hcr2 Posted July 14, 2022 Posted July 14, 2022 (edited) Have ED. Now the woman I dated thinks I am bi/gay 1st time. Tried but ED. At the time i thought it was a med I was taking and it turns out that that particular med does in fact cause ED. —So I quit the med. 2nd time. ED again. Totally frustrating. I am feeling really down about this. Urology appt 3 weeks later. Turns out I have/had Prostatitis. Doc told me it takes about 6 weeks. At the time I was not getting erections at any time. I gad to take antibiotics for one month and another prescription for this condition. SHE VERY MUCH KNEW ABOUT THE DOC APPT AND THE RESULTS. I saw this woman for about 3 months we saw eachother a couple of times a week - usually weekdays. Often dinner. Long walks. Kissing. hand holding. We talked a lot about our lives. We talked about our struggles. We talked about our families a lot. We both grew up in homes that were high on the dysfuntional scale. She checked off a lot of boxes. We had similar interests. The last couple of times I saw her she said she was tired so I left her place a bit early so as to not wear out my welcome. One of those times she was in the mood and I missed it. On the last day I saw her i left her place at around 9pm because she told me she had to go to her mom’s 2 hours away. Did not want to get in the way. Then I get a phone call as I am walking to the train . She said she could drive me. So i went back. In the car she said to me. “Don’t take this the wrong way but are you bisexual?” I replied that I was not. Then she parked the car and more questions. “Are you the type of guy that would marry a woman but l be with guys (in other words in the closet)?” No. I am not into guys. It is ot my thing. “Why do you think I am gay”? “You went to [fashion school] (that’s a fashion school. yep! lots of gay guys there. perfectly nice people. never had sex with a man when I went there) “You lived in [ ] ” (that’s an area in [ ] It has actually become a neighborhood with a lot of gay men. I actually moved there way back in the 90’s because I got a good deal. And I actually moved in 2005 to get an even better deal on rent. “You live near [ ] park. Guys hook up there” Yep she is right. Guys do hook up there. And I told her that I had actually walked past guys who i suspected were trying to hook up many times. Finally I told her that about 25 years ago I was with a guy. It was not planned and I was on cocaine ecstacy and booze. I knew the guy I was socializing with was gay. But I really thought we were simply friends. I told here that I really do not remember much about that evening. And that I decided that it was best to stop all contact with that person because I was not interested in having that kind of relationship. Then she said “ Oh everybody has a story like that” but then “but you did do it” Things did not work out between us. I am wondering how others would have felt. Was it an attack? Or was it really a discussion? She later told me she was sexually abused. I am upset because we did have some good times together. Edited July 14, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator edited to remove locations/anonymity
Wiseman2 Posted July 14, 2022 Posted July 14, 2022 7 minutes ago, hcr2 said: Urology appt 3 weeks later. Turns out I have/had Prostatitis. Doc told me it takes about 6 weeks. At the time I was not getting erections. I gad to take antibiotics for one month and another prescription for this condition. It's good you are getting appropriate treatment for your medical condition. A urologist can also workup the ED and prescribe appropriate treatment. As far as this woman she was put off by your admission to having mal-on-male sex. That's ok. She asked, you answered.
Author hcr2 Posted July 14, 2022 Author Posted July 14, 2022 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: It's good you are getting appropriate treatment for your medical condition. A urologist can also workup the ED and prescribe appropriate treatment. As far as this woman she was put off by your admission to having mal-on-male sex. That's ok. She asked, you answered. Thanks for the response. Before I said that she said she had dated bi guys and had gay friends and knew people who had experimented and were now married. Perhaps she was making this up to get me to feel more comfortable telling her everything?
FMW Posted July 15, 2022 Posted July 15, 2022 No, she was not attacking you, it does sound like a genuine discussion. She may have just had too many doubts/questions to feel like she should continue seeing you. If she wasn't sure you were honestly available in all ways to her, including sexual interest, she may not have wanted to continue investing her time and emotions with you. Unfortunately there's not much you can say to her to overcome any doubts she had because of the sexual experiences with you. Hopefully your medical issue is resolved now and you can focus on the women you'll meet going forward, this one just didn't work out. No one's fault.
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