, provide some sort of validation for you. Edited July 25, 2022 by poppyfields 1
Saorla Posted July 27, 2022 Posted July 27, 2022 If a guy doesn´t specifically say that he´d like to see me again, I automatically consider that date nr 2 won´t happen. I don´t necessarily need him to plan both dates - if he does say he´d like to meet again, I can take some initiative and suggest to make a plan, but if he gives me a lackluster answer or doesn´t say anything at all - he won´t hear from me. OP, building up some confidence is a must before you fully get yourself back into dating. Having low self-esteem might attract very wrong men.
glows Posted July 27, 2022 Posted July 27, 2022 On 7/24/2022 at 7:33 AM, sedgwick said: I want to tell him those things, but I'm worried it's too soon! But get this -- I'm a writer, and last night he sent me a picture of my book and said he picked up some reading for the plane. There's some heavy stuff in that book, and he said, "Don't worry; I won't ghost you for whatever's in there." He still hasn't asked me out again, though. I'm hoping he will when he gets back. I swear if he does, I'm going to kiss him the minute I see him. I’d dial back the texting and let him know you’d like to see him again when he’s back in town. He’ll get the point that texting is not dating and step it up. If he doesn’t meet you in the middle after you’ve just proposed another date, move on. Give it a week or so for him to catch on when he’s back.
Author sedgwick Posted July 27, 2022 Author Posted July 27, 2022 An update: he asked me out again. We're going to a concert Friday night. It seems that all systems are go! 2
Lotsgoingon Posted July 29, 2022 Posted July 29, 2022 I don't think so. Anytime I hesitated---or time elapsed, almost any time--before me meeting someone and me coming around to asking them out on a follow-up date, that meant I was ambivalent. And I would continue that behavior right through the relationship. Beware ambivalent people, people who like us, but aren't really feeling us. I was ambivalent and then later on ran into ambivalent women. Same tricks. Same delays in talking and so on. 1
Author sedgwick Posted August 2, 2022 Author Posted August 2, 2022 We had a great second date the other night, and are now texting almost every day.
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