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Wildflower201

By Wildflower201
in The Other Man / Woman

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Wildflower201 Established Member

Wildflower201

Posted
Posted (edited)

I've been his OW for almost nine years. I have known him since I was 6. We were together legitimately, he hurt me, we broke up, we started seeing each other unofficially. He got married, I found out on FB. Thus began the affair. 

Eight years. We have two children. He says he loves me, we were planning to get a house. 

He hurt me again. He treats it like it's trivial. 

I want to be free. My emotions are so tied into him and I just want to be free. 

I can't leave. I'm going to take all the pills I have in my house and hope I don't wake up. 

I used to come here to vent, but everyone got tired of me going back. I understand. I wish that I had someone in real life who wouldn't judge me and could see I'm in pain. 

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
Posted (edited)
13 minutes ago, Wildflower201 said:

I'm going to take all the pills I have in my house and hope I don't wake up. 

Please don’t do this. We did not get tired of you - we care!!

If you are feeling this badly wildflower, call your sister or call a suicide hotline. You have children, they need their mother. 

It will get better. I promise. Talk to us wildflower. Tell us what happened. There is support for you here. We will listen. 

If not us, call someone to ask for help. 

Edited by BaileyB
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Wildflower201 Established Member

Wildflower201

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Thank you Bailey, but no.

I just want other women to see. To not do this to themselves. 

Don't do it. They are liars. They don't love you.  Run. Don't have his children. Don't let him ruin your mind and body and life. 

Save yourself. It will never get better. 

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, Wildflower201 said:

It will never get better. 

Not with the MM. No, it will never get better. 

It will get better when you end it. With time. And counselling. And the support of your family. You get yourself to a healthier and happier place - for yourself and your children. 

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Wildflower201 Established Member

Wildflower201

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Bailey, I bet you are a wonderful person in real life. Please tell them, so they don't destroy their lives. Thank you for being there. There is no help for me. I have to go. 

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
Posted (edited)
7 minutes ago, Wildflower201 said:

Bailey, I bet you are a wonderful person in real life. Please tell them, so they don't destroy their lives. Thank you for being there. There is no help for me. I have to go. 

Please, call your sister. Let her help you. She wants to help you. 

There is help for you. You just have to make the call. 

Keep talking to us wildflower. Tell us about your kids. How old are they now? What have you done with them this summer that has been fun?

Edited by BaileyB
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Starswillshine Established Member

Starswillshine

Posted
Posted

WF,

There is light on the other side of this. But you have to go through it. You need to end this and go to the other side of it. You deserve something better. 

You are needed. You have a purpose. Your babies need you, you are loved. Don't let him take this from you and your babies. 

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Myabee Established Member

Myabee

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, Wildflower201 said:

I want to be free. My emotions are so tied into him and I just want to be free. 

Hi. I hear you. However you can be free. I certainly truly understand the pain and real deep pain of getting involved with a MM. I too woukd love to shout it from a mountain to "Don't do it". Listen it's ok to be down. In your case could you consider a therapy person? I will say that's helpful.   

Myabee Established Member

Myabee

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, BaileyB said:

There is help for you. You just have to make the call. 

I second this. 

pepperbird2 Established Member

pepperbird2

Posted
Posted
17 hours ago, Wildflower201 said:

I've been his OW for almost nine years. I have known him since I was 6. We were together legitimately, he hurt me, we broke up, we started seeing each other unofficially. He got married, I found out on FB. Thus began the affair. 

Eight years. We have two children. He says he loves me, we were planning to get a house. 

He hurt me again. He treats it like it's trivial. 

I want to be free. My emotions are so tied into him and I just want to be free. 

I can't leave. I'm going to take all the pills I have in my house and hope I don't wake up. 

I used to come here to vent, but everyone got tired of me going back. I understand. I wish that I had someone in real life who wouldn't judge me and could see I'm in pain. 

Please don't let him do this to you-he's not worth it. The pain may be horrible right now, but it gets better.

 

pepperbird2 Established Member

pepperbird2

Posted
Posted
16 hours ago, Wildflower201 said:

Bailey, I bet you are a wonderful person in real life. Please tell them, so they don't destroy their lives. Thank you for being there. There is no help for me. I have to go. 

Now hold on here just a darn minute.

you have kids? Don't you do this to them. Don't make them carry the weight of your sadness.

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pepperbird2 Established Member

pepperbird2

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, Starswillshine said:

WF,

There is light on the other side of this. But you have to go through it. You need to end this and go to the other side of it. You deserve something better. 

You are needed. You have a purpose. Your babies need you, you are loved. Don't let him take this from you and your babies. 



Op, please hold on. This pain made be awful right now, but it won't lats forever. Try and get trough one day, one hour, one minute at  time if you have to. If you won't do it for yourself, please, do it for your kids. they need you.

Starswillshine Established Member

Starswillshine

Posted
Posted
45 minutes ago, pepperbird2 said:

Now hold on here just a darn minute.

you have kids? Don't you do this to them. Don't make them carry the weight of your sadness.

As someone told me, suicide does not end the pain, it just transfers it. 

 

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BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
Posted (edited)

I do hope that you will come back to us wildflower and tell us that you are ok - that you are getting some help. God help your children if their parents were so wrapped up in their own dysfunction that they are not able to parent and/or would pass the shame and the pain to their children. 

I know that you feel like you can’t let go, but you can and you must - for yourself and your children. If you think the best solution is to take some pills, I promise you that it is not. If that’s what you’ve done, I pray that you did not succeed and that what results from this desperate act is that your family and medical professionals can finally get you the help that you need. My only hope is that this is your rock bottom - and from here, you can begin a journey of healing. 

Edited by BaileyB
Hrgirl915 Member

Hrgirl915

Posted
Posted

Dear Wildflower,

I want you to know I understand how you feel. I’m so sorry for the pain you feel and for the way this man has treated you. Admittedly I didn’t take the time to read your prior posts so I don’t know all the details. What I do know is some people are just shitty humans. They take from people what they need without reciprocation. And the worst part is they can look in the mirror the next day without conscience. You have two children together and that’s a lifelong tie that binds you together in some form. However, know that you are worthy of better. You can either get busy living or get busy dying. No man or person is worth your will to live. I am praying for you that after nearly a week you are emotionally in a better place. Use the pain to catapult you through this. When you miss him, remind yourself of the way he mistreated you and use that memory to push you through a continued determination of no contact. He is an addiction and they only way you can overcome is by staying away. If you do not, you’ll continue wasting prime years of your life in this cycle of abuse. You can do this. Be strong.

 

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