Sean K Posted July 13, 2022 Posted July 13, 2022 Hi all, recently I posted about my gf just suddenly changing on me on a great relationship. Whatever was bothering her EXACTLY, I do not know at this time. However , she recently contacted me to say she wanted us to talk and listen to each other. Now that to me seems great, but I'm also anxious about it. She suggested Sunday just gone to meet and I put the feelers out there of whenever is good with her. She asked if I'd prefer another two weeks when she's not got her children, to which I again said I was happy to respect that. She said it could be good having some extra cooling off time which I agreed with (not that I'm heated), as I'm using the time to focus on getting myself together and sorting out my own personal issues at work, home etc and will obviously be able to tell her what I've done in that time. I don't know what to expect. When we stopped talking a little over a week ago, I genuinely thought that was it. But she's reached out. We've been humble and are honouring a total break in contact. But I don't want to think that in 2 weeks time, I'm just gonna be shot down again by negativity over something that doesn't need to be a big case at all when we have never argued, faught, name called, bickered, shouted, nothing! It's gonna go one of many ways, but I don't wanna feel anxious about it for 2 weeks, when I'm finding positivity working on myself to make whatever was an issue, nothing more. THanks
ExpatInItaly Posted July 13, 2022 Posted July 13, 2022 Ask her what she wants to speak about. I would not agree to meet in person if it's not discuss reconciliation. Anything other than that is going to be far too painful and set you back. 1
Author Sean K Posted July 13, 2022 Author Posted July 13, 2022 52 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Ask her what she wants to speak about. I would not agree to meet in person if it's not discuss reconciliation. Anything other than that is going to be far too painful and set you back. This is where I'm in 2 minds. I don't wanna break the no contact rule and my discipline to contact her and ask that. It may look pushy. On the other hand, where she's telling my family she really likes me, I can't see her just meeting 3 weeks later from the problem, to create another. And as you say, a set back for me.
Wiseman2 Posted July 13, 2022 Posted July 13, 2022 2 hours ago, Sean K said: Will obviously be able to tell her what I've done in that time. She mentioned she wanted to stay friends when she ended it so unfortunately you may believe this is a reconciliation, but be prepared for a continuum of the friendzone. Nothing has changed in this brief time apart, including her situation with her children, co-parenting, schedules, etc. and all the other incompatibilities that brought this to an end. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 13, 2022 Posted July 13, 2022 Breaking no contact is moot at this point, OP. It’s not going to make or break anything. Show her you respect yourself by asking what she wants to discuss, and then you’ll decide if you can meet her or not. It’s useless to waste your time if she just wants to make herself feel less guilty by dumping you again in person. 1
Author Sean K Posted July 13, 2022 Author Posted July 13, 2022 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: She mentioned she wanted to stay friends when she ended it so unfortunately you may believe this is a reconciliation, but be prepared for a continuum of the friendzone. Nothing has changed in this brief time apart, including her situation with her children, co-parenting, schedules, etc. and all the other incompatibilities that brought this to an end. She never said anything about staying friends. And as incompatibles, are extremely few. Surprising how many there are!
Author Sean K Posted July 13, 2022 Author Posted July 13, 2022 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: Breaking no contact is moot at this point, OP. It’s not going to make or break anything. Show her you respect yourself by asking what she wants to discuss, and then you’ll decide if you can meet her or not. It’s useless to waste your time if she just wants to make herself feel less guilty by dumping you again in person. We'll see what happens. I can't see a case of meeting me to tell me something that could have stayed if that's the case. Or if it's needed to push the dagger in one more time, could just do it over phone. Certainly won't go down well if she's looking to do that after a cool off period
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