Is this normal feelings so soon after a breakup + is it because.

[twatwa123]

Sorry if this turns into a little waffle, it's actually quite therapeutic to type out feelings......

 

So I ended the almost two year relationship with my girlfriend on Wednesday. I had doubts at the back of my mind for a while if she was the one as we argued over what I considered to be trivial matters, how fast the relationship should be moving etc,  then a close family member of hers was diagnosed with cancer and she is moving 100 miles away to be with her, so I ended the relationship. It was extremely upsetting for her and myself  (I've never had to break up with anyone before). I was her first for everything so this is going to take its toll on her. 

She was told by her nan a week ago that her illness was Cancer and that she'd like her to move down with her, and gf quite rightly agreed to this. This was the real tipping point for me, on top of everything else, as the doubts I had won't be resolved if we live 100 miles apart and only see each other for 2 weekends a month. I did not see her the weekend prior to ending things as she was with her nan. This was the time I was toying with ending the relationship and it became apparent at least in my mind that I will have to end things as I was crying to myself that she loves me but I don't feel quite the same way about her etc. 

So I had intermittent crying on the 3 days before the breakup happened. (and daily since) 

During the breakup conversation, it was agreed that at the weekend she would come back and collect her possessions at my place, because in her mind she needed a few days to prepare herself for 'the last goodbye'. So I have given her this. My goodbye during the breakup convo was my "final goodbye" ... but now she has to come around at the weekend. I'm not entirely sure how to approach this. I have already put all of her possessions in bags, partially so I can't see them everywhere around my flat. All the sentimental things that are mind and remind me of her have been put into a bag and placed in a wardrobe for now.. I am not sure if I want her to start talking too much to me other than to say hi, give her the bags and then wish her well for the future. OR do I let her say whatever she wants (I am slightly afraid she may try and talk me into trying things for a couple more months, because she is not ready to give up yet, and that I cave it because its easily done!) I also am not sure weather it is a good idea to say to her that, if she wants to, and when she is ready , she can message me if she wants to talk to someone about anything, or if she needs help with anything to message me, but we must have a period of at least 2 months of no contact (to make sure we are both healing from the end of the relationship) as we still value each other, and I feel sympathy for her on a friend level for her having to go through the cancer ordeal with her nan. 

 

I kind of feel a bit odd now, 48 hours after the breakup.

Wednesday: Day of breakup, loss of appetite, sadness, crying. 

Thursday: Loss of appetite, hardly any breakfast eaten, a banana in the afternoon. Then after a good cry after returning from work. Forced myself to meet up with a friend, we went to dinner. I felt OK after this for the rest of the evening. 

Friday: I had a good cry this morning before leaving for work, and a couple more teary sessions during the day. But I don't feel the adrenaline running through me anymore. I feel like I've kind of accepted the relationship is over. I don't feel sad but I don't feel my normal self. I can feel my stomach gurgling which means I'm hungry.

For some reason I always feel better at night, rather than during the day, is this normal? 

I'm perplexed as to why I feel like this 2 days after breaking up with gf. Is this normal after only 2 days? Or do I feel like this because subconsciously I know I'll be seeing her at the weekend, and that when I do the emotions will start flowing again, and the recovery process will be set back? Or is it because subconsciously I decided the relationship was over a few days before it officially was, and that the recovery is actually a week old rather than 2 days 

Edited July 15, 2022 by twatwa123