He said I love you the first time in text. after a break up?

[Venus080411]

So I was dating a guy for about 6 months and we broke up because he felt we were getting too close and he was afraid to take the next step in the relationship.  He has only had very short FWB type of relationships before me.  He said I was the closest anyone has ever gotten to him.

Anyway, about a month after we broke up, he sent me a text apologizing for hurting me, and saying how amazing I am and saying I deserve the absolute best!  I wasn't sure how to take that so I just said "thanks, I hope you are well."   He kept texting me and he was talking about how he missed me and how he thought about me every day.  We were texting back and forth and in response to one of my texts he said "I forgot how good you are" and then said "I love you for that" - now when we dated he never actually said the words I love you.  He would instead always say I really like you and stuff like that.  

Towards the end of our relationship when we were starting to get really close and before we broke up, he would always send me red heart emojis and smileys with the hearts around it, which always confused me since he never actually said the words "I love you" to me and then finally says "I love you for that" a month after we are broken up and in text... anyone have any thoughts on this? 

 

Edited July 12, 2022 by Venus080411

[Alpacalia]

“Do men ever think about the woman they hurt and regret it?" The answer is, “Yes, they do.”

However, I think their greatest regret is women who move on.

How can you be sure of his past relationships? What makes you sure there isn't an ex-girlfriend on the scene? How old is he?

It was only a month ago that he ended things.

There isn't a hint that he regrets your loss or is sorry for hurting you with the exception of a brief apology in his few buttery words.

Assume, for argument's sake, he ran scared.

Either way, this is never fun for you, and it makes emotional trust difficult.

The thought of having a long-term relationship with a guy that you have to coax out of his cave regularly might be tempting, but is that really what you want? It's not your job to be his therapist. Real cavemen went extinct for a reason...time to grow up!

So, I urge you to make a distinction between the genuine concern that your ex has for you and his sole desire for himself. If he tells you that he wants to get back together, you might want to think twice. 

He already disqualified himself.

Edited July 12, 2022 by Alpacalia

[basil67]

I can't tell you what's going on but he can.  I'd send a message of "You dumped me and now you're sending me all this sappy stuff.  What's going on?"   

Edited July 12, 2022 by basil67

[ExpatInItaly]

I would encourage you to discount him as a candidate for reconciliation. 

People like this have no idea what they want, or have underlying issues that prohibit them from offering you the stability and mutually-satisfying relationship you deserve. 

[glows]

5 hours ago, Venus080411 said:

So I was dating a guy for about 6 months and we broke up because he felt we were getting too close and he was afraid to take the next step in the relationship.  He has only had very short FWB type of relationships before me.  He said I was the closest anyone has ever gotten to him.

Anyway, about a month after we broke up, he sent me a text apologizing for hurting me, and saying how amazing I am and saying I deserve the absolute best!  I wasn't sure how to take that so I just said "thanks, I hope you are well."   He kept texting me and he was talking about how he missed me and how he thought about me every day.  We were texting back and forth and in response to one of my texts he said "I forgot how good you are" and then said "I love you for that" - now when we dated he never actually said the words I love you.  He would instead always say I really like you and stuff like that.  

Towards the end of our relationship when we were starting to get really close and before we broke up, he would always send me red heart emojis and smileys with the hearts around it, which always confused me since he never actually said the words "I love you" to me and then finally says "I love you for that" a month after we are broken up and in text... anyone have any thoughts on this? 

 

He seems flaky. I wouldn’t put any stock on red heart emoticons or “I love you for that” when the man himself can’t even remain in a relationship with you.

Fear is a lousy cop out. To involve a person (you) for six months and then tell you it’s essentially him not you who’s the problem and then text you one month later that he misses you is quite ridiculous. 

You still feel for him, it seems. Block or remove him if you don’t wish to see what he says again. I wouldn’t take someone like this seriously at all. 

 

Edited July 12, 2022 by glows

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, Venus080411 said:

 and then finally says "I love you for that" a month after we are broken up and in text.

Sorry this happened. Whenever an ex contacts you, it's for their own reasons. Dry spell, lonely, horny, etc.

Don't take the bait. Your instincts and first response are excellent. Just a bland thanks.

Tell him no thanks then delete and block him. The only thing worse than FWB is on/off relationships.

Edited July 12, 2022 by Wiseman2

[flitzanu]

"i love you for that" is absolutely not the same as "i love you"

 

[ShyViolet]

At best, this guy doesn't know what he wants, is confused, and is second-guessing dumping you.  I hope you are not considering getting back together with him.  Don't waste your time on someone who already dumped you once and doesn't know what he wants.  If you and him were compatible, the relationship wouldn't have ended the first time.  Move on and find someone who won't waste your time and be so unsure about you.